Author Topic: Letters to Santa......  (Read 1596 times)

Offline Katie77

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Letters to Santa......
« on: December 05, 2008, 06:30:07 pm »
Dear Santa,
I've been a good mum all year. I've fed, cleaned and cuddled my
children on demand, visited the doctor's office more than my doctor,
sold sixty-two cases of choc bars to raise money to plant a shade tree
on the school playground. I was hoping you could spread my list out
over several Christmases, since I had to write this letter with my son's
red crayon, on the back of a receipt in the laundry room between
cycles, and who knows when I'll find anymore free time in the next 18
years.
Here are my Christmas wishes:
I'd like a pair of legs that don't ache (in any colour, except purple,
which I already have) and arms that don't hurt or flap in the breeze;
but are strong enough to pull my screaming child out of the lolly aisle
in the grocery store.
I'd also like a waist, since I lost mine somewhere in the seventh month
of my last pregnancy.
If you're hauling big ticket items this year I'd like fingerprint resistant
windows, a radio that only plays adult music; a television that doesn't
broadcast any programs containing talking animals; and a refrigerator
with a secret compartment behind the crisper where I can hide to talk
on the phone.
On the practical side, I could use a talking doll that says, "Yes,
Mummy" to boost my parental confidence, along with two kids who
don't fight and three pairs of jeans that will zip all the way up without
the use of power tools.
I could also use a recording of Tibetan monks chanting "Don't eat in
the living room" and "Take your hands off your brother," because my
voice seems to be just out of my children's hearing range and can only
be heard by the dog.
If it's too late to find any of these products, I'd settle for enough time
to brush my teeth and comb my hair in the same morning, or the luxury
of eating food warmer than room temperature without it being served
in a Styrofoam container.
If you don't mind, I could also use a few Christmas miracles to
brighten the holiday season. Would it be too much trouble to declare
tomato sauce a vegetable? It will clear my conscience immensely. It
would be helpful if you could coerce my children to help around the
house without demanding payment as if they were the bosses of an
organized crime family.
Well, Santa, the buzzer on the dryer is ringing and my son saw my feet
under the laundry room door. I think he wants his crayon back. Have a
safe trip and remember to leave your wet boots by the door and come
in and dry off so you don't catch cold.
Help yourself to cookies on the table but don't eat too many or leave
crumbs on the carpet.
Yours Always, MUM...!
P.S. One more thing...you can cancel all my requests if you can keep my
children happy, healthy and always believing.
*Santa has asked that this gets passed on to all the mummies you
know*
Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect.

It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfection

Offline Kelda

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Re: Letters to Santa......
« Reply #1 on: December 05, 2008, 07:07:53 pm »
cute!

 :)
http://www.idbrass.com

Please use the following links when shopping online -It will help us raise money without costing you a penny.

http://www.easyfundraising.org.uk/idb

http://idb.easysearch.org.uk/

Offline Ellemeno

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Re: Letters to Santa......
« Reply #2 on: December 06, 2008, 05:03:00 am »
Nice.  And nice punchline.

Offline Katie77

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Re: Letters to Santa......
« Reply #3 on: December 07, 2008, 06:48:01 pm »
DEAR SANTA

PLEASE SEND ME A BABY BROTHER




SANTA WROTE BACK

SEND ME YOUR MOTHER.........
Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect.

It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfection

Offline CellarDweller

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Re: Letters to Santa......
« Reply #4 on: December 07, 2008, 08:18:44 pm »
Oh Susie!  I like this idea!  Damn.....I can't remember the last time I wrote to Santa.


hmmmmmmmm........


Dear Santa,

I hope that you and your wife are doing well.  I hope you had a good summer, and are ready for the holiday season!

I would love to say I've been a good boy the whole year, but I'm sure there are times I've slipped up a few times.  However, for the most part, I think I fell onto the "good" list.

What would I like?

I would like to have more engery and commitment, so that I can see myself through to the end of my diet & exercise routine.

I would like to have a boyfriend.  Someone who is faithful, generous, and loving & trusting.  Maybe close to my age, or a little older.

I'd like the opportunity to travel in the coming year, and to meet more brokie friends.

For any of my friends who have issues (mental, physical, or financial), I would like them to have peace of mind. 

I would like to have the courage to face some of the obstacles I'm facing, so that I can get through them.

Hoping I don't find coal in my stocking.

Love,


Chuck


Tell him when l come up to him and ask to play the record, l'm gonna say: ''Voulez-vous jouer ce disque?''
'Voulez-vous, will you kiss my dick?'
Will you play my record? One-track mind!

Offline Katie77

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Re: Letters to Santa......
« Reply #5 on: December 07, 2008, 09:35:39 pm »
Well Chucky......this is YOUR idea, and I like it too.

Originally I thought it would be funny emails we received with letters to Santa, but now you have written your own letter, I think thats a brilliant idea.

So I hope everyone joins in, and sends their own letter to Santa, as well as any funny email ones they receive.


.....oh and by the way Chucky, I'm sure Santa has you listed under the NICE heading on his "naughty or nice list"......and I hope your wish list comes true.xxx
Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect.

It means you've decided to see beyond the imperfection