Thank you, Leslie, for your beautiful story, “A Love Born from Steel.” I’ve just finished reading the final appendices (though haven’t managed to make my way through all the subsequent pages of messages as yet!)
It was the second fanfic I read here at BetterMost, which would make it the second fanfic I have ever read in my life! Initially, I was somewhat reluctant to embrace fanfic. I was carrying an enormous amount of emotional baggage about BBM and Jack and Ennis (like most of us here, I guess) and I suppose I was afraid that I was somehow being “unfaithful” (I’m searching for the right word here) by not sticking with the original.
That all changed some time last Christmas when I noticed a thread, where someone called LazyLJack was sending e-mails to BetterMostians from his ranch in Texas. Well, I can’t begin to tell you how my heart skipped a beat when I read those e-mails and realised it really was “the” Jack. I was so moved, I sent a sad, weepy little message to Jack, telling him how much I loved him and Ennis, and how happy I was to hear of their new life together in Texas (bear in mind that I had not heard of you or “A Love Born from Steel” at that time). Nothing could have prepared me for what happened next. I received a response from Jack. He told me he loved me, too. He said that he and Ennis looked back on Brokeback with fondness, but added that they much preferred the big comfy bed they presently had, which was much nicer than sleeping in a tent that smelt of cat piss or worse! Well, I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, so I did both! Receiving that message from Jack was a very therapeutic, cathartic experience for me. It helped me to begin the healing process. There’s light at the end of the tunnel, but I’m not completely out of the woods just yet. I was telling this story to a friend (BBM fan, though maybe not quite to the extent that I am!) last weekend and spontaneously started to cry half-way through the telling. Big sobs. He comforted me as best he could and I progressed through the moment. Came right out of left-field. Floored me. It was just the thought that Jack was still alive and living happily with Ennis in Texas that did it.
My experience with LazyLJack prompted me to consider that fanfic may hold the key to progressing forward, emotionally, post-BBM, for me. So I went over to the fanfic section and started reading a story there, which I am still following (it’s frightfully good!). I then started reading “A Love Born from Steel.”
Because I love your story so much, I wanted to share my following thoughts with you.
Tom’s sexuality. As a gay man, I was somewhat confused by a straight man being excited by gay male sexuality. It was one of the very few aspects of the plot that didn’t ring true for me. I have known many lovely gay-friendly heterosexual men in my life, and I’m absolutely certain that none of them would be in any way at all interested in what I did in bed! I know many straight men are very turned-on by lesbianism, but it doesn’t transfer over to what guys do together. It started me wondering if Tom was, perhaps, simply a tawdrid little voyeur, who would peek at anyone having sex, irrespective of gender. I soon realised that this wasn’t the case. Ultimately, I was left wishing that this aspect of the plot had simply been avoided and that Tom had just been painted as one of those sweet-natured, gay-friendly straight men that we’ve all met in our lives.
The obnoxious banker. I thought he was painted as a somewhat too overly melodramatic character, right down to his name - Mr Crock-o-Shit! I do appreciate that your intention here was to create an evil foil to Jack & Ennis’ innate goodness. As such, I would have liked you to have created an even more despicable end for this awful man. How more awful than death, you’re asking? Well I’ve been thinking about that! I would have liked him to have been arrested as a child molester of little girls, or exposed as a wife beater and run out of town. I prefer the former option, which would instil in people’s minds the statistical fact that most child molestation is committed by straight men on underage girls (not by gay men on underage boys). In the majority of cases, the offender is known to the victim. This would certainly be in keeping with the banker’s obnoxiously melodramatic persona.
The furniture salesman. We all know that life is full of coincidences. We’re confronted with them all the time, and we readily accept them as an integral part of life. However, having said that, I remember some advice I was once given years ago, when I was toying with the idea of writing the Great Australian Novel (yeah, feel free, laugh – I certainly know I am! LOL). I was advised to never use coincidence as a literary device when writing fiction. It was explained to me that the reader just won’t buy it. And this is how I felt about Jack running into his ex-lover, in the furniture store. I would have preferred that his character was left out entirely.
Gay sex/lovemaking. Congratulations on a job well done. You certainly had me all hot and bothered on more than one occasion. While we’re on this delicate subject, however, can I ask you a personal question? You didn’t hesitate to describe in full detail the most intimate aspects of Jack and Ennis’ lovemaking, right down to describing the number of fingers Jack inserted into Ennis’ rectum (it was two). This makes for very authentically written literature – except for one thing. I am presently reading two other fanfic stories here at BetterMost, also written by female authors, and there is one thing that is always left out. It is never included, even though it is one of the most intimate acts two men can share together. Let me give you a hint as to what it is. Have you ever heard of cunnilingus? Well, there’s a man-on-man equivalent. Again, drawing on my own personal experience, if ever there was a type of man who would like to just lie back and have his lover eat him out, it is Ennis. And Jack is just the sort of guy who would enjoy doing this to Ennis. In the vernacular, it is referred to as “rimming.” It is a most profoundly intimate act, especially when performed languidly and lovingly by two men who are deeply in love. For some reason unknown to me (and probably a lot of your gay male readers), however, female fanfic authors seems to steer clear of it completely.
Leslie, as already stated, I loved “A Love Born from Steel” and was sorry when it ended. I could have quite happily gone-on reading diary-like reports from Texas for the rest of my days (maybe that’s what’s in the other pages at the thread – I guess I’d better get busy reading them all!). My apologies if any of what I’ve raised has already been raised and discussed. I came in late.
Your devoted fan,
Kerry
