Author Topic: ~~THE PERFORMANCE~~ Critics Gallery  (Read 196372 times)

Offline coffeecat33

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE~~ Critics Gallery
« Reply #370 on: October 28, 2006, 12:11:26 pm »
Jack

My gun's about to go off and I ain't jokin' !

   


** sorry... patience has never been one of my strong suits [blush] -cc33 aka Jack

Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE~~ Critics Gallery
« Reply #371 on: October 28, 2006, 01:59:14 pm »
Chapter Two: BrokenArsed Mountain

(Cast List on the way from Jake Twist, Director)

We left Ennis and Alma at the weddin. When next we see them, it's at the weddin of Olivia Owl and Terry Cloth (JBB has been last sited across the Pond somewheres). Jack's also been invited to the weddin and sees Ennis briefly, and Alma gets a notion that somethin strange is goin on with her husband. Also at the weddin are Timmy and friend as well as Guy Raphaelson, which leads to a virtuoso performance between Daniel and himself. Olivia and TC fly off to their honeymoon treehouse, but it doesn't take long before Olivia decides she's married a Waschlappen and she deserts him.

Meanwhile, shooting is proceeding lickety split. The drive-in is featuring a show by Ray-mille, Becky warms up to play baby Alma Jr., and yours truly, Front-Ranger, has to play Alma and Aguirre all at once, running back and forth between the choky trailer and the clothesline!! Fortunately, the warshrag, whom she's sweet on, shows up to help her prepare for the dreaded flipover scene, but where is Jack's Body Butter when you need him? Rumor is he's held up in Portland because they won't allow liquids on planes (how U can call JBB a liquid is beyond me!). While waiting for JBB to show up, the bikers, Jimbo, and Monroe rehearse. Jack's pants scooch over and fill in as Ennis's jammy pants. Finally, Alma makes do with Vick's Vapo-Rub stolen from Jenny, and the scene is successfully played.

The bikers, the bartender, the bull, and our boy Jack gather in the bar to shoot some b's while the bedroom scene winds up, with many appearances of Timmy and his son. Michael Jackson (in the audience) is offended by a crack that Ray-Mille makes and stands up with his girls to object. He's pretty put out butt gets distracted by Jack's desperate plea for a rodeo announcer and gracefully steps up and takes the part, along with a customized rendition of Beat It. clickhere

Later, in the bar, a touching scene between Jack and Jimbo is rudely interrupted by the arrival of Bimbo, as well as the entrance of the bull, Michael Jackson, and Mrs. Twist. Michael and the Mrs. go off with Billie Jean to make cherry cake at Neverland, while the bull teaches Jack a thing or two about the tango, and Gnarls the bartender steals the show without even coming out from behind his bar!

Meanwhile in Riverton, everyone prepares for the fireworks and the bikers arrive with a fine picnic avec un petite pate gros that they picked up at Monroe's place earlier. But Ennis, overhearing them discuss the finer points of the gustation, picks a fight, and Monroe realizes with quel horreur that Alma has married a cibophobe!!  (Or is that a francophobe?) http://bettermost.net/forum/index.php?topic=2739.msg79586#msg79586

Back at the rodeo, Cher has graciously agreed to be the new announcer, with designs on Monroe,  who sent a care package to the ailing bikers. Jack reluctantly returns the red hat to Lureen, and Monroe takes off for Wyoming with the bikers, with Cher in hot pursuit. JBB finally shows up again around #2405, and Lureen mesmerizes Jack with spinning pasties stolen from Cher. The FSD provides crystal balls to get things moving btwn Jack and Lureen, and finally she stops eatin long enough to ensnare Jack, after which Cher and David Tassel-hoff break into the T-bird and retrieve their sacred relics.



« Last Edit: October 28, 2006, 03:43:35 pm by Front-Ranger »
"chewing gum and duct tape"

Offline Ellemeno

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE~~ Critics Gallery
« Reply #372 on: October 28, 2006, 03:01:40 pm »
Lee, that's great.  Hey, I've got an idea - at one time I put Chapter One of your synopsis at the beginning  of the PT, but it was pointed out that that spoils the surprise for people just getting started reading the PT.

So how about this - I could put LINKS to the Synopsis Chapters in the first post of the PT.  "Click here for Chapter One, here for Chapter Two, etc"

Oh!  And Jane, that gives me another idea!!!  We could do the same thing for the Cast List - Instead of keeping the updated Cast List in the first post, we could just keep a LINK to the Cast List.  And we could keep the Cast List itself in a post of yours, and then you would always be able to update it!

Ach, my most genius idea in a long time.  What do you think?
« Last Edit: October 28, 2006, 03:30:42 pm by Ellemeno »

Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE~~ Critics Gallery
« Reply #373 on: October 28, 2006, 03:07:49 pm »
Sounds great to me!
"chewing gum and duct tape"

Offline Ellemeno

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE~~ Critics Gallery
« Reply #374 on: October 28, 2006, 03:14:32 pm »
Sounds great to me!

Jane, I'm going to guess you like this idea too, and do it now.  Let me know if something would work better.

Offline welliwont

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE~~ Critics Gallery
« Reply #375 on: October 28, 2006, 03:21:47 pm »

Sounds great to me!

Jane, I'm going to guess you like this idea too, and do it now.  Let me know if something would work better.

Yeah, I like this idea just fine, about the links to the synopsisessss..,  this gets my vote!!   ;D

J
Then the clouds opened up and God said, "I hate you, Alfafa."

Offline Sashca1007

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE~~ Critics Gallery
« Reply #376 on: October 28, 2006, 04:08:17 pm »
Lee-Fronty, I LOVE your synopsesesesss!  Part 2 was especially helpful to me, even though I'm pretty sure I eventually did read all the original posts.  I've barely had any spare minutes to read, let alone post on the PT (thanks to that pesky 'job' thing I have to do), and your retelling clarifies it all for me very well!   I even got a mention as 'JAMMY PANTS'---  thank you!  My seasonal job will be winding down, so hopefully I'll be able to assume a more active PANTS-life on the thread.  Who knows, I may need to reprise my role as the SPIT IN ENNIS'S HAND!  ;D  Wheee, dawgies!  I'm very much loving the direction the PT has taken during its existence--  it has a life of its own, meandering, bouncing around, red-lining forward, stopping to savor some sun or Wyoming wind......   surprising us with new characters (Guy, Terry, Owlma...  JBB and all the others) and rewarding us with true-to-story/film portrayals of our heroes in their all-important scenes of love and lust.  What a glorious thing our Performance Thread has become, thanks to ALL those who have participated and added their unique offerings.  Mr. Ray-mille certainly propelled the performance forward, with the help of the magnificent, sweetest pea in the pod, Ellemeno, and the driving force and capable hands of JakeTwist (Jane).  I hope we never forget that the whole concept of this thread was the idea of our very own PEEING SHEEP, Becky---  Becky, look what you've done!   :laugh:

Anyway, I'm just sayin'.......   Thanks!

Melinda/PANTS
"From the vibration of the floorboard on which they both stood Ennis could feel how hard Jack was shaking."

Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE~~ Critics Gallery
« Reply #377 on: October 28, 2006, 04:24:50 pm »
Chapter Three:

Along about page 168, Terry Cloth gives us an update of the subplots, which helps revive a few buried audience members:
http://bettermost.net/forum/index.php?topic=2739.msg87512#msg87512

Ennis, handin out hay to the heifers, doesn't know it but apparently he has come down with a case of crabs. The cows are all perky and, to celebrate 2,500 posts, do an udderly fabulous dance. They also send a moo-gram to Jack that somehow gets garbled. Guy and Lucise have a lovely dinner at a Bavarian restaurant, and Lucise proposes in a unique way. The audience goes crazy at the prospect of another wedding. But before that can happen, there are high jinks on the set. What's goin on, Heath is getting it on with Jack and then sneaking off to Michelle's trailer! Jack, leaving the trailer, finds JBB lying in the grass!

Mel Gibson shows up to steal Guy away, but he would have none of it. At last their love is consumated around #2600-2700 with so much passion that Lucise's trailer bursts into flames. The bull wakes up, hears the moogram, and crashes thru several china shops. Monroe, Lucas, and assorted divas prepare for the weddins of Lucise, Guy, Lureen, and Jack. Jack writes a postcard for JBB to send to Terry Cloth that makes him think of his lost love and the entire cast and audience are inconsolable until the rodeo clowns show up.

The high preistess shows Jack what Ennis's miserable life is like up in Riverton. Meanwhile, Monroe tells Ennis that Alma is in the condoms aisle, er the consumates consomme aisle, and the cows try desperately to reach Ennis thru a bullboard. When the peanuts fall, Monroe realizes quel horreur that Ennis is an Arachibutyrophobe! There is much to-do to get ready for the weddings, now that the Queen is coming!! The Eagles griped about Mika the mule's song, but it set the tone for what was to follow...L.D. and Fayette readied themselves as the sun came out. Mika sings another great song with the mikette's that makes Cowl Porter applaud and the Broken Arsed Orchestra plays Ride of the Valkyries in lieu of the bridal march.

In Jack's pocket, the lonely JBB sings the Warshrag's Lament: http://bettermost.net/forum/index.php?topic=2739.msg97660#msg97660
Then, producer's assistant Laurel Sparta shows up to get everybody back on schedule, but they're waiting for Lucise and Guy to get hitched. Since it appear that Guy's goin to be in the tub until the 12th of never, Jack sends his post card to Ennis at post #2996. With new cast members Leslie and Geri, the set swings back into life. Terry Cloth gets Ennis to help send a post card back to JBB saying "You wet!" Just as Jack appears for the reunion scene, Burp Bert and Ernie get together to the chagrin of Miss Piggy!



« Last Edit: October 28, 2006, 05:22:08 pm by Front-Ranger »
"chewing gum and duct tape"

Offline Front-Ranger

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE~~ Critics Gallery
« Reply #378 on: October 28, 2006, 06:08:30 pm »
Chapter Four:

Hurrah, it's the reunion! Not just Jack and Ennis, but also Terry Cloth and JBB are back together once again! Across the street, the Cauk Brothers cackle about the goings-on, inspiring a punfest by one and owl. Keys turn, tumblers tumble, and lightning flashes, and the high priestess pronounces it good ('cept for the puns).  Over in Room 24 of the Siesta Motel, the mattress, box springs, sheets, and pillowcase are tryin to recover from a nite of jouncing, while in the laundromat, JBB is lying, still half-tubescent, in the cradling folds of Terry Cloth. Meanwhile Uncle Harold is thinkin back 20 years to when he and Joe Aguirre had it all before them, and Alma is in a daze after fishin a funny cigarette out of Ennis's pocket. JBB has a proposition for Terry at http://bettermost.net/forum/index.php?topic=2739.msg102998#msg102998 but he rejects it cause he's caught in his own loop. Alma's fairy godfather appears with the news that Monroe loves her, along with all his own problems, and Dame Edna gives her a scholarship to finishing school. The mob audience clamours for more love scenes, but they are pacified by cider and donuts in the Green Room as everyone prepares for Halloween. And now, on with the show!!
"chewing gum and duct tape"

Offline welliwont

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Re: ~~THE PERFORMANCE~~ Critics Gallery
« Reply #379 on: October 28, 2006, 06:11:12 pm »
Welcome to the BetterMost Chez Tremblay Performance of

Broken Arsed Mountain

The majority of the canonical parts have been filled, and the rest will be filled as we get closer to the time (the ones in blue).

CAST & CREW CREDITS (in Order of Appearance)
Available parts listed in blue.  No auditions required.  You can notify JakeTwist by PM to be added to the cast & crew list.

Director Twist - Jane (JakeTwist)
Raymille's Sycophantic Assistant - Clarissa (Ellemeno)
Casting Director – Jane
Props Magician - Anke (Pipedream)
Sheep Wrangler - Milli (Lucise Indapaddock)
Production Psychologists - Statler & Waldorf
Script Girl  - Mandy (littleguitar)
Continuity Director - Jane
Blades of Grass - Ray
The Wind - Clarissa
Cat Stevens - Himself
Semi-Truck Driver - Melinda (Sashca1007)
High Priestess - Meryl
Ceremonial Feng Shui Director - Celeste (YaadPyar)
Young Ennis - DeeDee
Young Jack - Leslie (coffeecat33)
Jack's Pants - Melinda
The Ledge - Ray
The Train - Courtney (cmr107)
Jack's Cigarette - Barb
Aguirre – Lee (Front-Ranger)
Tootie – Courtney
Elizabeth - Chantelle (FuzzyChanny)
Ballet Interlude Queen - Victoria
Waitress - Judy
The Basque - RouxB
Cigar Butt - Melinda
Horse With Low Startle Point – Jenny (newyearsday)
Sheep Dog (Blue Heeler) - Leslie (MaineWriter)
Mika, The Musical Dumbass Mule - Mikaela
Dumbass Mule #27 - David (TheStudDuck!)
Peeing Sheep - Becky
The Fly – Barb
The Moon - Amanda (atz75)
The Sun - Amanda (atz75)
Owl Olivia - Anke
Owl Oscar - Anke
Owl Olli - Anke
Jiminy Cricket - Ray
Terry Cloth, Ennis's Warsh Rag - Alec (alec716)
The Bear – Scott M. (moremojo)
Young Whiskey Bottle - Eric
The Elk - Becky
The Harmonica - RouxB
Jack's Body Butter - Nicky (SaucyCobblers)
e-Bay Trader - ?
Ennis's Stick During Water Walkin' Jesus - Barbara (goadra)
The Spit In Ennis's Hand - Melinda
In-Genius Coyote - Louise
Guy Raphaelson (Marketing Advisor) - Daniel
Chilean Sheepherder #1 – Lee
Chilean Sheepherder #2 - Lynne
The Hailstone That Lands In Ennis's Hat - JennyC
The Disappearing Log - Courtney
Snow - Mel (nakymaton)
The Rearview Mirror On Jack's Truck - Nipith (starboardlight)
Alma - Geri (Arad-3)
The Jolly Minister (Ennis & Alma’s wedding) - Isabelle
Juniper, The Wedding Planner (Terry Cloth & Owlma’s wedding) – Milli (Lucise)
The Toboggan - Courtney
Timmy - Meryl
The Bull - Mel
Jimbo - Scott M.
Bartender in Jimbo scene - j. U. d. E.
Announcer in Jimbo scene - Michael Jackson
Michael Jackson - Natali (Opinionista) & Alec
Bimbo, Jimbo's Lady - DeeDee
Ennis' Perky-print Jammy Bottoms - Melinda
Vicks VapoRub - Alec
Biker #1 - Mel
Biker #2 - Meryl
Monroe – Mikaela
Announcer In Lureen Barrel Racing Scene - Cher
Cher - Alec
Lureen - shared by DeeDee & Daniel
Sleepy The Narcoleptic Bull - Mel
Bartender In Lureen Scene -
Cher’s Pasties – DeeDee
Random Heifer #1 - Daniel
Random Heifer #2 - Daniel
Singer – Sarah (henrypie)
Alma Jr. -
Jenny -
Poor Bobby – RouxB
Fayette Newsome - Barbara
L.D. Newsome – Kelda_Shelton
Laurel Sparta - Daniel
Cauk Brothers - Geri
Best Boy - Lee
Assistant To The 2nd Unit Assistant Director - Leslie
K.E. Del Mar -
Clear Slick - Lee
Phantom of the Film - Daniel
Farmer #1 (“pissant”) – Lee
Farmer #2 -
Divorce Judge -
Jack's Lower Lip When He Does That Tongue Thing - Lynne
Mexican Prostitute - Meryl
Older Jack - Leslie
Older Ennis - DeeDee
Older Alma - Geri
Older Lureen - shared by DeeDee & Daniel
Cassie – Kelda
Western Dancer -
LaShawn Malone – Stacey (sparkle_motion)
Randall Malone - Juan (JcinNYC2006)
Carl -
Jack's Mother - Celeste
Old Man Twist - Jane
Jack's boyhood bedroom window - RouxB
The Hanger - Eric

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Our Fabulous Former Cast Members
They took the part, and for a brief time, made it their own


Ennis, jumping out of truck in Signal - Brandon (who introduced the infamous apple)
Jack - Courtney
Ennis, looking up at Jack from the river, meeting the Basque, chasing the mules, the made-up shooting lesson, finding the bananas, and the first attempt at cooking them - Courtney
Aguirre – David
Alma – first Lee, then Milli
Producer - Chris (cHrIs sLaYeRs)
Casting Director - Clarissa
Young Ennis - DeeDee
Lureen - Ray
Mr. Raymille, Our Director and Founder - Ray
Ennis - Louise
Alma Jr. - Becky
Jenny - Courtney
« Last Edit: December 03, 2006, 01:29:52 pm by JakeTwist »
Then the clouds opened up and God said, "I hate you, Alfafa."