Author Topic: BetterMost member LoneLeeB3 has passed away. Our grieving thread.  (Read 85671 times)

Offline Berit

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Re: BetterMost member LoneLeeB3 passes away.
« Reply #310 on: August 01, 2010, 04:19:13 pm »

I think Rich would want us to tell our stories about him.


I think telling stories is a part of handling the greif. It is important and good and nice and sad, all at the same time

20 years ago, on July 2, I found my dad dead  in the bathrom. It looked just like his candle had been blown out. Of course it was a big shock even though I knew he had a heart problem. In the late evening we sat, mom,me and my husband Esbj÷rn and looked at old photos, told stories, laughed and cried, drank large quantities of tea. It was an important evening for us. We started to take the whole tragedy in, we started to grief. My dad was in a sence present that evening.

So, let us talk about Rich, let us tell stories. In that way he will somehow be presant. But....I so wish he was really presant.......
Ennis.....always Ennis.....

Offline Lynne

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Re: BetterMost member LoneLeeB3 passes away.
« Reply #311 on: August 01, 2010, 04:28:30 pm »
Yeah, we were headed to the airport in Gene's vehicle that Rich had got caught on a sassafrass tree in my driveway and busted a side mirror, and we were laughing and carrying on about this great, totally believable joke we could play on you and you all were like unable to find one another, if the Greensboro airport of all places. You could not loose someone there if you wanted too!

Greensboro - When I was telling Ronny about it, I couldn't remember what airport - I keep confusing Greensboro and Greenville or something.  Yes, we've navigated Boston Logan, so getting lost there would be pretty impossible.


I think Rich would want us to tell our stories about him.


I think telling stories is a part of handling the greif. It is important and good and nice and sad, all at the same time

20 years ago, on July 2, I found my dad dead  in the bathrom. It looked just like his candle had been blown out. Of course it was a big shock even though I knew he had a heart problem. In the late evening we sat, mom,me and my husband Esbj÷rn and looked at old photos, told stories, laughed and cried, drank large quantities of tea. It was an important evening for us. We started to take the whole tragedy in, we started to grief. My dad was in a sence present that evening.

So, let us talk about Rich, let us tell stories. In that way he will somehow be presant. But....I so wish he was really presant.......

Berit - I hate that I found your father that way, but I think you are right about the talking and stories being a good way to handle grief.  Even the laughter, which seems inappropriate or disrespectful, is a release.

And I also think that our loved ones are there with us though of course I can't explain it - there's a presence.  I still dream about my grandmother at important times and can even smell her.  I don't doubt Gene for a minute that Rich came to him last night.  And I'm sure your dad was there too.

As we were talking - can it be just yesterday? - that as long as you are remembered - you have life.

Thank you for being here.  {{{{{Berit}}}}}

"La▀ sein. La▀ sein."

Offline CellarDweller

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Re: BetterMost member LoneLeeB3 passes away.
« Reply #312 on: August 01, 2010, 04:30:04 pm »
Rich and I often called each other "Country Mouse" and "City Mouse".  He would always kid me about being "city" and not knowing about farm and country life.

One of the times I went to visit Rich & Gene, we were out on a drive.  Rich and Gene in the front seats, and me in the back.

As we were driving around, we passed a large hill on the left.  It had a bunch of cows on it, grazing, and this conversation happens:

Rich:  "Chuck, you see those cows there?"

Chuck:  "Yeah"

Rich:  "Those are Mountain Cows.  They're specially bred to have the legs on one side shorter than the legs on the other, so they can stand on the hill and be level when they eat the grass."

Chuck:  *Looks, tilts head to the side*   "Ummmm....but when they turn around, don't they flop over?"  ???

Rich & Gene:   :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Gene:  Chuck buddy, I was watching you in the mirror, and I could see the gears turning in your head while you were thinking about that.


Tell him when l come up to him and ask to play the record, l'm gonna say: ''Voulez-vous jouer ce disque?''
'Voulez-vous, will you kiss my dick?'
Will you play my record? One-track mind!

Offline Kelda

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Re: BetterMost member LoneLeeB3 passes away.
« Reply #313 on: August 01, 2010, 04:34:40 pm »
I was just looking over some old PM's which made me cry and laugh all at the same time.

He was such a great guy. So appreciative of tiny little things, so complementary.

I have a bundle of PM's starting "Hi beautiful" and thanking me for encouraging him that kids can be just fine in split-parent families.

I saw one there where he tells me about the Jam he sent me.. all wraped up in a brown box with christmas trees drawn all over it in a black marker pen!

It was using a fruit I hadn't heard of.... Georgia Muscadines right off the vine. And he had said:

Quote
I sent some to Chrissi too but only you guys. I hope no one else gets jealous! LOL

There was PMs back from 2007 when it was Bizzy's birthday party and we were reciting High School Musical lyrics to each other via PM. He was so cute, so excited to make the party best ever.
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Offline jstephens9

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Re: BetterMost member LoneLeeB3 passes away.
« Reply #314 on: August 01, 2010, 04:37:21 pm »
That's hilarious Chuck!!! I can almost see the look on your face  :) I do like the part where you wonder what happens when they turn the other way around  ;)

Offline Shasta542

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Re: BetterMost member LoneLeeB3 passes away.
« Reply #315 on: August 01, 2010, 04:54:36 pm »
I was just looking over some old PM's which made me cry and laugh all at the same time.
He was such a great guy. So appreciative of tiny little things, so complementary.
I have a bundle of PM's starting "Hi beautiful" and thanking me for encouraging him that kids can be just fine in split-parent families.
I saw one there where he tells me about the Jam he sent me.. all wraped up in a brown box with christmas trees drawn all over it in a black marker pen!
It was using a fruit I hadn't heard of.... Georgia Muscadines right off the vine. And he had said:
There was PMs back from 2007 when it was Bizzy's birthday party and we were reciting High School Musical lyrics to each other via PM. He was so cute, so excited to make the party best ever.

{{{{{{{KELDA}}}}}}} I've been doing the same thing--looking at old PM's from Rich. He always had something sweet to say, didn't he?
"Gettin' tired of your dumbass missin'!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Offline Penthesilea

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Re: BetterMost member LoneLeeB3 passes away.
« Reply #316 on: August 01, 2010, 05:03:37 pm »
I was just looking over some old PM's which made me cry and laugh all at the same time.

I will do the same at some point in the next few days.
Today I was rereading Rich's and my short PM exchange from only three days ago, 7/29/10.
Then I realized for the first time, that FB has an "unread messages" function, and it said I had six undread ones. One was from Rich, but all six were not really unread. I don't know why FB decides to make the goof-ups it does.

Quote
I saw one there where he tells me about the Jam he sent me.. all wraped up in a brown box with christmas trees drawn all over it in a black marker pen!

It was using a fruit I hadn't heard of.... Georgia Muscadines right off the vine. And he had said:



I also hadn't heard of muscadine and looked it up on wikipedia, back then. The jam is long eaten, my husband threw away the glass because it had such a strange lid (I always had to use a knife to get it open). But believe it or not: I still have the box Rich sent the jam in. I'm such a sentimental fool sometimes. Mine is also decorated with the black marker pen.

Offline Kelda

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Re: BetterMost member LoneLeeB3 passes away.
« Reply #317 on: August 01, 2010, 05:19:28 pm »
Chrissi...

I also kept the box up until a few weeks ago when I threw it out in our big moving house clear out. I'm kicking myself now.

I still have the jam jar though - also packed a few weeks ago with other kitchen stuff - as it was a funky marbled glass jar, but you're right about the lid, it was difficult to open.

Shasta ...

Yes, he always did.
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Offline Penthesilea

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Re: BetterMost member LoneLeeB3 passes away.
« Reply #318 on: August 01, 2010, 05:24:00 pm »
Chrissi...

I also kept the box up until a few weeks ago when I threw it out in our big moving house clear out. I'm kicking myself now.

I still have the jam jar though - also packed a few weeks ago with other kitchen stuff - as it was a funky marbled glass jar, but you're right about the lid, it was difficult to open.

Shasta ...

Yes, he always did.

Yes, the glass was pretty, I liked it also. I would have kept it and used for something different. But hubby was quicker.

Offline Ellemeno

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Re: BetterMost member LoneLeeB3 passes away.
« Reply #319 on: August 01, 2010, 05:40:31 pm »
I know that Rich would not want me kicking myself about this - but he sent me a Christmas card, I think maybe for the past two years, and I never answered.  I'm not very Christmas card-functional.  Actually, several of you have, and I'm very sorry I didn't thank you.