Author Topic: Privacy feature  (Read 14889 times)

Offline newyearsday

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Re: Privacy feature
« Reply #20 on: April 04, 2006, 11:04:23 pm »
Can someone clue me in??? what is so naughty about Nitpic saying she loves Paul's spunk!? I'm clueless!

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Offline nicpic64

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Re: Privacy feature
« Reply #21 on: April 04, 2006, 11:07:24 pm »
Hello Newyearsday,

I will PM you the answer.  It is not appropriate for this forum.

signed,
nicpic64

dmmb_Mandy

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Re: Privacy feature
« Reply #22 on: April 04, 2006, 11:08:23 pm »
I'm kinda clueless too, PM me too Nicpic, I guess she just took it as meaning something sexual?

Offline newyearsday

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Re: Privacy feature
« Reply #23 on: April 04, 2006, 11:08:52 pm »

This is a great forum for open and honest discussion.  Anger, frustration, drama, tears, love and laughter make it what it is.  Don't ever allow it to become any less.

I appreciate frank and open discussions about issues, but I don't want to see that reduced to personal attacks.  I've had lots of experience administering message forums, and I can tell you that when people stop discussing issues and start attacking each other personally, civility falls completely apart and a forum created as a place for friendship and support rapidly descends into chaos.

I don't believe in heavy-handed moderation, but I want people to understand there are some reasonable limits.  All of the things you mentioned are being important for frank and open discussion can be managed without tearing down fellow users.  It's very important that we can all be there for one another.

Getting back to the original point of this post thread, and in response to the above from Phillip, I would like to just say that anger and frustration (and maybe even a little drama) can all happen without descending into personal attacks on a board such as this. It's a reeaaallly important point to make. We don't have to censor our anger just because we have a guideline here to refrain from personal attacks. It's about owning our feelings and not witholding them. But not blaming them on other people, or trying to personally tear someone else down in an effort to make ourselves feel better, bigger, etc. It;s something we need a lot of practice to be good at, but just so you know, it can be done, and it's a beautiful thing to behold someone effectively expressing and owning all their feelings without taking someone else down in the process. Words to chew on.....
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Offline newyearsday

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Re: Privacy feature
« Reply #24 on: April 04, 2006, 11:10:47 pm »
Oh, Mary mother of God!  Did I actually write that on a BBM board?  You'd think I would know better!  But then again, I vaccum in the raw wearing Jake's hat so... heh, I'm Calgarian!  YEEHA! Ride 'em cowboy!!!

Now, this I gotta confirm--you have Jake's cowboy hat?!! oooohhhh the jealousy just jumped a few notches....

I'd do that with it too if I were you! And I bet Jack Twist would approve. :)
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dmmb_Mandy

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Re: Privacy feature
« Reply #25 on: April 04, 2006, 11:20:30 pm »
Quote
Getting back to the original point of this post thread, and in response to the above from Phillip, I would like to just say that anger and frustration (and maybe even a little drama) can all happen without descending into personal attacks on a board such as this. It's a reeaaallly important point to make. We don't have to censor our anger just because we have a guideline here to refrain from personal attacks. It's about owning our feelings and not witholding them. But not blaming them on other people, or trying to personally tear someone else down in an effort to make ourselves feel better, bigger, etc. It;s something we need a lot of practice to be good at, but just so you know, it can be done, and it's a beautiful thing to behold someone effectively expressing and owning all their feelings without taking someone else down in the process. Words to chew on.....

Well said Jenny hun.

Offline Ellemeno

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Re: Privacy feature
« Reply #26 on: April 04, 2006, 11:27:34 pm »
Spunk can also mean jism.

And that's my final word on this topic. :angel:

vkm91941

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Re: Privacy feature
« Reply #27 on: April 04, 2006, 11:28:18 pm »
OMg...and Chris and Mandy say I'm the one who starts all the sex talk you guys!!! >:D ROFLOL
« Last Edit: April 05, 2006, 01:10:50 am by vkm91941 »

Offline JCinNYC2006

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Re: Privacy feature
« Reply #28 on: April 05, 2006, 01:05:36 am »
I've been posting on Bettermost for just a couple of months, and I'm a total newbie to the Tremblayer group.  So as something of an outsider it's hard to know how to respond.  At the same time, it does give me some distance with which to comment.

<snip>I think David has a point, a very strong point.  The freedom to post in privacy is a feature some people would prefer.  I for one.  If I could have figured out how to work the thing, I would have posted only incognito, for my own reasons, the first being I happen to live with the board's namesake.

What surprised me most though, was the apathy with which I heard so many say they "couldn't care either way".   David is talking about the right to privacy on a public forum.  This is not small potatoes.  I know most of you are big L liberals and that is why the reaction surprised me so much.  Maybe the fact I am Canadian has something to do with the fact that the removal of this personal freedom (yeah, yeah, it's only a privacy function on a fun movie forum)  is for me not a small thing.   The acceptance of phone tapping, surveillance cameras, and other blatant abuses of our rights and freedoms in the guise of our protection from terror is frightening.  David has every right to be dramatic and maybe it's time people become a hell of a lot more dramatic in the light of this Brave New World we are shaping.

On one level, it's a technical issue as much as a privacy issue.  Some, maybe many, posters have no clue how to post while invisible, and might not understand why someone would do that.  You gave a good example of why you might.  Basically it comes down to keeping one's identity private.  Given the stress that so many Tremblayers have experienced from trolls on other boards who used that kind of anonymity to be destructive, I can understand why there would be apprehension about the same thing happening here.  I know I stopped reading and posting on IMDb for the same reason.

Most people have the utmost faith in Phillip to be able to deal with people who use the hidden feature abusively.  Hopefully there won't be much need for him to even have to deal with trolls.  On another level, though, it seems like there's other stuff brewing within the Tremplay group, and resulting from their move to Bettermost.  (I'm a social worker so I sometimes look at stuff like that from the perspective of group dynamics).

Studduck's post does have good points about the need to not further, or voluntarily restrict privacy "for the larger good".  I can get that, and you reiterated it well.  But his announcement was also in the form of a kind of 'kiss off', and it followed closely after a similar thread from someone else...Stud?  No, Surf.  Both threads seemed to be kind of hostile, and probably had stuff carrying over from TOB (someone had to explain to me what that acronym means!) 

So it's not just about privacy issues.  Groups that are uprooted and then find themselves becoming part of a larger group go through that kind of transition, and unfortunately sometimes it's too much for some in the group.  To me, some of these growing pains are normal for what they're going through.  That's my .02 cents, with interest.

I find this to be a pretty great group of people: supportive, funny, thoughtful, passionate, and, as evident from the 'what-do-we-look-like' thread, sexy.  I find it all very exciting, spunk talk included, LOL, and hope to get to know folks even more.

Juan
What is essential, is invisible to the eye....

Offline montferrat

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Re: Privacy feature
« Reply #29 on: April 05, 2006, 01:14:53 am »
Juan,

Thank you for this very insightful post.  You obviously put a lot of thought into it and it shows. I think you've hit many nails on the head in your message.  I also spit my juice out at the "spunk"!

I am curious, in your position as a BetterMost regular, as to how we can encourage other folks to post here as well?
I know that a few of us have been trying to encourage other Tremblayans to participate in the other boards on this site and feel really self conscious about what I percieve as a lack of integration.  Any suggestions?  I do think the onus is on us, as the newcomers, to make an effort to visit AND participate in the rest of this site.

By the way...I sent you a PM!

Once again, Juan, thank you for your really intelligent and IMHO, meaningful post.

Paul

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