Shakesthegrounds Rumblings

[Scott6373]

I know what you mean Scott, when we buried my sister, my mother wanted me to get up and read somethign she wrote from the pulpit. We filed in and I sat there looking at her picture on the alter and was terrified, how the hell was I going to do this? Well, I just did. Time came and I got up there and relaxed and it was the most natural thing in the world.

People just assume that singing is too emotional an expression for someone to do for a loved one's funeral.  I do have to admit, that at my brothers funeral, I questioned if I could or not.

[Shakesthecoffecan]

Those are the hardest ones I think. And I think since Brokeback I am so much more emotional. I cry at the drop of a hat. Recently I was trying to tell someone about going to that Spiritualist Church and they asked if I were to go back and ask a direct question whoat would it be. I had to write it down because I couldn;t get it out.

[Scott6373]

Those are the hardest ones I think. And I think since Brokeback I am so much more emotional. I cry at the drop of a hat. Recently I was trying to tell someone about going to that Spiritualist Church and they asked if I were to go back and ask a direct question whoat would it be. I had to write it down because I couldn;t get it out.

Then I won't ask.

[Jeff Wrangler]

Well Jeff you had to do what you had to do at the time, I donlt thinks she would have wanted you all falling apart at her funeral, and the words were read. You still ave the song, you can sing it everyday and be connected to her.
And I am sure your father shared in the decision.

Thanks.

The decision was mine. Dad was a total wreck. I was the one who piped up and told the pastor just to read it. The gutless feeling comes in was because I just could not deal with my father's falling apart.

[Shakesthecoffecan]

You looked after your father and his best interests, that is not gutless at all. That is courageous.

[moremojo]

I thought it was bad enough to be compelled to act as pallbearer (I know that that's supposed to be an honor, but I've been asked to do it three times now, the first time for a great-aunt, next for for my paternal grandmother, and most recently for my aunt, and it's a burden, both physically and emotionally [sorry if that sounds unfeeling, but it's the truth]), but being asked to sing or recite a text at a loved one's funeral would be inestimably more difficult.

I intend to have a very simple funeral, having myself cremated and put into the ground with a minimum of ceremony, with formal dress and rites completely optional to those attending.

[southendmd]

My family asked me to speak at my Dad's funeral.  I'm not much of a public speaker, so I kept it brief.  It was very difficult, but I'm glad I did it.  I remember seeing my family in the first row rooting for me. 

I think I would have regrets if I had chosen not to.

[Shakesthecoffecan]

I intend to have a very simple funeral, having myself cremated and put into the ground with a minimum of ceremony, with formal dress and rites completely optional to those attending.

I want to be buried with no fanfare asap after I die, and later if folks want to have a memorial service they can do whatever they like.

[Scott6373]

Not me...I want the whole damn rigmarole...professional mourners...waling and gnashing of teeth...good food and booze of course...and...I wanna be there lookin' good.  New Wranglers, nice shirt, my black cowboy hat, eyes open, sitting up..making sure everyone is behaving...

[Shakesthecoffecan]

eyes open,

You had me until THAT part.