It never ceases to amaze me, that all of us on these boards are experiencing the same things at one time or another.
After i saw the movie for the first time in march, i needed to talk about it, and because none of my friends had seen it, i too felt isolated...until i found a message board.
Then i wanted so badly for my family and friends to see it, because i thought they would feel exactly the way I did...Of course that wasnt what happened...my husband and sons "liked" it, and understood why it affected me so much, because of the parallels with my real life experience....some of my friends just thought it was another movie, only my sister in law felt a similar thing to me, so at least i had one person here i could talk to about it, share video clips, fan fiction, and stories on the message board.
I too, dont talk about it much now, with my friends, i think i have "bored" them enough, and I know they just dont understand.None of them would have any idea how much time i spend thinking about the movie, or time i spend on message boards or chatting to other "brokeback fever" sufferers.I do it, without fanfare or discussion with them, and sometimes a little guilt that i am neglecting things i need to do in my real life.
I guess i feel safe here with my internet friends, all non judgemental about me, or my obsession, all feeling exactly the same way as i do, experiencing the same things all the time.
Sometimes i say, I gotta get over it, get back to what my life was involved with, before i saw the movie, but I know i cant, or i dont want to...Would be like ignoring my best friend, like ignoring the feelings and emotions, like ignoring the things that have become so special in my life....My appetite for Brokeback is insatiable, and I need to feed it constantly, and damn, why should i make excuses for that...I know i am not alone, and i know that the people who share it with me are some of the nicest people i have ever met.....
