September 23rd (9:00 a.m.) by Toycoon
Attempts at marital bliss only made Ennis more withdrawn and nervous: he thought about having a beer but it seemed too early in the day to have a drink.
Ennis decided instead to have a cigarette and that helped to calm his nerves somewhat. Alma asked Ennis to smoke outside while she nursed little Jenny and he obliged willingly.
The Delmar's tiny apartment seemed especially confining the more Ennis thought about the liberty of Brokeback Mountain; Ennis shuddered and flicking his cigarette across the parking lot, he worried that the secrets he and his first lover, Jack, shared long ago could possibly show on his face.
Wonderful contrast Toycoon, as Gary alludes to as well - so many contrasting themes - much more is going on than just suppressed passion! You helped us to refocus on the natural elements that are often overlooked, but so very important, i.e., Brokeback=expansive, freedom, expression of true self; Riverton=small town; "tiny apartment"; living a false life.
Interesting as you posted once before that Ennis' anxiety about Jack creates so many false beliefs, such as others being able to see into his mind and know what he is thinking about! LOL I sure wish we could've "seen" into his mind just prior to the reunion!