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Dealing With Aging Parents
ZK:
My Mum turned 80 this year and for the last two years shes been in a nursing home. After breaking her hip at home and having several turns, she became increasingly unsafe in her own home. Despite her Doctors recommendation she did not want to leave the her home of 45 plus years, so my middle brother and I were visiting her four times a day, to ensure her morning meds were taken, we got her dressed, then lunch, dinner and eventually tucked her in at night. After 3 months my brother and I were worn out, she was also became unsafe and clearly a danger to herself. It broke our hearts to sit down and explain the need for her to go into care. The first rest home was a bit of a disaster, the second one we moved her to was a new facility and was able to give her the care she needed. After a couple of months she had settled in. She is happy as larry there. The nurses dote on her, they pop in to say hi, and tell her all their problems. Al the nurses know my life history!! oh the embarrassment. In short the reality was for us, that neither my middle brother nor I could look after Mum, and although we were apprehensive about nursing home care, we had little choice in the sense were unable to provide the level of care she needed. What we did have was a choice in the place where Mum was to stay, it took us some time to find somewhere where the physical care could be provided and a caring environment(you know some of the nurses even give Mum a hug and a kiss on the cheek at night). Mum no longer wants to be at home, shes happy and content where she is
injest:
thank you ZK. I know nursing homes have a bad reputation but sometimes the alternative is worse. WAY worse. Some people just can't be caregivers.
There is a lady at my job that is over sixty, her motherinlaw lived to be over a hundred and this lady refused to allow her to go to a nursing home. Instead she came in everyday, shaking having been up all night....she would be on the phone with the old woman screaming at her at the top of her lungs. Talk about how she wished the old woman would die so she could be free. The old woman wandered outside at night, setting off the alarms and sometimes falling down the steps...
I think about that old woman...how sad her last years were, even though she was 'at home'. The last time she fell, they had to put her in a nursing home for therapy. The woman begged them not to take her home. She wanted to stay with there....she went out to dinner with a group, she got her hair done...there was an old man that flirted with her.
and the woman I worked with was much more relaxed and talked about enjoying visiting her there.
If only they had done it years earlier...
Kelda:
--- Quote from: ZK on January 18, 2008, 06:40:07 am ---Mum no longer wants to be at home, shes happy and content where she is
--- End quote ---
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Artiste:
I need help here too, like all of you maybe!!
My mother is in her 80's!
And I am no spring chicken! Maybe I am a parent!
Hugs!
Artiste:
I sure would like to know more about how to deal with an aging parents!!
Any help?
Au revoir,
hugs!
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