crayons, my dad had ALZ as well. Actually, it was the cascase of physical problems and, eventually, an anaphylactic reaction to an antibiotic that caused his death a year ago, but the ALZ was the underlying culprit. Anyway....Yes, it's hard to deal with someone who forgets what you say right after you've said it. After a while, you just learn to tell yourself that it's an illness, it's nothing personal, don't take it to heart. I know--that's easier said than done. My dad sort of recognized me as a relative but did not know my name. That was really hard.
In a way, it was sort of good that he didn't really know he was in a SNF. He thought he was at home. He'd point to the corner and tell me to lock up the car, take care of the house, pay the bills, etc. I'd say I would, and then he'd be happy. The nursing staff said it was just fine to let him have his happy delusion and go along with it.
My mom and I had looked after him at home as long as we could, but I gotta tell you folks: you can't do that 24/7. No one can-- unless they don't work, have no other obligations, and can afford to hire private nurses around the clock. Actually, it was the illnesses that put him in the hospital and then the SNF, so the decision was sort of made for us.
I recommend the book How to care for aging parents . I found it quite valuable as a source of comfort and info and resources.
Mom, on the other hand, is 81, in pretty good health, very sharp, and says she wants to go another 80 years. What a youngster. She regularly does crosswords, reads voraciously, does email and computer games, and goes on bus trips here and there, usually with her Red Hat pals.