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Dealing with young Kids & teenagers (A thread not just for parents!)
David In Indy:
I don't have any kids. I have a dog though, and occasionally he acts like a child. He does naughty things and every once in awhile I'm tempted to swat his ass with a roll of newspaper. But I don't do it. I've never hit my dog thus far. Yell at him, yes. Hit him, no. I believe hitting and paddling accomplish NOTHING.
Back when I was a child, it was a common custom to hit children, and I got my fair share of swattings. My mother used to wash my mouth out with soap too if I was caught lying or saying a swear word. When I was around 10, they developed liquid hand soap and my mother used that on me. She'd rub the roof of my mouth with the soap so I couldn't get it out. That was a strange custom wasn't it? And it didn't work either. I still swear like a drunken sailor.
As long as a child KNOWS his or her parent is truly displeased with him or her, he or she will remember this. A child naturally wants to please his or her parents. The show of displeasure is sufficient punishment in my opinion. :)
David In Indy:
Oh, and I do believe in time outs for naughty behavior. And even canning them to their rooms for the day if necessary. But never swatting. :)
Kelda:
Do people use the super nanny trick of time outs? I have tried it with my nieces and they just get obnoxious! which makes me get angrier!
mvansand76:
A few months ago my boyfriend and I started taking our 16 year old neighbour kid under our wings. I think it's interesting to see how a 16 year old thinks, and we try to talk to him a lot about school, dating and social issues. When he says something denegrating about a woman, I usually confront him with it and ask him why he said it. He talks to us about school and the things he wants to do after he finishes it. Jan-Willem is giving him interesting books to read (and he never ever read a book for fun before he met us! :)) and I even convinced him to watch BBM when he made a nasty remark about homosexuality. He hasn't watched it yet, but he knows how much I talk about it, so he will someday, I just know it! :D
ifyoucantfixit:
Kelda my experience has been it works best, if its not used every time. Mix it up with other types of punishments. If its the only one used they seem to lose the unique feel for it. Then they just get obstinate about it. Sitting in a certain place one time, going to their room another, or made to do some kind of giving up of a special treat they have been counting on. Mix it up.
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