Our BetterMost Community > Chez Tremblay
Am I the only person...
starboardlight:
what really bothers me are people who can't muster the compassion for the characters. they focus on the "cheating" as reasons to hate the characters and are unwilling to dig deeper into the why of it. I admit, by their actions the men are not saints. but to me they're men, who are in more pain than most men will have to deal with. I don't excuse the bad choices, but I understand. I will even go as far as saying that I'm not much stronger and would have made those same bad decisions were I in their shoes, with as little resources to show me that things could be different. As a matter of fact, were it not for one fluke of a moment of clarity, I might be unhappily married with kids today. I get frustrated that people refuse to see that society does play a part in this tragedy. I get frustrated when people say that the men didn't have to get married, when I know full well that the pressure to get married can be overwhelming. I get angry that people refuse to admit that the things that happened to us as children do play a part in determining the course of our lives.
RouxB:
I've been sitting here debating-to post or not to post. Because I'm feeling...kinda...censored I guess is a good way to put it. I love this movie. I've seen it many many times. It hit me about as hard as anything in my life has. I value my own opinions-and my judgement. I've read the story, read the reviews, seen and heard the interviews. AND I refuse to be that certain about anything that was not absolutely spelled out. I don't agree (or even disagree) with some of the interpretations that some people are so sure about-and that is based on my own life experience and nothing more.
I have loved two women in my life. One was completely non-sexual (no desire there at all) but I loved her like crazy-and for many years. The other was more of an "in love" thing and definitely with a sexual attraction-which I tried to act on. I identify as a straight but because of my history I leave some room with that. Do I think I'm in denial about my sexuality-not at all. Does that mean there is no room for me to be wrong-no but...
Maybe those who have those wacky interpretations (and I believe there are some-don't get me wrong) are coming at it from a different angle and is that really such a bad thing? And if you are a sincere Brokie and someone tells you that you are stupid or crazy for your beliefs does that really make you stupid or crazy?
Discussion is good-this is my contribution.
I'm not gonna proof cuz I'll just deleate the whole thing if I have to re-read it :-\
O0
starboardlight:
--- Quote from: RouxB on May 09, 2006, 01:38:10 am ---I've been sitting here debating-to post or not to post. Because I'm feeling...kinda...censored I guess is a good way to put it. I love this movie. I've seen it many many times. It hit me about as hard as anything in my life has. I value my own opinions-and my judgement. I've read the story, read the reviews, seen and heard the interviews. AND I refuse to be that certain about anything that was not absolutely spelled out. I don't agree (or even disagree) with some of the interpretations that some people are so sure about-and that is based on my own life experience and nothing more.
I have loved two women in my life. One was completely non-sexual (no desire there at all) but I loved her like crazy-and for many years. The other was more of an "in love" thing and definitely with a sexual attraction-which I tried to act on. I identify as a straight but because of my history I leave some room with that. Do I think I'm in denial about my sexuality-not at all. Does that mean there is no room for me to be wrong-no but...
Maybe those who have those wacky interpretations (and I believe there are some-don't get me wrong) are coming at it from a different angle and is that really such a bad thing? And if you are a sincere Brokie and someone tells you that you are stupid or crazy for your beliefs does that really make you stupid or crazy?
Discussion is good-this is my contribution.
I'm not gonna proof cuz I'll just deleate the whole thing if I have to re-read it :-\
O0
--- End quote ---
ha! now you can't delete. ;D i'm glad you did post, because you're right. absolutely. i think we often want people to see it and understand it in the same way. It's clear that even on this board of like minded, we don't all agree on everything. discussion can be good, if constructively done. thank you for reminding me of that.
serious crayons:
It seems to me that we're talking about a few different kinds of criticism here. There are evil homophobes who hate the movie categorically. There are questionable people (probably also mostly homophobes who realize it's not polite to say so openly) who complain that it glorifies adultery or would be a boring cliched love story if the characters were straight or whatever. There are otherwise nice people who are inexplicably indifferent to it. And there are people who love it but who interpret its ambiguities in different ways than I do.
I feel unmitigated hostility toward the first group, feel mostly contempt for the second group. am frustrated and perplexed by the third, and like and respect the fourth, even though I know that if they don't agree with me, they are wrong. ;)
Kidding about that last one, of course. Actually, I love to debate those ambiguities with people as intelligent and sensitive and observant as you guys are. It gives me something to talk about, a constructive way to think about the movie. It forces me to pick it apart and analyze it at a closer level than I might otherwise, often seeing details I otherwise would overlook. By making me articulate in specific terms what might otherwise be vague impressions, it gives me a better understanding of my own thoughts. And sometimes -- rarely, it's true, but sometimes -- it leads me to change my mind.
silkncense:
RouxB - I think that's why I love Annie's quote & philosophy so much. She wrote the story & is not adamant that people believe or interpret every line in a specific way. If she'd wanted that, she would have written the story specifically.
All that I require is thoughtful consideration. That does not mean I will agree with it.
As we have seen from the various boards, there are gay and straight, male and female that are on differing sides of many questions, issues and opinions expressed regarding this film.
I for one find that only part of it's beauty.
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