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Singles R Us
Kelda:
Now, I'm not single these days ladies, (so I hope you don't mind me dropping on in!) but for the record - I used to spend about £35 in shopping - so thats about $70. The UK is more expensive than the US though me thinks...
I split up with my long term boyfriend of 6 years in Nov 2003. Like you Kelly, I had tried and tried, but it just wasn't working.
I met him through the brass band I play in.. we knew each other vaguely, but I sat next to his brother in band so in fact before we started seeing each other I was much much closer to his brother. Anyway, as a 16 year old I thought he was gorgeous, and he was 18 – older! Wow!
I was going to University 4 months later so we carried on a long distance relationship ..and all was good.. we saw each other a fair bit and that initial loved up stage was lovely.. I knew his brother well anyway and knew of his family, so I fitted in there quite well… 2 yrs went by… Looking back now it would have probably run its course eventually, had other things not intervened – but I’m a try-er I don’t give up easily on anything. But yes, he was a total Ennis, I myself am a Jack – the talker, always need to be on the go etc.
He was up seeing me at uni one weekend when his dad called. Can I speak to Stuart? Stuart put down the phone and said. Graham’s dead. His brother had been killed in an accident at work. That was a terrible time…I had my own grief to deal with as well as Stuart’s, his whole families, and Graham’s girlfriend (a mate of mine). I had to phone round our friends and tell them the news. I had to track down Graham’s best friend as no-one could get in touch with him and tell him over the phone (he was visiting his girlfriend in London). It was hard. I held the family together.
Now this in itself is not a big deal in the grand scheme of things – plenty of people deal with death. But this was a lot to put on my shoulders at that age. But I wanted to be there – I loved this guy, very fond of the family, and his poor brother. Most of the time during the initial week or so after it.. he pushed me away. Didn’t want a cuddle, couldn’t handle it. It was just his way of dealing but there was other flashes of times, when I think he would have collapsed without me.
Anyway, there lies the problem… I let him treat me like 5hit.. because he was grieving.. and I got used to it. And I guess so did he. If he was horrible, and off hand, and more interested in his mates than me, and getting drunk and never physically but verbally abusive, I would say, but he’s grieving. It took another 4 yrs to come to head and took his best friend over a year of repeatedly telling me.. he’s a 5hit to you. Get out of there. And other people telling me the same to eventually make things come to a head. They’re had been plenty of times when I said to him before.. things need to change… but it would always go back to normal.
So yeah, I was gutted when it all ended.. and cried non stop for 2 weeks even though it was me that brought things to a head. But I got over it and went into the I’m not interested in any relationship, just a few odd drunken snogs here and there .. I went on very few dates in the 3 years I was single before I met Callum. 3 dates with 2 different guys! and the one guy I had 2 dates with, both were in a group situation for most of the date.
And then March 2006 - I met Callum - in the midst of my brokie obsession. And I decided what harm would a few dates do.. did I really want to be an Ennis? We've been living together for 9 months now so I guess you can say those dates went well! :laugh:
Jeff Wrangler:
--- Quote from: notBastet on September 10, 2007, 10:14:54 pm ---Story 3:
The real reason I started the thread - I wanted to know how much money other single people spend on groceries per week! I spend anywhere between 25 and 50 bucks...! 25 seems reasonable, but 50 seems a tad ludicrous.
--- End quote ---
I'm spending on average about $40 a week at the grocery store, but that amount is a little misleading. That doesn't included milk picked up at the convenience store as needed, or 12-packs of soda picked up at the drug store (because it's closer to carry it home from the drug store and I can't manage 12-packs of soda and my regular groceries walking home from the supermarket) as needed, or the corn and tomatoes and other stuff bought at the farmer's market during the summer. I don't bother to add up those amounts. I don't want to know. :laugh:
notBastet:
--- Quote from: Kelda on September 11, 2007, 04:14:09 am ---
And then March 2006 - I met Callum - in the midst of my brokie obsession. And I decided what harm would a few dates do.. did I really want to be an Ennis? We've been living together for 9 months now so I guess you can say those dates went well! :laugh:
--- End quote ---
Kelda - thanks so much for sharing your story! I am glad the dates went well!
(I also like knowing that it's possible to enjoy being alone for awhile... and still find another good relationship on the other side, that it doesn't have to be one way or the other, indefinitely.)
notBastet:
--- Quote from: Jeff Wrangler on September 11, 2007, 10:08:19 am ---I'm spending on average about $40 a week at the grocery store, but that amount is a little misleading. That doesn't included milk picked up at the convenience store as needed, or 12-packs of soda picked up at the drug store (because it's closer to carry it home from the drug store and I can't manage 12-packs of soda and my regular groceries walking home from the supermarket) as needed, or the corn and tomatoes and other stuff bought at the farmer's market during the summer. I don't bother to add up those amounts. I don't want to know. :laugh:
--- End quote ---
goody! so far no one has said they spend less than me, so I am go to try real hard to let go of any excess guilt regarding what I spend on food... (I am always like, "Dang, maybe I should have paid a little more on the credit card bills, and endulged in a little less chocolate, or fruit, or wine...")
::)
moremojo:
My weekly expenditure on groceries is closer to the $25.00 end of the spectrum than to the $50.00 one, but this is a little misleading, as I eat out all the time (or purchase prepared food to take home and eat). I never use my kitchen, except to feed my cats and to rinse out and replenish their water bowl.
By the way, I am single. More precisely, I'm a single gay man--not in a relationship currently, couldn't marry another man in my home state if I wanted to, and never intend to marry anyone anyway. Definitely interested in love and romance, though, and do miss that a lot of the time, but I've always felt comfortable with my own company, and don't really feel lonely in a larger sense too often.
I've often thought that I wouldn't be too good in a cohabitation/marriage kind of relationship. I need a lot of down time, a lot of personal time, and fear that that kind of regular, prolonged nearness might prove smothering. I've had the feeling that I would do best in a dating kind of relationship, where I and my partner would spend time together (preferably at his cleaner, neater, and more comfortable place!), but where we both would have our own places to retreat from time to time.
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