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Ignorance is bliss?

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moremojo:
Natali, the story of your grandmother's state of mind (would senility be the accurate term here?) reminds me of my late maternal grandfather's condition when he died in December 1998. He was dying at home of progressive bone cancer, and was heavily doped up with morphine to ease his pain--otherwise, his mind was quite good, even at the age of eighty-four.

His death was expected at any day, and the extended family had gathered at his home in Sugar Land, Texas to be near him when it did happen. Christmas was approaching, and the family decided to celebrate Christmas early so as to have one last such event with my grandfather alive, lest he die before or on the actual date itself. I can't remember if it was a day or two before Christmas Eve (the time when my family traditionally celebrates the usual Christmas festivities), but this very sick, non-lucid old man was wheeled out of his bedroom into the den, told that it was Christmas Eve, and sat frail and failing while carols were sung. Apart from the potential needless suffering that could have been avoided by leaving the poor man in his bed, I thought it was wrong (and still do) that he was lied to about the actual date--the family thought they were doing him a favor, when they were actually doing this for themselves. So many "little white lies" that are rationalized as being for the good of the person being deceived are actually for the benefit of the liar.

As it turned out, my grandfather died on December 29th, so he lived to and beyond Christmas after all. And if he hadn't, would that have been so "terrible", for him at least? I just think it's wrong to deceive someone like that, especially someone in such a vulnerable state.

opinionista:
Well, as far as I am concerned, I don't think anyone in my family actually lies to my grandma. We tell her but she forgets, so we just let her be. Anyway, Im sorry to hear about your grandpa.

moremojo:

--- Quote from: opinionista on September 13, 2007, 12:02:49 pm ---Well, as far as I am concerned, I don't think anyone in my family actually lies to my grandma. We tell her but she forgets, so we just let her be.
--- End quote ---
Quite so, and I apologize if my post led you to think I was positing my story as an exact analogue to yours. Your story simply made me think of my grandfather's experience, in which he was most definitely lied to. Your grandmother is simply unable to retain the facts that are honestly presented to her.

Peace,
Scott

opinionista:

--- Quote from: moremojo on September 13, 2007, 12:09:07 pm ---Quite so, and I apologize if my post led you to think I was positing my story as an exact analogue to yours. Your story simply made me think of my grandfather's experience, in which he was most definitely lied to. Your grandmother is simply unable to retain the facts that are honestly presented to her.

Peace,
Scott

--- End quote ---

No need to apologize Scott, I wasn't offended. I didn't think you were making an analogy or anything. The story you tell happens to a lot of people. I live in Spain and my family is in Puerto Rico so I don't know the day to day details. Maybe they do lie to her.  Who knows.

Shakesthecoffecan:
This exchange reminds me of my own Granny, who had short term memory loss. She lived in a nursing home the last years of her life, and was lucid but confused.

When our visits would draw to a close and it was time to go she would get so upset with our leaving we began telling her we had to go to the store and would be back later, she accepted this with no problem. Her room mate told us that in fact as soon as we left Granny apparently forgot all about our visit. She never brought it up with us.

We start out in a fog of infancy, and if we live long enough we return to it.

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