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Ignorance is bliss?

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injest:

--- Quote from: Shakestheground on September 13, 2007, 12:34:39 pm ---This exchange reminds me of my own Granny, who had short term memory loss. She lived in a nursing home the last years of her life, and was lucid but confused.

When our visits would draw to a close and it was time to go she would get so upset with our leaving we began telling her we had to go to the store and would be back later, she accepted this with no problem. Her room mate told us that in fact as soon as we left Granny apparently forgot all about our visit. She never brought it up with us.

We start out in a fog of infancy, and if we live long enough we return to it.

--- End quote ---

yes, my grandmother was failing in her mind and bedridden. She often believed she saw the school bus bringing her kids home and the cows across the road. My aunt would insist on telling her NO there are no cows. there is no school bus.. Just stressing herself out over it. I would always admire the cows and agree that my mother was getting tall....

she wasn't ever gonna get better...why yell at her for what she couldn't help? just let it go...

opinionista:

--- Quote from: injest on September 13, 2007, 06:31:07 pm ---why yell at her for what she couldn't help? just let it go...

--- End quote ---

That's what I tell my aunt, who takes care of my grandmother. Every time any of my siblings, cousins or I go visit her she always think we're somebody else. She repeats it over and over again. My aunt gets desperated, and yells at her. "That's no her!" she says. I tell her to let her be, there's no point in correcting her anymore. I do like you do, I say yes yes I am whoever she thinks I am.

Kerry:

--- Quote from: opinionista on September 13, 2007, 11:28:36 am ---This topic reminds me of my grandmother. My grandma suffers from short term memory loss as a result of old age. She's 95 years old. When my grandfather died, we gave her the news. She cried for one second, then forgot all about it and went about her business. Then we took her to the funerary home because we thought it was the right thing and that she would like to be there. It was her husband after all. When she saw my grandpa in the coffin, she would cry unconsolably, but then we would take out of the room, to the cafeteria or something, and she was happy talking about her usual stuff, though she would ask from time to time who died. My dad ended up deciding to left her at home with my aunt because there was no point in having her there. Up to this day she thinks my grandpa is out at the store, or visiting the next door neighbor. It is sad for us to see that but at the same time we are relieved that she is not suffering. So I suppose in certain situations, ignorance is bliss. But her memory has worsened and now she doesn't remember half of the family, except my dad and my aunt that are often with her.  :-\

--- End quote ---

This reminds me of something my mother once said to me. I was probably in my teens/twenties at the time (long time ago!).

I don't remember how it came up in conversation, but I remember Mum saying that there are two kinds of people in a nursing home. Those who are fully alert and lucid and are, as a consequence, devastatingly aware of their predicament, creating anxiety, stress and resentment. And then there are those in the second category, who are "off with the pixies" (my Mum's expression).

I remember Mum saying at the time, that if ever she has to be put in a nursing home, she hopes she'll be in the latter category. As it turned out, Mum was sharp as a tack, right to the end. She died of cancer at age 80. Lived independently in her own home, with only minimal assistance with house cleaning and shopping.

She was prescribed morphine during the final three weeks of her life, which was the only time I ever say her a little foggy and addle-headed. But it was the morphine that was causing it. Nothing to do with faulty synapses.

I have to agree with my darling Mummy on this one.

Rogue:
sometimes ignorance is bliss but knowing the truth about things means you can do or try to do something to change it.  i think that knowing the truth can help people make better decisions about how their country or life is run.

notBastet:
those are good points.

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