Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > IMDb Remarkable Writings Rewound
What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
TOoP/Bruce:
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - ndatmo-1 (Sat Jan 28 2006 19:45:42 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
If you're going to wrestle and roughhouse with each other, always chose a scenic slope because it just looks so tousled and appealing when you roll and tumble down a hill and all over each other with all those denim legs and boots flying. Fighting...the cowboy foreplay.
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - ptyrrell (Sat Jan 28 2006 20:14:33 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
When entering the tent of your new-found cowboy lover, it is polite to cover your bulging groin with your hat so as not to poke his eye out. (did anyone else notice this in that scene?)
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - ndatmo-1 (Sat Jan 28 2006 20:18:28 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
Yes, it was a multi-purpose gesture to suggest humility/contrition and create a sense of mystery and expectation.
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - battlestar-fanatica (Sun Jan 29 2006 02:16:49 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
LMAO! THIS THREAD IS GREAT =D
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - Rontrigger (Sun Jan 29 2006 02:32:59 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
UPDATED Sun Jan 29 2006 03:01:06
This is wonderful, but maybe it should go in the "YOU KNOW YOUR A BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN FAN WHEN..." thread?
(Refers to the "Romeo, Romeo..." post.)
"You can't have Ennis without Jack."--Annie Proulx
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - vkm91941 (Sun Jan 29 2006 02:33:34 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
Always check you creel for notes from the wife.
Always get your new fishing gear wet so it looks used after five years of regular "fishing" trips.
Victoria M
Forget about what you thought you were and just accept who you are
Re: Football versus figure skating
by - juliaz3 (Sun Jan 29 2006 08:56:48 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
Yes, I totally noticed that Alma wound up married to TWO gay men.
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - henrypie (Sun Jan 29 2006 20:09:58 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
Armpits and crotches of clothes should be sniffed before packing and good threads should be bumped.
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - ndatmo-1 (Sun Jan 29 2006 22:41:02 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
Pheromone BUMP
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - ndatmo-1 (Sun Jan 29 2006 22:47:20 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
UPDATED Mon Jan 30 2006 11:38:13
Don't waste precious ciggies. Either stub out the one your working on and put it in your pocket for later or grab somebody's hand and take a drag on theirs. You'll be admired as both thrifty and romantic.
Re: Football versus figure skating
by - spottedreptile (Sun Jan 29 2006 23:13:38 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
Yes, I totally noticed that Alma wound up married to TWO gay men.
mmm. VERY interesting point. Firstly Monroe uses an electric knife, then he watches the figure skating, then he's useless in defending Alma when Ennis screams at her in the kitchen.
I wouldn't go so far as to call him 'gay' though. I mean, Ennis displayed none of the above characteristics did he? Ennis is the complete opposite of Monroe, maybe that's way Alma went for him.
I'd rather call Monroe a wuss/wimp/twat.
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - Rosie-nic (Mon Jan 30 2006 09:16:22 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
Bump!
This thread is hilarious!
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - JadziaDragonRider (Mon Jan 30 2006 15:00:28 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
OMG! This thread is amazing. I've laughed out loud so many times! I especially liked Texas Female+Wyoming Male = Scranton Kid. I liked it because when I was watching the scene I was like "Why does that kid sound like a 40s era newsie or some such?
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - starboardlight (Mon Jan 30 2006 15:07:58 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
It's your God damn driveway! Pedestrian on the sidewalk DO NOT have the right of way.
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - wolfofmoonandsun (Mon Jan 30 2006 16:22:01 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
A punch in the face says "I love you." Try it.
When encountering a bear, the safest course of action is to turn and run very fast.
Pictures taken in the 80s were clear, sharp, and bright. When you're mourning a departed loved one, take time to think about this.
Every time you read this signature, an orphaned puppy gets fed into a meat grinder.
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - Shizrae (Mon Jan 30 2006 16:24:10 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
When a cowboy is called a 'sinner' by his co-worker and is told by said co-worker that he is yet to have the opportunity to 'sin', one must present this opportunity.
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - dancinjinn (Mon Jan 30 2006 16:35:16 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
OK, I'm feeling really stupid right now, Starboard, but what scene is this referring to? I'm wracking my little brain on this one.
pedestrian on the sidewalk
by - balrog20-ressurected (Mon Jan 30 2006 17:06:41 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
Starboard is talking about the scene where Ennis in his truck roars into the parking lot of the laundry, which is his driveway... just missing a pedestrian who is moseying along on the sidewalk. He then goes into the apartment where Alma tells him he recieced a postcard from someone named "Jack".
I had something to give..
I had something ELSE to give as well..
(Heath on Oprah)
Re: pedestrian on the sidewalk
by - Ellemeno (Mon Jan 30 2006 17:18:06 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
When being made to introduce your own film, prepare yourself beforehand to have to read some very ridiculous stuff off a Teleprompter. Lack of preparation could result in serious freak outs by those in no way involved.
"You got a better idea.......hunh?"
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - mabra144 (Mon Jan 30 2006 17:46:36 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
A 30-30 is the only acceptable rifle for the modern cowboy. One must always check to make sure it is loaded before mounting a horse. Also, one must always make sure the hammer is not cocked, as an accidental discharge would ruin the leather carrying case that is always on the side of the horse facing the camera.
"Est-il une beauté aussi belle que le rêve? Est-il de vérité plus douce que l'espérance?" -Les Choristes
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - starboardlight (Mon Jan 30 2006 17:55:04 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
a true cowboy never abondons his harmonica, even if it's completely out of tune.
TOoP/Bruce:
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - anml-lvr (Mon Jan 30 2006 18:01:28 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
Never sleep outside and freeze your butt off when you could be snuggly warm in a tent with another ruff n' tuff cowboy.
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - balrog20-ressurected (Mon Jan 30 2006 18:08:11 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
When you've just woken up from stemming the rose of your cowboy buddy for the first time, its ok to be cocking your rifle as your bud approaches. He'll never feel threatened like you are about to shoot him.
Also, if you decide to have a little tete-a-tete with your cowboy buddy after a day spent alone in introspection, its perfectly ok to approach your buddy with your loaded rifle and to casually point it at the ground. Again he'll have no thoughts of you wanting to shoot him.
I had something to give..
I had something ELSE to give as well..
(Heath on Oprah)
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - starboardlight (Mon Jan 30 2006 18:13:06 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
the best gift to bring to a secret tryst is beans.
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - JLScheib (Mon Jan 30 2006 18:49:06 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
<<When you've just woken up from stemming the rose of your cowboy buddy for the first time, its ok to be cocking your rifle as your bud approaches. He'll never feel threatened like you are about to shoot him.
Also, if you decide to have a little tete-a-tete with your cowboy buddy after a day spent alone in introspection, its perfectly ok to approach your buddy with your loaded rifle and to casually point it at the ground. Again he'll have no thoughts of you wanting to shoot him. >>
Somewhere way above this was put more succinctly and generally: Have a rifle handy when discussing your sexual orientation.
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - anml-lvr (Mon Jan 30 2006 18:52:37 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
Laughter makes the heart grow fonder.
Act silly and make him laugh.
Offer to sleep in the pup tent even if it smells like cat piss.
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - jackftwist (Mon Jan 30 2006 19:58:40 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
Leather is a pretty good insulator and it definitely doesn't burn easily! (Recall that Ennis used a leather glove to hold the handle of the cast-iron frying pan in his cooking scenes.)
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - jackftwist (Mon Jan 30 2006 20:06:54 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
Yeah -- where did that friggin' "pissant" line come from? It's not in the short story. Was this some harbinger of Jack's eventual fate? (I've never heard 'pissant' used as a euphemism for gay or qu**r before.)
"It was [Ennis's] own plaid shirt ... stolen by Jack and hidden here inside Jack's own shirt, the pair like two skins, one inside the other, two in one." (from the short story)
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - jackftwist (Mon Jan 30 2006 20:15:48 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
OK, this is by far the best message board for (a) treating severe acute addiction to the movie (I'm an addict and have no desire to recover from it) and (b) forgetting the SAG awards fiasco Sunday night (yeah, I've read the posts on that forum, too -- I'm still p*ssed at Ledger and Gyllenhaal's performance, their apologists in that threat notwithstanding, but I'm even more p*ssed at the SAG).
"You gonna do this again next summer?"
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - cmr107 (Mon Jan 30 2006 21:57:23 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
Bump to get a fun, positive thread back up top.
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - starboardlight (Mon Jan 30 2006 22:19:55 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
always say goodbye properly to your father, even if your mother is screaming hysterically in the kitchen.
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - ndatmo-1 (Mon Jan 30 2006 23:57:27 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
UPDATED Tue Jan 31 2006 00:17:10
If your Daddy looks kinda mad about something, even though you know he's probably not mad at you and your sister...when he asks you if you need a push on the swingset, just say no. He's pretty strong and centrifugal force is not something to test without the helmets that kids of the future will be wearing.
[Post deleted]
This message has been deleted by an administrator
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - bookbabe73 (Tue Jan 31 2006 13:15:11 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
When I need a good smile I read this post - so BUMP!
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - LuckySeven (Tue Jan 31 2006 13:53:35 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
BUMP BUMP !!
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - maraudertheslashnymph (Tue Jan 31 2006 14:10:47 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
If you are a cowboy's wife, it is perfectly acceptable to ask, "You know someone by the name of Jack?" without specifying a last name and without taking into account that EVERYONE knows someone by the name of Jack.
When getting into a fight with your lover about his other sexual relationships, it is not necessary to specify that you know he seeks out prostitutes. The phrase "what they got in Mexico for boys like you" is understood by everyone.
If you are a cowboy's beard, it is not unusual to assume that his teeenage daughter is qualified to know whether you are the one that her father ought to marry.
First-time sex with a male lover is not allowed to be sweet or gentle. You must do it as roughly and quickly as possible to prove that you are manly; once you have proved this fact, you may kiss slowly and whisper to each other the next time.
"You don't go up there to fish!"
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - VirginiaGal (Tue Jan 31 2006 14:20:37 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
After passionately kissing your cowboy lover next to your kids' swing set, wipe your mouth before introducing said lover to your wife.
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - wolfofmoonandsun (Tue Jan 31 2006 15:10:38 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
If you feel like having a snuggly in broad daylight with your coworker, watch out for suspicious old men who might be watching. Suspicious old men need love too, and seldom have gorgeous cowboy lovers of their own. Pity them.
Every time you read this signature, an orphaned puppy gets fed into a meat grinder.
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - starboardlight (Wed Feb 1 2006 17:29:55 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
when dancing with a cowboy, talking non stop will not get you a date with him, but might get your husband a date; throwing your hair wildly from side to side will get you a few dates but will not get him to the alter; looking into his eyes and smiling confidently might get him to marry you, but only if you have sex with him faster than he can think.
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - henrypie (Wed Feb 1 2006 18:13:55 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
(yup, there's only so much blood in the body...)
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - jackftwist (Wed Feb 1 2006 21:26:29 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
In addition to "guns goin' off" (Jack, in the short story's version of the first love scene), McMurtry and Ossana should've also included "I sure wrang it out a hunderd times thinkin about you" (Ennis to Jack, in the short story's motel scene). These are great lines that add significantly to those scenes.
- "I can't make it on a couple of high-altitude *beep* once or twice a year."
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - beyonddizzy31 (Wed Feb 1 2006 21:44:42 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
Call first before driving 9 hours up to Wyoming, al while assuming your long time secret lover will immediately want to run off to live happily ever after with you. It'll save you the tissues.
Face life with a little guts... and lots of glitter :-)
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - grghls (Wed Feb 1 2006 21:45:10 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
when a gay cowboy checks to see if the coffee is hot in the pot always use the top of the hand. this will keep the palms in top shape, which will be appreciated later.
when the wife of a gay cowboy teases her husband for not dancing with her she must push him with the top of her hand. this will keep the palms in top shape, which will be appreciated later.
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - flashframe777 (Thu Feb 2 2006 11:08:29 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
If you want your cowboy suitor to love your awful singing, offering him a bottle of whiskey first, helps.
Warning: Whiskey will not help improve a Cowboy's perception of bad harmonica playing.
"You bet." --Ennis del Mar
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - Brkback (Thu Feb 2 2006 12:46:22 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
UPDATED Fri Feb 3 2006 05:43:06
Short-legged pudgy rodeo clowns become tall, slim, and long-legged when encountered in bars. However, they are sometimes considerably uglier there.
Ennis: "And I thought the soup boxes was hard to pack!"
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - Brkback (Thu Feb 2 2006 12:58:30 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
Never jump off a cliff into a lake with your lover. If you do, he may be suddenly replaced with a man not nearly as cute, and with a smaller dick.
Ennis: "And I thought the soup boxes was hard to pack!"
TOoP/Bruce:
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - Brkback (Thu Feb 2 2006 13:06:59 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
Cowboy wives should wait until after they are divorced and remarried to accuse their former husbands of doing the "nasty" with a male friend. A major holiday is preferred for such confrontations.
Ennis: "And I thought the soup boxes was hard to pack!"
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - starboardlight (Thu Feb 2 2006 13:19:00 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
Interrupting a cowboy and his apple pie will end in tears.
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - Brkback (Thu Feb 2 2006 13:31:28 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
Be careful when using the Spanish word "señor."
In some Mexican dialects, this otherwise inoccuous word means "do you wanna
f * c k?
Ennis: "And I thought the soup boxes was hard to pack!"
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - Brkback (Thu Feb 2 2006 13:41:24 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
Gay stereotypes should be reinforced by ineptly failing to catch keys tossed to you.
Ennis: "And I thought the soup boxes was hard to pack!"
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - snuffle007 (Thu Feb 2 2006 13:57:12 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
Bump bump bump
love this thread
I miss you so much I can hardly stand it.
I wish I knew how to quit you
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - hibbler (Thu Feb 2 2006 14:31:16 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
when a gay cowboy checks to see if the coffee is hot in the pot always use the top of the hand. this will keep the palms in top shape, which will be appreciated later.
when the wife of a gay cowboy teases her husband for not dancing with her she must push him with the top of her hand. this will keep the palms in top shape, which will be appreciated later.
LMAO!! Especially that first one.
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - EnnisLovesJack (Thu Feb 2 2006 15:02:12 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
Bump bump bump and bump again!
You're all cracking me up - I love this thread!
Wish I had cowboys in my life to practice what I've learned here....
"I'm sending up a prayer of thanks."
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - snuffle007 (Thu Feb 2 2006 15:06:57 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
1. It is perfectly acceptable, nay expected, to passionatly grab and tounge wrestle with a lover you haven't seen or heard from in 4 years. They will not only not take offence, but will in fact return this gesture vigorously!!!!
2.Don't forget to wipe your mouth and tuck your shirt back in when returning to the house with him to meet the wife after said tounge wrestling session!
3. When leaving for a "fishing trip" with your lover, it is ok to barely speak to your wife and even make stupid comments to avoid any questions. Eye contact should be avoided.
4. After pi!!ing, your cowboy buddy will be looking in your crotch area. Remember to show off your belt buckle!
5. When suddenly waking up surrounded by snow that wasn't there the night before, grab a blanket and run around stupified and confused
6. If you want cowboy love interest to notice you, bathe naked as close to him as possible. He will continue to peel potatoes and will try to sneak a glance at your goodies.
7. Never accept any offer of help when injured.
8. If you try to help an injured collegue, it will either be rejected or result in a black eye on your part!
9. When wife accuses you of not going on fishing trips to fish, it is perfectly ok to take your anger out on someone who nearly runs you over!!! You will probably end up getting the s!it kicked out of you though so BEWARE!
10. Always rub the sweaty, dirty feet of any woman who plonks them in your lap!
11. Flirting with rodeo clowns can be dangerous. They may take great offence and even talk about you behind your back!
12. When arguing with cowboy lover, it is best not to mention you have been sleeping with male prostitutes in mexico. This can only make the argument worse.
13. Drink and smoke ALL the time! Any cowboy who doesn't, isn't a man!
14. Singing badly will always get you a tin pot percussion from cowboy colleague.
15. If advances aren't working, subtly suggest to cowboy collegue that you "haven't had chance to sin". That'll get his motor running!!!
16. Never discard even broken musical instruments. The off key playing will only make your love interest more in love with you!
Anyone think of anymore???
I really really really love this thread!!!
"I miss you so much I can hardly stand it."
"I wish I knew how to quit you"
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - snuffle007 (Thu Feb 2 2006 15:47:21 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
Bump
"I miss you so much I can hardly stand it."
"I wish I knew how to quit you"
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - snuffle007 (Thu Feb 2 2006 15:53:37 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
Bump again
Love this thread soooo much. Makes me laugh so badly!!
"I miss you so much I can hardly stand it."
"I wish I knew how to quit you"
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - priscillaherrington (Thu Feb 2 2006 15:57:02 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
bump
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - snuffle007 (Thu Feb 2 2006 16:01:02 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
1. Asking a cold colleague into your tent, will certainly lead to both of you being warmed up!!
2. After a night of rough sex, never speak or even look at your lover.
3. When unhappy, the manly cowboy will sit on the hill alone and sulk.
4. Never say anything when a look or gesture will do. At most say "huh" or "hmm"
5. Always drink out of a cup your fellow cowboy has used to shave in
6. Always stick your foot, completly in the fire.
7. When cowboy colleague successfully shoots an elk, a rough punch and push is expected.
8. Sheep should always be carried whenever possible. If you can't, dragging by hind legs is acceptable.
9. Arguements in front of children should always be followed by a kind gesture towards them such as "you girls need a push" if they are on swings for example.
10. Kick things when you are annoyed. It helps and it makes you look manly!!
11. After night of rough sex, the modern cowboy will lie all night with his trousers round his knees and all other clothes on (including boots). Only pull said trousers up in the morning when leaving.
"I miss you so much I can hardly stand it."
"I wish I knew how to quit you"
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - snuffle007 (Thu Feb 2 2006 19:38:08 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
BUMP
"I miss you so much I can hardly stand it."
"I wish I knew how to quit you"
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - Ellemeno (Thu Feb 2 2006 19:49:59 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
I can't for the life of me think of one. I love this thread.
"It ain't a belief, cupcake, it is who they are."
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - LuckySeven (Fri Feb 3 2006 03:49:52 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
Loving this thread!! Bump!
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - Brkback (Fri Feb 3 2006 20:49:49 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
It is proper to slightly flare one nostril and swallow hard when being told that your deceased lover was thinking about setting up houskeeping with another man.
Ennis: " At least this is easier to pack than them soup boxes!"
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - ryan_loves_cody-1 (Fri Feb 3 2006 21:18:39 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
bump
One more chain I break
to get me closer to you
Everyone should read this thread. It is hilarious
by - snuffle007 (Sat Feb 4 2006 19:44:47 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
Bump
"I miss you so much I can hardly stand it."
"I wish I knew how to quit you"
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - grghls (Sun Feb 5 2006 12:33:09 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
UPDATED Sun Feb 5 2006 12:37:24
when gay saddle tramps hook up, the one who can catch objects suddenly tossed his way will be the pitcher and the one who cannot catch will be the catcher. the logic of the west, go figure.
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - Lebois (Tue Feb 7 2006 17:24:18 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
Bump ?
Bump... absolutely
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - starboardlight (Tue Feb 7 2006 18:30:00 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
The fastest way to a cowboy's heart is through a broken harmonica.
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - VirginiaGal (Tue Feb 7 2006 18:33:17 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
UPDATED Wed Feb 8 2006 17:03:50
When bikers won't shut their slop-bucket mouths in front of your children, the proper response is to kick their teeth in and say the F word, also in front of said children, then be photographed fetchingly in front of an exploding fireworks display.
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - allovertheworld (Tue Feb 7 2006 19:13:11 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
When your moustache disappears and then reappears, the conscious cowboy will hold up a sign saying "I'm having a flashback now" so that the average viewer will know this is a flashback, and not an editing error or other such goof.
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - EnnisLovesJack (Wed Feb 8 2006 16:54:04 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
the one who can catch objects suddenly tossed his way will be the pitcher and the one who cannot catch will be the catcher. the logic of the west, go figure.
Ha ha! That's great. These are all great. I'm only jealous I haven't come up with one yet. Hmmmm....must think of something.
"Redlined it all the way, couldn't get here fast enough."
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - EnnisLovesJack (Wed Feb 8 2006 16:57:00 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
When your moustache disappears and then reappears, the conscious cowboy will hold up a sign saying "I'm having a flashback now" so that the average viewer will know this is a flashback, and not an editing error or other such goof.
So true - the first time I saw BBM that's exactly what I thought - editing goof. Big one! I did not realize that was a flashback. Don't ask me why. Lack of sideburns in flashback scene should have tipped me off....
But now, 4 viewings later (that's a total of 5), and many many many (SO mnay) visits to this board later, I know the truth!
"Redlined it all the way, couldn't get here fast enough."
TOoP/Bruce:
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - Ellemeno (Sat Feb 18 2006 10:31:56 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
>> When your moustache disappears and then reappears, the conscious cowboy will hold up a sign saying "I'm having a flashback now" so that the average viewer will know this is a flashback, and not an editing error or other such goof.
LOL!
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - yaadpyar (Sat Feb 18 2006 10:45:47 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
Some of my favorites:
Color of cowboy hat and horse should differ lest one appear too 'matchy.' Black hat with palomino, or white hat with roan mare are acceptable.
Brush up on weird ass jargon like "stemming the rose" and "on the QT" and "pair of deuces" before applying for a job.
Be careful to enunciate clearly so that "goin' fishin'" doesn't come out "goin' *beep* .
Objects in your sideview mirror may appear smaller,farther away and much sadder than you could ever imagine.
"I feel awful bad about Jack. Can't begin to say how bad I feel."
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - EnnisLovesJack (Tue Feb 21 2006 14:01:12 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
Bump!
Calling all funny, genius brokies on board: I'm hungry for more nuances of cowboy ettiqutte. Feed me! (Please. )
"Redlined it all the way, couldn't get here fast enough."
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - EnnisLovesJack (Tue Feb 21 2006 14:02:53 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
Objects in your sideview mirror may appear smaller,farther away and much sadder than you could ever imagine.
This one rocks my world. Sad. Clever. Cute. Perfect.
"Redlined it all the way, couldn't get here fast enough."
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - EnnisLovesJack (Tue Feb 21 2006 14:06:27 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
This post has brought me so much pleasure. It'd make an awesome poster (as in the kind you hang on your wall). Rock on.
(Thanks to jmmgallagher, and all the clever people here who made me laugh!)
"Redlined it all the way, couldn't get here fast enough."
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - grghls (Tue Feb 21 2006 16:26:38 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
UPDATED Tue Feb 21 2006 16:29:51
leave no doubt about the heterosexuality of producers, script writers, director, and principal actors by having spurned gay cowboy, played by gorgeous hollywood leading male star, hook-up with troll-like mexican prostitute and actually get rejected by troll-like rodeo clown.
cowboys with moles on their faces are gay. the one with the fewest moles will top the other.
when a gay cowboy knows that sexual congress with his beard is imminent, it is advisable to sit on the edge of the bed feigning exhaustion while showing a little butt cleavage, with the eyes closed. listen to beard's demands to up scale living quarters and engage in foreplay to deflect those demands, with the eyes closed. turn off the lights when it becomes impossible to further delay proving avowed heterosexuality, with the eyes closed. ignore beard’s entreaties to "come here", flip her over and perform "coitus in ano" with the eyes closed. at this point a jump cut with suggestive commentary will occur: "let her rip and snort boys." the gay cowboy will be instantly transported back to a tent on a mountain in wyoming that is really in alberta with male beloved's face burned into his mind. at this point it is safe to open the eyes. this will ensure the gay cowboy will not "whip babies" between fishing trips.
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - Stone-In-Shoe (Tue Feb 21 2006 16:37:33 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
I have a question about some cowboy stuff. Hopefully somebody can answer it. I read the story before the film and neither it nor the film answered it.
Why is it necessary to take sheep (or any animal) up into the mountains when they could do just as well sitting on a farm? I assume this is a common practice.
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - EnnisLovesJack (Tue Feb 21 2006 16:37:44 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
Thanks for resurrecting this awesome thread, grghls!
I especially love your last one, laughed out loud!
I, too, noticed that suggestive jump cut! So naughty. LOL.
"Redlined it all the way, couldn't get here fast enough."
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - EnnisLovesJack (Tue Feb 21 2006 16:39:42 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
Acceptable forms of address include "Cowboy," "Friend," and "Bud."
For women, your choices are more limited, and usually restricted to a simple "ma'am."
"Redlined it all the way, couldn't get here fast enough."
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - Ellemeno (Tue Feb 21 2006 16:44:12 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
>> Why is it necessary to take sheep (or any animal) up into the mountains when they could do just as well sitting on a farm? I assume this is a common practice.
Free food. They keep moving the sheep while the weather is good enough and grass is growing, always moving to fresh food. Keeping them penned in means bringing (bought, usually) food to them.
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - Stone-In-Shoe (Tue Feb 21 2006 16:53:28 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
I get it now. I assumed it had to do with grazing but wasn't sure. When the weather turns cold, however, food will have to be imported, I'm sure.
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - grghls (Tue Feb 21 2006 16:59:45 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
UPDATED Fri Mar 3 2006 15:30:59
sheep are extremely destructive to the grass they graze. there have been major wars in the past between cattlemen and sheep farmers. sheep eat down into the root and it takes a very long time for the grass to recover. sheep may even kill the grass they graze. cattle do not do this, they eat only the stalk and not the roots so the grass recovers quickly. where cattle ranching is long established it is hard for sheep farmers to get the best pasture and they will quite often end up on distant and inhospitable range disdained by cattle ranchers.
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - hungry_hungryhippos (Tue Feb 21 2006 17:06:37 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
God I love this - I haven't laughed this hard in a week!!!! Keep up the good work... Can't believe I haven't stumbled on this thread yet...
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - Brkback (Tue Feb 21 2006 20:54:01 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
UPDATED Fri Feb 24 2006 00:11:47
Always situate your kids' swing-set directly in the exhaust path of laundromat gas dryers. The carbon monoxide will keep them playing quietly, immune from trauma caused by screaming arguments with the wife, and eliminate any need for your assistance with their playtime activities.
Ennis: " This easier to pack than them soup boxes!"
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - hungry_hungryhippos (Wed Feb 22 2006 03:28:06 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
bump
everybody should read this..
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - WYsecretTX (Wed Feb 22 2006 07:42:33 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
When someone has trouble controlling his horse, make sure you point out that his horse has a low startle point, as he might have not noticed.
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - yaadpyar (Wed Feb 22 2006 09:33:30 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
This thread is one of my all-time favorites. Because I can never think of any myself, I'm re-posting a few more I love:
When your moustache disappears and then reappears, the conscious cowboy will hold up a sign saying "I'm having a flashback now" so that the average viewer will know this is a flashback, and not an editing error or other such goof.
If your Daddy looks kinda mad about something, even though you know he's probably not mad at you and your sister...when he asks you if you need a push on the swingset, just say no. He's pretty strong and centrifugal force is not something to test without the helmets that kids of the future will be wearing.
When a stranger visits your home, decides to rummage through a family member's closet and take an item of clothing without permission, it is expected that you should offer a paper bag for him to take said item home.
"I feel awful bad about Jack. Can't begin to say how bad I feel."
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - Julie01 (Wed Feb 22 2006 10:37:43 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
You never punch out your ex-wife, no matter how much you want to.
"You come back and see us again"--Jack's mother
One thing never changed: the brilliant charge of their infrequent couplings was darkened by the sense of time flying, never enough time, never enough.--Annie Proulx, "brokeback Mountain
TOoP/Bruce:
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - EnnisLovesJack (Wed Feb 22 2006 10:40:06 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
Bartenders, when asked by a patron to identify a young lady who has been shooting come-hither glances at said patron all night, will thoughtfully furnish not only the young lady's name, but also her daddy's financial status.
"Fishing" is a unviersally understood, gay cowboy code word for sex. This code word works in both Texas and Wyoming. Occasionally "hunting" may be understood to mean the same thing.
When propositioning a new cowboy acquaintance, it is considered more refined to build up to suggestions of "fishing" with talk of whiskey and crawpey houses, whatever they may be.
When, deep down, you suspect your cowboy husband is having an affair with another man, avoid facing the issue by diving headlong into book-keeping and accounting. This is the cowboy wife equivalent to drowning one's sorrows in drink. Caveat: this requires a certain financial stability, ideally springing from a successful family business in farm machinery.
If you happen to be a poor Wyoming cowboy wife, it's best to strangle on your hurt and anger for at least 8 years, before taking action, such as filing for divorce. An additional two years are adviseable before confronting said husband about his gay love affair.
Younger children may disappear fromsecond half of film. Expect no explanation, as none will be given. The occasional mention of the absent child's name will suffice to indicate her continued existence. Male children may not be grant4ed this courtesy.
Thanksgiving is the preferred time to invite your ex-husband over and out him in your kitchen.
Taking creative liberties with your ex-husband's lover's name is appreciated (i.e. Jack Nasty instead of Jack Twist), especially when your ex-husband takes similar liberties with his lover's name (i.e. Jack *beep* Twist).
When hearing screaming, crying, and general commotion in your kitchen, where your wife and her ex are doing the dishes, it is best to ignore the situation. Don't get up and see what is going on, and above all, do not go make sure that your wife is alright. Instead, remain seated in living room, smoking a cigar and drinking brandy. Feign attentiveness only when wife's violent ex-husband storms out of house. This polite overlooking of the situation - and of your wife's well being - will be much appreciated.
When you discover your husband is having an affair with another cowboy, the prudent cowboy wife will wait at least 10 years to confront said husband. Remember to allow a minimum of two years between divorcing your husband and confronting him about his affair and his homosexuality. This will give you time to collect your thoughts, and prepare what to say.
"Redlined it all the way, couldn't get here fast enough."
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - lucise (Wed Feb 22 2006 10:42:54 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
There are some amazing posts on this thread! Thanks for the laugh!
I'll attempt a few:
- Jumping up and down ridiculously while mimicking a drunken rodeo clown will definitely fetch you some brownie points; it will definitely ensure that the cowboy object of your affections is looking and smiling at you for a good few minutes.
- When replying to postcards from a lover you havent seen for few years, it is best to follow the 'no more than 2 or 3 words' rule - it is a sure way to keep them wondering about you and wanting more!
- When going on fishing trips with a secret cowboy lover, please please please, whatever you do, dont forget your fishing net and creel case in front of your wife!!
'If you sleep through life, you wake up dead.'
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - EnnisLovesJack (Wed Feb 22 2006 11:30:40 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
UPDATED Wed Feb 22 2006 13:06:02
When greeting or bidding your two daughters goodbye, you may kiss only one of them. Choose wisely.
When leaving on "fishing trips," it is perfectly acceptable not to kiss your wife goodbye, or even say "See you later." It's best to just ignore her as much as possible. She'll repay your adherence to this rule of cowboy ettiquette by helpfully reminding you to take along your creel case, which you have forgotten in your eagerness to leave and meet your lover.
Ministers conducting wedding ceremonies are expected to make lame jokes, which will be politely tittered at by those in attendance.
The typical cowboy honeymoon consists of 1 day of sledding down a snowy mountain with your bride.
The only time it is permissible for a cowboy to wear headgear other than a cowboy hat is when shoveling asphalt, in which case a baseball cap is considered the proper topper.
When ending a relationship with a girlfriend, the best modus operandi is to simply drop off the face of the earth. A good ways to accomplish this include ignoring any notes and messages she leaves for you. Whatever you do, do not tell her you are leaving. Eventually she will get the hint, and hook up with a rebound beau who "even talks." Good for her.
Should your spurned girlfriend confront you, place the blame on her, alluding to her rebound beau and telling her you "got the hint." Do not acknowledge the fact that it was you who terminated the relationship.
Be circumspect when answering questions about your recent whereabouts. "Here and there" is the most suitable reply to questions like "Where ya been?"
If your marriage ends because you have been cheating on your wife with your cowboy lover, and because you have been generally unattentive and sullen, it is adviseable to act as though you were the injured party, and lay blame for the dissolution of the marriage on your wife. If said (ex-)wife inquires whether you intend to remarry, you may reply in the negative, explaining, "once burned." After all, she divorced you. And you can't imagine why.
"Redlined it all the way, couldn't get here fast enough."
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - yaadpyar (Wed Feb 22 2006 11:31:31 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
OK - Lucise - you've inspired me! I'll give it a try!
- When going on a fishing trip, the considerate cowboy actually removes the price tag from his rod and creel case, reads wife's note, and acknowledges note to wife upon return. If no fishing occurs on the said trip, cowboy stops at market and brings home some 'brownies' (trouts) for wife and girls, who he knows loves them.
- When eating Thanksgiving dinner with the ex-wife and her whimpy new husband, the polite cowboy refrains from intentionally making the new husband look even less manly by commenting on the electric carving knife or ice skating on tv.
"I feel awful bad about Jack. Can't begin to say how bad I feel."
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - lucise (Wed Feb 22 2006 12:02:53 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
<<
If no fishing occurs on the said trip, cowboy stops at market and brings home some 'brownies' (trouts) for wife and girls
>>
lol! I was thinking of that too! :D
How about another? Ok, why the hell not :)
When expecting a visit from long-lost cowboy lover, get 3 packets of ciggies and as many cases of beer as you can carry; sit by an open window and smoke/drink to your nervous heart's content, then pass out on the couch completely surrounded by empty beer bottles. WHen said cowboy lover arrives and french kisses you, trust me, the beer taste in your mouth will be the sweetest honey he ever tasted!
lets hear more folks! :D
'If you sleep through life, you wake up dead.'
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - yaadpyar (Wed Feb 22 2006 12:13:43 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
UPDATED Wed Feb 22 2006 13:40:03
EnnisLovesJack - you and Lucise are on a roll!
- While it's typically considered polite to groom oneself in private, it is permissable for a cowboy to shave out of a cup, using a side-mirror to see, when applying for a job herding sheep.
- Any glaces at fellow cowboys applying for said job should be sideways and barely noticable except to the camera viewing audience. Fellow cowboy should keep his hat low and eyes averted so as not to see he's being watched.
"I feel awful bad about Jack. Can't begin to say how bad I feel."
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - lucise (Wed Feb 22 2006 12:31:11 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
Ok..what the heck, I cant stop thinking of more of these things :)
- After enjoying a summer of sheep-herding and 'intense couplings' with your cowboy lover, the best way to deal with the situation is by turning down all offers for financial assistance he makes, sulking up a hill and punching said-lover's lights out when he tries to show you some affection. This is a sure way to try to separate yourself from him forever. (NOT!)
- Whatever you do, wherever you go, no matter how desperate you are: DO NOT (I repeat, DON'T) hit on a sinister-looking, bizarro terd of a rodeo clown! That will be lower than hitting rock bottom, especially when you are still pining for your unavailable yet handsome, 'strong-silent-type', macho cowboy lover.
- If you have a neighbor called Joe or Aguirre who owns a pair of binoculars, CALL THE POLICe!
'If you sleep through life, you wake up dead.'
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - MtBecky (Wed Feb 22 2006 12:32:36 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
I never knew that when washing clothes, a cowboy must remove all their clothes except for boots while washing clothes in river. :O)
Re: What nuance of Cowboy Etiquette did YOU first learn from this movie?
by - EnnisLovesJack (Wed Feb 22 2006 13:12:51 )
Ignore this User | Report Abuse
rollin' rollin' rollin'.
This is so fun! I love this thread.
"Redlined it all the way, couldn't get here fast enough."
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version