Awww Chuckie,
I'm so sorry! If it makes you feel anybetter I have been there myself.
Highscool was the 5th ring of hell for me! I was poor and small and from a very small southern town.
You couldn't fart in Church that everyone didn't know about it. If you have ever seen footloose and how that town was you get the idea. When I graduated, my class had less than 400 kids.
My dad left when I was 13 so i had to go to work to help take care ofmy mom and my sister.
That meant no time for sports or dating or much of anything. While all the popular kids were wearing their Izods and Jordache and these new tennis shoes called Nike's, I was wearing my k-mart jeans, hand me down shirts and whatever shoes my mom could find at the second hand store. You could say I was a target.
I endured the same things. Kids can be so cruel and adults are no better. When I graduated at 17 I was 5'10 and weighed about 130. I was a late bloomer.
I was so tormented and teased for being poor, for being scrawny etc.
I had those same feelings as you. Inever went as far but they were there none the less.
By the end of my freshman year of college I was at my current 6'1.5" and was weing in at 220.
I was no longer scrawny! I went to school on scholorships and grants aso I worked and made my own money and for once could dress the way i wanted.
The scars linger though. Hell, you are a lot braver than I. I didn't have the courage to accept myself til just recently. Had i not seen BBM Who knows, I may never had.
I believe everything happens for a reason. We went through that shit to make us strong.
Now, I dare anyone to mess with me! They'd rather jack off a bobcat in a phone booth than mess with me!