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APPLYING the LESSONS of BBM to YOUR LIFE

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rtprod:
Hi everyone,

Now that we've digested the film so fully and it is all but part of our DNA, beyond how we commune here daily, speak to those close to us in fragmented movie dialogue and otherwise obsess on the validity of the "s'oks" and "s'allrights," let's talk about how the lessons of the movie have affected us or maybe even caused each of us to have a paradigm shift, to look at the world in a different way or maybe just to "wake up" to ourselves as it were.  I'll go first:

Lesson: Life, relationships will wait for no one.

Application:  For me, I've been better at not waiting to say what I think or feel, expressing things more fully to friends and others, and being a little more free in life, rather than maintaining tunnel vision like a closed-down Ennis.  And it's easy to inadverdently let that happen when you live a major metro city where you just want to come and go each day, tune out the noise and stay in your own comfort zone.   So I guess I've been living a bit more on the Jack Twist side of life, little more carefree, little more spontaneous, opening my eyes up a bit and aware of letting those around me know I value them.  A little Jack Twist is a good prescription for anyone I think.  I'm not ending up in that trailer (unless Heath's there, then maybe), at least not by myself!

Sweet life.

;D

rt

vkm91941:

--- Quote from: rtprod on May 11, 2006, 02:48:05 pm ---Hi everyone,

Now that we've digested the film so fully and it is all but part of our DNA, beyond how we commune here daily, speak to those close to us in fragmented movie dialogue and otherwise obsess on the validity of the "s'oks" and "s'allrights," let's talk about how the lessons of the movie have affected us or maybe even caused each of us to have a paradigm shift, to look at the world in a different way or maybe just to "wake up" to ourselves as it were.  I'll go first:

Lesson: Life, relationships will wait for no one.

Application:  For me, I've been better at not waiting to say what I think or feel, expressing things more fully to friends and others, and being a little more free in life, rather than maintaining tunnel vision like a closed-down Ennis.  And it's easy to inadverdently let that happen when you live a major metro city where you just want to come and go each day, tune out the noise and stay in your own comfort zone.   So I guess I've been living a bit more on the Jack Twist side of life, little more carefree, little more spontaneous, opening my eyes up a bit and aware of letting those around me know I value them.  A little Jack Twist is a good prescription for anyone I think.  I'm not ending up in that trailer (unless Heath's there, then maybe).   

Sweet life.

;D

rt



--- End quote ---

Excellent for you rt.  I could not agree more.  I let BBM open my heart again.  Most folks around here know that I lost my husband, the love of my life, suddenly 12 years ago and it left me devastated, in a serious depression with an infant and 4 year old to raise ALONE.  I had to shut a big part of my heart off.  I stopped thinking of my self as a relatively young woman with a life and only saw myself as a Mom, a friend, a sister and a daughter.  I went out occasionally at the urging of friends, but my heart wasn't in it.  My heart, at least that part of it was with Stephen, in heaven if you well...Brokeback Mountain the story in the New Yorker cracked my heart 8 years ago but over time it scabbed over and I went on as before. BUT Brokeback Mountain the film tore my heart wide open and laid bare feelings and emotions I thought were long dead.  Because of this lovely, brilliant film and the love of a few dear friends some of whom post here.  I opened my heart to a man I met and am experiencing the wonder of love for the second time in my life.  I feel so blessed by this experience.  ::)

dmmb_Mandy:
Wow, beautifully said, both of you. Your responses made me teary-eyed. The affect of this film continues to amaze me.
RT, it makes me so happy to know that you have taken action with your life and love and that you have opened your eyes and your heart a little wider. *lotsa love*
Vic, wow, I am so glad that you have found love again. I have the utmost respect for you and you deserve the best.

As for me, I have learned to hold on tight and really appreciate everything/one I love. Also, I've learned to not let the intolerance of the world hold me back. Curse you, world, if I want to walk around naked, lemme do it dammit!  ;)
As an application, I try to let those I love know how much I care and respect them. And like RT, I try to be clear, honest and thorough about how I feel.

 :-*

JennyC:
Ok, I will give it a try, only this is no easy task.  Many things are intertwined.

What rt and Vicky said is THE lesson we learned from the movie, I am just framing it a little bit different based on my experience.

The lesson I learned from the BBM is that it’s ok to take calculated risks, allow yourself being vulnerable, and make step by step efforts to pursue what you want.  We all have some wants/desires in our hearts that we don’t allow ourselves to pursue it, because of the fear for being vulnerable, being hurt, and/or the effort it takes to make it happen.   I have learned to look back in my past, how I always tend to error on the side of being rational, cautious, and risk avert, but lack of a carefree mind, and an adventurous spirit. Part of this is the culture that I grew up in, but still I bare most the responsibilities.  Now when I make a decision, I ask myself if it’s what I want or what I am normally comfortable with, or if I reject some opportunities for me or for my family because I don’t want to take the risk involved.  After saw BBM, my husband and I have talked about a lot of things in our life, our relationship, our life choices, and directions, etc.  It was interesting that how we both see ourselves being Jack or Ennis in different situations.  Once we put things in that context, it’s easier to see the other party’s perspective.  It was just amazing how the characterization of these two fiction figures can be related to so many things in our life, not just relationship.  I came to realize that a lot of time the things that holding me back are not from the outside, but my own fear, judgment, and the rules that I set for myself that boxed me in (hence, I relate more to Ennis).    I am trying to be a little bit more spontaneous, and focus more on the potential benefit than the cost.  I figured that I was never wild and stupid when I was young, and don’t think I will now, so a little bit free spirit and risk taking won’t hurt anything. 

It’s not easy to change the way that you have functioned for so many years.  I am still taking baby steps from what I learned.

TJ:
While not trying to be smart-alecky here, I think I could apply the lessons of my life to the Brokeback Mountain story.

Using the Annie Proulx timeline, I am just a little older by a year or so than Ennis and Jack. In May 1963, I was 20 years old. My birthday was in November.

What others can learn from the movie and most of all, boys and men who are in denial of their sexual homosexual orientation is that they should not have to put themselves, or let themselves be, put through a life of hell on earth.

While I was never treated badly during my closet days for my sexual orientation, even when some people 400 miles NE of Tulsa found out about it (some accepted it and some didn't) but I actually did not leave the closet, I went through discrimination as an adult after earning a BA in Education because I was not married.

The situation about the smalll group of people finding out would never have happened if I had not been teaching in a small town with around 2,000 in population. It was directly connected with the fact that I was a teacher; but, the fact that a self-ordained preacher in the church I attended found out about it and his son was in one of the elementary schools connected with the school system. His son found out about it through someone in another church family and they did not even live in the school district.

The other family actually did not care in the first place; they just liked me and had me as guest in their home often, even after the adults found out. But, the preacher was also a rumor monger; and he did not like it because they did not reject me. The rumor he told got to the superintendent of the school system and the superintendent told me to contact the man and ask him to promise to shut up and my already signed contract for the next year would remain valid. But, the man already had his mind made up. Even later when I contacted him to ask him to forgive me since I had gone to a parachurch seminar where the man said to contact those whom you have wrong and thought you have wronged. And the guy in response by letter claimed he had done nothing in the first place and I had not even done him wrong either.

I made lots of trial and error mistakes during my closet days. While I never got a full-time teaching position again, the school superintendent never put anything in my employement file that was negative. I did sub a couple of years after moving back to the Tulsa area.

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