Author Topic: The Holiday Blues  (Read 17583 times)

Online Jeff Wrangler

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Re: The Holiday Blues
« Reply #20 on: November 06, 2007, 08:22:07 pm »
Scott, if the religious implications of the day give you pause, bear in mind (and I know you already know this) that December 25th is just a convention, and one the Church very self-consciously started to overlay pagan Saturnalia with the new state religion. No one knows when Jesus was actually born, though the Gospels would suggest a date in the spring to be far more likely than one in the winter.

OT, but here goes. ...

Scott, I presume you are referring to the fact that according to Luke, the shepherds had their flocks out in the field. (Hmm. Shepherds and sheep. ...  ;) ) However, I think you can make a case, also from Luke, for a winter birth--and I'm guessing maybe this is what Christianity did because it allowed for a preemption of old pagan festivals.

According to Luke, the visitation of the Angel Gabriel to the Virgin Mary occurred in the "sixth month." But what calendar was Luke using? As we know, according to the current Jewish secular calendar, the New Year occurs in the fall, which places the sixth month sometime in the spring--which is when Christianity chose to preempt the pagan Spring Equinox celebration with the Feast of the Annunciation. Of course, nine months after spring--say March--comes December, conveniently allowing for a preemption of the Saturnalia.

Of course, Luke was probably writing for a non-Jewish reader (see Acts 1). Of course, by the Roman calendar--and ours--the first month is January, the sixth month is June--and nine months later is March, and spring--and a far more likely birth date, based on the sheep being out in the fields.  :)
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Offline Ellemeno

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Re: The Holiday Blues
« Reply #21 on: November 09, 2007, 02:15:53 am »
I can relate to different parts of the spectrum represented here.  I have felt a variety of feelings toward the holidays.  One thing that has worked for me is giving myself permission to toss out anything I don't feel like doing.  Now that I have a four and a half year old, I feel like I need/want to do something about each holiday, but I keep it really simple.  For example, the various efforts I put out for Halloween were: go to Walgreen's and pay $2.99 each for Mr. Meno, MiniMeno and I each to have tiger ears and a tiger tail, that we wore with our regular clothes, and voila! we were a family of tigers (MiniMeno's request).  Someone gave her a little pumpkin, and I let her decorate it with washable markers, multiple times.  We also bought one large-ish Halloween blow up decoration thing, and one tiny table Halloween decoration thing, that she liked.  No candy.  She got enough just with various Halloween-oriented people giving her some in the couple of weeks before Halloween.  We are lucky that we have friends who give a Halloween party every year, so that gets to be our main event.  No trick or treating.  (We'll see how long that lasts.)

For Christmas, I plan to do similarly - we have friends who decorate their house and yard insanely, starting Thanksgiving weekend, so most years we go over and help them, and then eventually get around to doing a little bit around our own house.  This works for me.  Also, I try to remember who I really feel responsible for giving gifts to - there are three people in this world who count on me to be their number one present-giver: my mother, my husband, and my child.  Everyone else in my little world does not need to count on me for a gift, so I actually give very few - and we now often give one thing to a whole family when we do give a gift.  And really we are so fortunate with what we have, there is nothing we "need" as Christmas presents.  Last year, MiniMeno really wanted a candy cane, and that's about all she got from Mama and Papa, one little candy cane.  Again, that won't quite work as she gets older.

But wait, this wasn't what I meant to write about in this thread.  I meant to talk about how my husband and I had a family tragedy on our first Christmas Eve and that this brought up a lot of pain for me at Christmastime for several years after.  I basically ignored Christmas as much as I could some years.  I've moved past most of that grief, but still it works for me to keep my Christmas efforts low-key, and choose the parts I love, like Christmas carols.  I am one who early in childhood memorized many stanzas of many Christmas carols and still remember them.  Now I have to gloss over some of the meanings and kind of not think about them, but a lot are still nice, like Good King Wenceslas helping the poor guy out in the cold.

Anyway, I keep it really simple, and that helps.  Noticing people who complain about all they "have" to do for the holidays helps me remember that I'm glad I'm willing to not do much.




Offline belbbmfan

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Re: The Holiday Blues
« Reply #22 on: November 09, 2007, 05:51:34 am »
I posted this in another thread. Here in Belgium a surprising number of people are getting tired of a seemingly never ending 'holiday season' with that dreadfull christmas music (muzak?) in the shops, Santa everywhere and christmas decoration before december has started!
So, a couple of radiotalkshow presenters started a campaign to 'start' the holiday season officially on december 15th. They even have  a sticker you can order. The response has been overwhelming. The shopkeepers aren't happy though  ::).

To see the sticker, click on 'Foto' on this page.

http://radio1.be/programmas/pepi/432017/
'We're supposed to guard the sheep, not eat 'em'

Offline serious crayons

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Re: The Holiday Blues
« Reply #23 on: November 09, 2007, 11:33:20 am »
I'm also a believer in throwing out the things I don't want to do. For example, I haven't sent Christmas cards for several years, because almost anyone I would send them to I already talk to pretty frequently by phone or email or in person anyway. I used to take cute arty shots of my kids giggling in Santa hats or playing in the snow or wrapped in Christmas lights. I would go through rolls of film trying to get just the right shot. That was a hassle but fun, because it felt creative. Now my kids probably wouldn't let me wrap them in lights, their pictures would be cute but not little-kid cute, so I skip it.

Another effort I made was with down-gifting. I like the idea that you mentioned, Elle, of giving gifts only to people who depend on them. I have scaled down a lot in recent years, myself. But it can be tricky.

We have these friends whom we used to see once a year -- at Christmas. We like them, but we're not THAT close. Yet every Christmas they would show up with gifts, plural -- like, five gifts! Some for the whole family, some for just the kids, individual ones for me and my husband ... it was crazy. For a few years I felt obliged to try to keep up. Oddly, we would meet with a third couple with whom, because they are closer friends and could be honest, we'd agreed NOT to exchange gifts. So then we were showering the less-close friends with gifts and stiffing the close friends.

So finally I said, this is ridiculous. I got the overgifters something kind of neutral and tokeny -- an ornament, maybe. And left it at that. They got us a bunch of gifts, we said thanks and handed them their one. And viola, the problem was solved! Because the next year we moved out of town! :laugh:

On the other hand, my brother and I made some kind of pact like that but somehow there was a miscommunication. Last year I got him some pretty nice wine glasses and I think some gourmet food thing, and he got me an ornament. I didn't care, but I think he felt bad.

So it can be kind of an emotional minefield.







Scott6373

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Re: The Holiday Blues
« Reply #24 on: November 09, 2007, 12:01:35 pm »
All of the posts have been interesting, but it seems to me that the reality of this kind of depression is a little lost on most people.  It's not a matter of feeling a little blue, or not being "into" the holiday.  It can (and has been for me) debilitating.

Online Jeff Wrangler

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Re: The Holiday Blues
« Reply #25 on: November 09, 2007, 12:26:04 pm »
All of the posts have been interesting, but it seems to me that the reality of this kind of depression is a little lost on most people.  It's not a matter of feeling a little blue, or not being "into" the holiday.  It can (and has been for me) debilitating.

Have you explored any connection to your professional obligations this time of year? How many Messiahs are you singing this year? I'm not trying to be trivial here, but if you're exhausted from performing, surely that isn't helping your situation any.
"It is required of every man that the spirit within him should walk abroad among his fellow-men, and travel far and wide."--Charles Dickens.

Scott6373

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Re: The Holiday Blues
« Reply #26 on: November 09, 2007, 12:39:09 pm »
Have you explored any connection to your professional obligations this time of year? How many Messiahs are you singing this year? I'm not trying to be trivial here, but if you're exhausted from performing, surely that isn't helping your situation any.

Right now I have 5 scheduled.  I thought that might be an issue, so I consciously limited the number of engagements I took.  I do have to say that these feelings got much worse after my brother passed away, but they have always been there.

Offline Ellemeno

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Re: The Holiday Blues
« Reply #27 on: November 09, 2007, 03:33:20 pm »
All of the posts have been interesting, but it seems to me that the reality of this kind of depression is a little lost on most people.  It's not a matter of feeling a little blue, or not being "into" the holiday.  It can (and has been for me) debilitating.


I'm sorry, Scott, I don't mean to minimize your experience, I'm just speaking about mine.  I think it's wonderful that you are discussing this.  Here's a question - If you could do anything with the holidays (I don't mean magically change the world, just your experience of it), what would that look like?


Scott6373

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Re: The Holiday Blues
« Reply #28 on: November 09, 2007, 03:35:55 pm »

I'm sorry, Scott, I don't mean to minimize your experience, I'm just speaking about mine.  I think it's wonderful that you are discussing this.  Here's a question - If you could do anything with the holidays (I don't mean magically change the world, just your experience of it), what would that look like?



Go away to a lush tropical island..preferrably a non-Christian one (nothing against the Christians out there), and hang out until it was all over.

Offline Ellemeno

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Re: The Holiday Blues
« Reply #29 on: November 09, 2007, 03:40:07 pm »
Go away to a lush tropical island..preferrably a non-Christian one (nothing against the Christians out there), and hang out until it was all over.


People do it.  You have my support.  :)