I agree. Given the complex situation, I think they did the best they could.
I completely disagree. Quitting jobs when your children need to eat so you can meet with your lover isn't 'good' or 'the best anyone could do' by
any stretch of the imagination. That's just selfish and irresponsible, plain and simple.
Neither intentionally set out to harm their kids, and I think Ennis more so than Jack was acutely aware of his responsibilities, though undoubtedly he didn't always get it right, and didn't always do the right thing.
At the end of the film when Alma Jnr visits Ennis to tell him about her engagement she's obviously still close to her father (the fact he doesn't know her fiance's name is I think more of a "father" thing than any sign of distance between her and Ennis IMHO from the easy way she laughs with him about it though) and in the SS's prologue Ennis says that he "might have to stay with his married daughter" (presumably Alma Jnr), which suggests they still have a good relationship.
It may not necessarily be
good. Ennis' daughter in the story may just be dutiful. A friend of mine would never turn her mother away if she was unemployed and needing a place to stay. I've seen her do it. And she despises her mother, was emotionally abused by her and still is. But to her, the woman is
still her mother, so she won't turn her away. Another friend of mine is having Easter dinner with her father tonight. She's been having long talks with him recently, ever since she learned he has come out of remission and is probably terminal with lymphoma. And he physically, emotionally and verbally abused her her entire childhood. She also despises him, and time has not changed him. He isn't sorry for what he did to her, completely unapologetic. But, she figures, the man is dying, what's she going to do? Turn away his gestures?
Parents and their children can be held together by all sorts of things, it isn't necessarily indicative of a 'good' relationship between them.