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Your Funeral

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keller:

--- Quote from: Katie77 on September 15, 2008, 08:48:27 pm ---What I have found about funerals, is that they end up being more of a reunion, because people who havent seen one another for a long time, turn up at them. The sad thing about that is that the person who connects all these people, is not there to enjoy the reunion as well.

--- End quote ---

My mom was sick for five years with cancer. Her family never visited her when she was alive because they were afraid to fly. My dad was really mad that they showed up for the funeral. Far better to visit her alive than her in a coffin.

Kerry:

--- Quote from: keller on October 04, 2008, 10:36:36 pm ---My mom was sick for five years with cancer. Her family never visited her when she was alive because they were afraid to fly. My dad was really mad that they showed up for the funeral. Far better to visit her alive than her in a coffin.

--- End quote ---

I agree. I wish my brothers had been more attentive while Mum was alive.

Kelda:
 :-\ :'(

BlissC:
My one of my grandad's last wishes was that as he wanted to be cremated, he wanted the music "The Stripper" playing as the coffin went through the curtains. I thought it was a great idea. It was just *so* my grandad. He had a wicked sense of humour, and it would have been very fitting for him. It caused a huge family row and a lot of the family said we couldn't possibly do it as it would offend a lot of the people there. There was a compromise in the end, and it was agreed that we wouldn't do it at the crematorium, but we'd play it at the wake afterwards. My uncle did the speak, and ended with "...and thanks for coming!" That was always my grandad's parting shot. Even when he was really ill not long before he died, he'd say (usually when you were in mid-sentence talking about something), "well, thanks for coming", and you knew that meant he'd had enough of you and it was time to go. Of course everyone who knew him well, knew that and laughed (those who didn't just looked bewildered as to why everyone else was laughing), and then my other uncle pressed "play" on the pre-cued recording of "The Stripper" we'd got ready. Again, most people knew why we were playing that, and everyone toasted him.

That would be pretty cool (though I'd have to insist that they did it at the funeral and not afterwards, otherwise I'd go back and haunt them  :laugh:)

A couple of years ago when my aunty died, she'd made very detailed plans for exactly what she wanted for her funeral, down to the hymns, the readings and everything, and it was followed to the letter. She had oesophogeal cancer and before she got too ill, she started a note-book with detailed notes on exactly what she wanted for the funeral etc. and who was to get what of her possessions, and various notes on who to invite, who to get to cater the wake - everything, and she made notes for my cousin on everything that would need to be cancelled and other things that would need sorting out and people who needed to be notified when she died. Apart from her plans for the funeral her other wish was that the line-dancing class that she went to would do a dance at the wake afterwards, so mid-way through the wake they all got up (and of course had taken along their boots for the occasion) and did the dance. My mum joined in as although we live at opposite ends of the country, she goes to a local line-dancing class and knew the dance they were doing (my aunty had specified that as well). If I remember rightly it was an Eva Cassidy song, "Fields of Gold" (or it may have been "Silver Threads and Golden Needles") but I do remember it was a dance called 'Black Coffee' as that was always my aunty's favourite.

That would be pretty cool too. Hmmm...given the fact my mum will regular come into my 'office' and comment "Oohh! I think I can do a line dance to this!" to whatever I happen to be playing at the time, I'm sure I could find a suitable Faithless song for line dancing to!

 :laugh: :laugh:

Kerry:

I've mentioned this elsewhere, here, but it's probably worth briefly raising again.

I knew an elderly lady (over 100) who, though English, had been a believing, practicing Buddhist most of her adult life (for over 80 years). She had been an academic in her working life and Buddhism was always an integral aspect of who/what she was. It permeated every aspect of her life, right down to the way her home was decorated. We don't consider this to be so unusual these days, but it must have appeared quite unusual in England in the 1920s.

She was fit as a fiddle and in full control of her faculties right up to the end, and had always insisted that she wanted a Buddhist funeral. Alas, both her daughters, aged in their 80s at the time, wanted an Anglican (Church of England) funeral service for their mother, and went about making the appropriate plans.

A mutual friend, who had been very close to the deceased for many years, had to do a lot of fast talking to convince the daughters that their mother would be appalled to have an Anglican priest saying Christian prayers over her. They didn't like the idea but finally saw sense and called in the monk to give their mother the Buddhist funeral she so desired.

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