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Your Funeral
BlissC:
That's interesting. A friend of mine's dad died about 5 years ago now, very suddenly. She was at work when she heard (we worked in the same department) and she just dashed off when she got the phone call, but called me a couple of hours later to ask me to let her manager know why she'd disappeared and what was happening. I remember phoning her just before the funeral and she was saying she was really nervous because her dad was a humanist (I'd no idea what that even was until I looked it up - here) and he'd said he wanted a humanist funeral. Of course a lot of the family wanted the full church funeral and everything, but his wife and daughter, my friend stuck to their guns and said they were going to do it the way he'd wanted. Afterwards though she said it had been really nice, and not like the typical funeral service at all, and she was glad they'd done what her dad wanted.
Last year I went to two funerals. The first was that of a close friend who'd had breast cancer. It was particularly difficult because my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer 8 years ago, and my mum and I actually met Andrea at one of my mum's hospital appointments. It ended up with a whole gang of us who we met up with at the hospital originally meeting up every Friday morning for coffee, and those of us left still carry on the tradition, though sadly three of the group have died over the past couple of years. Andrea's funeral though particularly upset me because she was never religious at all - hated religion! (I agree with her on that one!) Her husband though insisted on having the full religious ceremony, and I was doing quite well at the funeral though I was off work ill at the time and feeling pretty crap anyway, until they started on with the readings, and there was one particular one where it was something about god talking her under his wing and caring for her for all eternity, and it was at that point I just lost it. She would have hated that. She didn't believe in anything like that, and I just felt it was so wrong. I was upset because she'd died, but at the time I was also very angry that they'd gone completely against her wishes, and it felt like betraying her.
Later in the year when my grandma died, similarly it was the full religious ceremony, but in her case, she did believe in all that. She would have loved it! Though I knew she believed, I never have done, but if anything it made me feel worse. I guess it was mainly the fact that she'd been seriously ill for a long time, and ended up living with us until the day she died, and it really wasn't a good way to go. The night she died, I had nightmares though about these winged creatures, and though I've never believed in anything like that, I just got the sense that she wasn't at rest. The religion of the funeral just brought all that back.
I guess it's in a way a tricky question of who a funeral's for - whether it's for the person who's died, or for those who are left behind. Some people see it as a celebration of the person's life, others as mourning of their passing. I guess there's no easy answer - funerals are rarely pleasant events, and always highly emotionally charged.
ZK:
My Dad passed away a few years ago. Full Requiem Mass, my Brothers both spoke about Dad, I knew I wouldn't be able to, so I elected to play my flute..
As for my own, full Mass for me, however music has been an extremely important part of my life so as it will be my last chance for people to know who I really was, I have quite a selection of music I want played. I also want to be buried with all my favourite things in life (books etc) hey I might only be 5'4" but my coffin better be big enough for all the stuff I want to take with me
Kelda:
--- Quote from: ZK on December 31, 2008, 05:24:18 am ---I also want to be buried with all my favourite things in life (books etc) hey I might only be 5'4" but my coffin better be big enough for all the stuff I want to take with me
--- End quote ---
:laugh: :-* :-* :-*
Artiste:
I have been thinking a lot about this lately:
Your funeral. An unlikely and inappropriate thread for us happy folk here at Bettermost, you may think? And yet, it comes to us all, one day; death. It's part of the human condition. It is an integral aspect of what makes us people - "Bettermost People."
Some people plan their funerals in minute detail. Others figure they won't be here anyway, so why not just leave it to the family to organise.
I personally believe that funerals are for the living, not the dead. It's an opportunity for the living to formally farewell their loved ones and attain closure.
A lot of us give thought to the kind of funeral we feel would be appropriate for us. Be it the pomp and solemnity of a Roman Catholic Requiem Mass or a New Age scattering of ashes onto the waters of the ocean at dusk.
Would your funeral be a traditional event with everyone dressed in black in a traditional place of worship, such as a grand cathedral? Or would you prefer to have a joyous celebration of life, where all your loved ones come together to laugh and remember all their happy memories of you?
What form would you like your funeral to take? I would be interested to hear your thoughts.
.................
You do pose a good question!!
Indeed, because this has happenned to me lately since my brother was dying and did past away!
And I still wonder about the above!
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