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Born Gay?

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Katie77:
Is  sexual orientation genetic ?

There must have been discussion on that somewhere in here....and no doubt, studies and theories on that subject.

brokeplex:

--- Quote from: Katie77 on September 21, 2008, 06:41:45 pm ---Is  sexual orientation genetic ?

There must have been discussion on that somewhere in here....and no doubt, studies and theories on that subject.

--- End quote ---

yes, I believe there have been several thread discussing this subject.

I am on the side that it is genetic or at least preprogrammed in the womb, therefore an immutable characteristic and not a choice.

Kerry:

--- Quote from: Katie77 on September 21, 2008, 06:01:49 pm ---Yes, Kerry, I have read about your partnership and eventual break up with George, and was amazed at the similar events of your relationship and that of my Dad and his partner.

Just out of curiosity, I wonder if the circumstances of WHY they wanted to get married were similar.

In Allen's case, in the partnership he had with Dad, he was like the "female" side of the relationship. He did the cooking and the household chores, and Dad was the one who virtually controlled all the major decisions in their lives.  Remembering that this was back in the sixties, when that was the norm for most relationships.  Allen more or less became the "bored housewife" and wanted to make some decisions of his own and get out of the kitchen.

Of course there was more to it than that, but that was the beginning of the breakdown of the relationship.

Talk about "human nature, being a funny old thing", for the past 10 years Allen has once again reverted to the "house husband" role. While his wife continues with her career, he now maintains the house, does the cooking and such, and is quite happy doing so.

--- End quote ---

I've never been one to adhere to the old "butch" and "bitch" stereotypes when it comes to gay relationships. Mainly because I know for a fact, through much experience, that what you see is not necessarily what you get when it comes to gay men - in Australia anyway - I can't speak for the rest of the world. I won't generalise, and this is certainly not so in all cases; however, in my experience, often the most seemingly butch gay men are extremely passive in the bedroom. They love to be made love to. It is my personal belief that they are so very involved in their own body beautiful and the mystique of their masculinity, that all they want to do when having sex is to just lie back and be adored by their partner. And God knows how many times I've noticed the seemingly fem person in a relationship playing the predominantly dominant role in the home; i.e., running the home, giving the orders, etc.

George and I certainly did not act-out any stereotypical roles in our relationship (we were together during the 70s & 80s). We were equals. We shared the chores equally. We both had jobs. We contributed to the running of the home equally. Having said that, however, to the outside observer, George certainly does come across as a very masculine man. It was one of the main things that attracted me to him. He had just left the Royal Australian Navy when we met and was, in fact, actually wearing his "eights" (RAN work uniform) on the day we met. His masculinity was one of the primary aspects of his psyche that drew me to him.

I know exactly what it was that prompted George to marry. It was AIDS. In the early/mid-80s, AIDS really hit the headlines big-time, here in Australia. And there was lots of hysteria involved. I remember one particular state health minister (he was later arrested and jailed for fraud), announcing on nation-wide television, that all AIDS sufferers should be rounded up and quarantined on an island on the Great Barrier Reef. Homophobia was rife and there were hideous witch hunts in the media and community.

Whereas my reaction to all this hysteria was to keep my head down and take comfort from the security of a stable relationship with George, George alas did not share my perspective. George was terrified of getting AIDS (we didn't know a lot about AIDS back then, or how it was contracted). To cut a long story short, George thought the best way to avoid AIDS, and therefore remain alive, was to "become" straight. He had apparently always been bisexual; something I was not aware of during our partnership. Suffice to say George and I continue in good health and never did get AIDS.

So why does George remain with Margaret? Only George can answer that question. George was always one for routine. Just a habit, perhaps? He always did and still does like everything to be ship shape and Bristol fashion! I have no doubt George loves Margaret in his own way.

Kerry:

--- Quote from: brokeplex on September 21, 2008, 06:32:21 pm ---I have one older sister. I have 3 cousins on one side of the family who are gay, and 2 on the other who are also gay. I had a now deceased uncle who was gay, and I strongly suspect that my paternal grandfather was gay. I inheirited his papers, and there are interesting letters.

--- End quote ---

I've often suspect some genetic aspect to the gay equation. Certainly, I have a gay brother, gay nephew and  gay uncle that I know of.

Katie77:
Yes Kerry, I remember the uproar about AIDS, and the hysteria that we witnessed here in Australia as they obviously did too all over the world. The grim reaper commercials, OMG, so many conflicting theories on the subject. No doubt would have been a very scarey time in the gay community.

Reflecting now, back on my Dad and Allens situation, the fact that they never "came out" to society, may have had a lot to do with Allen's decision as well. Of course they had their gay friends and were out to them, but to the rest of society, they pretended to be brothers, Allen changing his name by deed poll, to make it even more authentic.  That in itself must have been hard enough to live with day in, day out.

I guess by marrying, Allen foresaw a "normal" lifestyle. I have no doubt that he loves his wife, and they seem extremely comfortable with each other.

Oh just on another coincidence, my husband also paid off from the navy in 1973, after serving 9 years. As much as there are numerous jokes about the navy and gayness, neither my hubby nor I (once I married him) knew, or knew of, any sailor who was homosexual.  ....thats not to say that they were not there. Back then, before I or hubby ever had any gaydar, I doubt we would have noticed if it was displayed right in front of us, although I do remember one crew mate of my hubbys, who was probably bi-sexual. His girlfriend was a go go dancer at Whisky A Go Go but he was also "very friendly" with an entrepreneur from America, who we read somewhere later, was gay. Of course, our reflections on the navy mates were from a straight perspective, Im sure your George, may have seen some of the crew in a different light all together.

Its all very interesting, isn't it.

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