So what have you kept of your past loves? What was the context of you acquiring the item? what does it mean to you now?
For me, it's a small pocket knife. In high school, there was a boy in my class with whom I felt a strong emotional connection. It was more than lustful infatuation since the majority of my thoughts were not about sex, but rather intimacy with him. I kept day dreaming about burying my face into the crook of his neck and breathing in the fresh scent of early afternoon sweat. This was during a very confusing time, as I was still struggling with my own sexuality, and hadn't quite accepted myself as I am. My feeling for him was just more confusion to deal with. Looking back, there might have been some reciprocation of feelings. I remember in French class, toward the end of our senior year, I was talking to somebody, and he came up behind me, wrapped his arms around me and lifted me up in a bear hug from behind. I felt his entire body pressed again mine. That's not a random thing that teenage boys do, is it? There's meaning there, or am I projecting?
Earlier in the year, we were working on a project, and he lent me a pocket knife to cut something. I found that pocket knife a few days ago, while cleaning out some stuff. I don't think I intended to steal the knife from him, but I remember I kept hesitating to return it to him. I just wanted to keep holding it in my palm. (very Freudian, I know) So in the end, I guess I hesitated too long and the chance to return it passed. And the thing is, he never asked for it back, either. More projecting on my part, quizas.