~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%

[alec716]

Wad are ya waitn fer, a freeken bra and knickers as well?!

CHER:

Look, MR. RAYMILLE, if you had to share a dressing room with WHITNEY HOUSTON,



you'd still be looking for your effen' bra and knickers too! 

[Daniel]

YOUNG JACK:

((Distracted from trying to see if Jimbo was allright by a red blurry object rolling by, Jack focuses his attention on the red hat more closely.))

%% Is that a Vera Wang Royal Carmine Limited Edition? Those are upwards of $700.00. It shouldn't be rolling around in the dust like that.%%

((Jack snatches the hat off the ground and dusts it off a bit. He admires the signature on the label inside.))

%% Now who could this belong to? That girl in the red I reckon.%%

Ma'am, I think ya dropped this.

((Jack reluctantly holds the hat out to the girl, admiring the way the fur felt feels against his hand. He wondered for a moment if he would look good in it. Would Jimbo notice him or think it was silly. Would Ennis.... Jack wasn't quite ready to go down that line.))

[alec716]

(( CHER remembers that she is CHER and does not need knickers or a bra.  That should save some time.  ))

[alec716]

(( Before running to the ANNOUNCER's booth high above the rodeo ring, a still undergarment-impaired CHER leaves some bait outside her trailer for that hottie stud-muffin man MONROE.  ))



CHER:

Can I have one more minute to try to find a bra, please?!

[alec716]

CHER:

OK, alright, alright, sometimes a girl just needs a minute to find the perfect outfit for the occasion!



(( Cowgirl CHER ascends the stairs to the ANNOUNCER's booth.  ))

[henrypie]

Mi-mi-mi-mi....

(warming up)

[alec716]

(( Having effectuated one more costume change while ascending the stairs to the ANNOUNCER's booth, CHER grips the microphone and welcomes the crowd.  Her husky and alluring baritone floats over the crowd like Dust in the Wind... oh wait, we're in Texas, not Kansas.. sorry   ))



CHER:

Hello all you gypsies, tramps, thieves, & rodeo clowns!  Before we talk about LUREEN, I just gotta ask, anyone know where MONROE is?

[YaadPyar]

** The art of Feng Shui prescribes the use of faceted crystals, especially balls to facilitate the flow of positive energy.  **

** Additionally, the ba gua mirror is the ultimate feng shui device to create good fortune and to protect against bad energy.  **

** In an apparent tour de force of feng shui, there's been a confluence of a faceted crystal and ba gua mirror, resulting in a whole new energetic experience! **

[alec716]

** The art of Feng Shui prescribes the use of faceted crystals, especially balls to facilitate the flow of positive energy.  Additionally, the ba gua mirror is the ultimate feng shui device to create good fortune and to protect against bad energy. 

[

(( Feeling brave, CHER asks... ))



CHER:

Speaking of balls and force  , again I ask, WHERE IS MONROE?

[Mikaela]

THE SELF-APPOINTED GURU at the “FINE FOOD IS FUTILE” TREATMENT RETREAT:


((Has retired to the windowless room for the inmates’ guests’ contemplation and confession of culinary wrongdoings – which also happens to be where all meals are served.))

((Is preparing the inmates' guests’ main meal for the day, especially designed to demonstrate how all culinary delight is vain. This is an important part of the cure.))


**I’m happy to have found my calling in life! Instead of wasting my talents on ungratefully dumb hungry shepherds, I can help those poor souls who cry out for help in their dire need to fight their inappropriate culinary urges.**


((Opens the last can of beans to be served for the day. All is now ready.))


**I’ve a true talent! I can cure them! Help them get their lascivious haute cuisine urges under control! Permanent lock and key! I was born to spread the message that what you stuff in your gob is meant for survival and life’s continuance, not pleasure! THERE'S TO BE NO DELIGHT!**


((Notices a slip of paper on the floor. It has been pushed under the door a while ago, but the light is so dim in the contemplation room that the note has gone unnoticed. Picks note up and reads:  ))

Revered and enlightened guru,

It is with regret but also with self-accptance that I have to inform you I’m leaving the Retreat for good. After much soul-searching I’ve realized that my culinary delights define me. I am a gastronome! I WILL ALWAYS SAY THAT PROUDLY FROM THIS DAY ON when I look in the mirror!  Even if I may have to hide this REAL me away from the world, and I realize I will have to live in danger and fear of one day being spotted while preparing Chicken Marengo, so be it. I cannot hide the truth from myself. I’m not ashamed. I will no longer run from who I am.

All the best, and please please please would you at least heat those beans of yours properly before you serve them, for hygiene reasons if not for culinary ones!!!

Yours in hungry haste,
Monroe



%% S**t! There goes another one! I have to work harder to cure'em! Feed’em less, – scare’em more! %%