~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%

[welliwont]

%% Poor thing. Probably couldn't pay her rent any more and had to get back to this job. Maybe I should talk about some business ideas with her one of these days... %%

JAKETWIST:

**whispering:  I already have one business idea in mind, dear Anke Spanky, I mean Madame Props Magician.  Maybe we can get together later on and discuss?  All I can say is it involves DVD's, and the PT.**

PS:  GOOD GRIEF!!  Where are my manners??     Thank you for the warm welcome back Magician Spanky!  Glad you to see you back as well!!  Yeehawww!!

[Ray]

= WooHooooooo great to see you all back.  Missed your presence.  'taint tha same without you. I've already had Mel on the phone demanding I send you back, so I told him you were circumcised and he went away quietly. =

[Ray]

Fast or slow... in any direction .... I'd like to be goin'.

(( looks longingly into Jack's eyes.  ))

%% No one has eva sed nothing so sweet ta me afore.  I's thinking I's falling for this guy!%%

((Rips off Jack's bunch elastic Bonds 8 pack undies and commences ta chaw))

Hey look at I found down here, a Royal Doulton serving plate and a set of silver cutlery.  %%Man, this guy will be sarch a great provider! %%

%% Slow ya spinnin' down pasties.  You'll have me boobs looking like taffy if'n ya keep twirlin' so fast, and Daydy didn't pay all them big bucks for 'em to come out lookin' like taffy!

Hey Jack, I understand the value of the antique clock, tha expensive dinnerware, the lawn mower, and even this brass door knocker, but why d'ya bother stealin' these eight purple crystal balls...?  Sorry, six!  ...................I gotta puke! 

Some fool put a bucket outside without telling us!  I almost vomited right into it!!

[Daniel]

YOUNG JACK:

((Jack was thankful that he managed to get all that down in there, though he had forgotten them for the moment. )) %% Hey, wait a minute, lawnmower? I didn't get a lawnmower. Still,... if it'll keep her off me...%%

Hey, hey, hey! Those are personal.

((As Lureen leans out the window to vomit on the ground, missing the bucket by mere centimeters, Jack finds himself scratching his head.))

I think it might be those spinnin' things that're makin ya sick. They been goin' on this whole time?

((As long as the scene has been, Jack can't believe he is about to say this line.))

Well you are in a hur - a bit hairy. You been takin' hormones or somethin? That'll make ya sick too.

((Jack wonders for a moment where his other two amethyst spheres went, then sees the bulge in Lureen's cheeks.))

Lureen, that's a collection I'm savin' up for a very special person, so if ya don't mind...

((Jack reaches into her mouth and gently extracts the two amethyst balls to finish his collection, grabbing her brassiere to clean the vomit off them.))

[Ray]

Hey, I was eating those!

((Takes knee out of Jack's chest))

Mah Daydy's tha hurry.  He want's me home with tha car by midnight!

((Rams pasties into Jack's eyes.  Kisses Jack on lips, tongue jammed right in.))

[Daniel]

YOUNG JACK:

Lady, I don't want to know how hairy your daddy is. That's just not somethin' I need ta know. But --

((Still restrained by Lureen's other leg braced against his neck, he could not move his head as she removed her pasties and stuck them over his eyes.))

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH !!!!!  IT BURNS !!

** Apparently someone forgot to tell Lureen that that particular body glue should be kept away from the eye area.**

((He considered biting down hard on that tongue shoved down his throat, but his mama had raised him right.))

[DeeDee]

LUREEN'S PASTIES:


%%Hey! Wait a minute lady! Stop pushing me into those ....oooh sexy, stunning blue eyes. Wow, I can get on board with this here fella. Wish he had something I could stick to.

((Notices Jack's pants))

%%hmmmmm....%%

[Ray]

Righto then, it's 20 minutes to midnight!  Now, working backwards, if I allocate 49 seconds ta close the garage door, a four minute detour at the all night food stop plus eight seconds to eat, 12 minutes to driving home, a minute and a half for a post coital cigarette, an' three seconds for our goodbyes, 32 seconds ta mop up and warshrag our stash, leaving us approximately 16 free seconds after we have sex.  Wanna game of knuckles?   

You look good in mah pasties bah the way!

[alec716]

 
(( As LUREEN tries to engage a dazed JACK in a sweet, wholesome post-coital game of knuckles, CHER escapes the grip of the Artistic Integrity Police and, summoning the strength of a thousand righteously aggrieved divas, wrenches LUREEN's car door open so that she may retrieve what is rightfully hers, the SPINNING PASTIES, which, when autographed, will be extremely valuable on eBay.  As CHER opens the car door, she sees an overwhelmed, frightened, oxygen-deprived, and yet oddly sated JACK, too out of it even to rub his abraded eyelids, slide out and hit the ground...  ))



(( Sympathetic to the state that poor JACK is in, and hoping to put him there herself someday, CHER declines to donate some used wigs to the coif-impaired LUREEN.  Glad to have liberated that sweet post-coital hunk, better late than never, and glad that she has his phone number and onset trailer location memorized, CHER drives off to celebrate the repaste-triation of her pasties with



DAVID TASSLE-HOFF, who is taking a break from shooting his hit television series BAMwatch.  ))

[DeeDee]

LUREEN'S PASTIES:

%% Whew.. All this swooshing back and forth between divas is really tiring, but I sure am glad we got some time to "stick" around with Jack and his "friends".  Now our momma has come to save us from this blonde hoochie with the bad hairdo, and bring us back up on stage where we belong.  Can't wait to see the others again. %%