~~THE PERFORMANCE THREAD~~ **aside** ((action)) %%thought%%

[Daniel]

YOUNG JACK:

((Jack listens to the sounds in the forest around him, learning to distinguish each one as something natural and not frightening in the least way. He sits, still, his back against the tree's trunk, looking up at the moon until its eerie glow vanishes and is replaced by a clear glass field, with only the stars sparkling through.))

%% I forgot Ms. Moon's autograph! Darn it!%%

((Soon, however, he hears a sound that is not quite as natural as the ones he was listening to before. A rapid plop, plop, plop like little feet scampering across the ground. He gets up to investigate.))

**Hello? Anyone there?**

((The plopping sound stops, and Jack sees something small and white lying in the path. He leans down closer to have a better look.))

%% Wait, its my lotion. I've been missin' this for years now. Last I saw it, was up on Brokeback. The night me and Ennis, um.... yeah.%%

((Jack picks up JBB tenderly.))

%% It sure knows how to get around. %%

[saucycobblers]

((JBB feels himself being levitated from the leafy forest floor he's been struggling through these past 4 hours, after he took a wrong turn at the laundromat and completely missed the motel gift shop)).

%% Hey YOUNG JACK! Good ta see ya bud! Now listen big boy, there's no time ta lose. Ya gotta help me find somewhere sells postcards! %%

[Daniel]

YOUNG JACK:

%% Right you are. Umm, I think there's a little shop on the set over here....%%

((Jack was not at all disquieted by the harmonious telepathic measures that JBB seemed to be communicating with him with. It came as no surprise to him, particularly when he realized that JBB had been telepathically communicating with him all this time, and he had just easily forgotten it.))

((Jack puts JBB in his front pocket, and swiftly makes his way back to the set.))

%% Gotta be on the lookout, JBB. There's somethin' weird goin' on tonight. Can't quite put my finger on it.%%

((He walks into the Broken Arsed Mountain souvenir gift shop, newly installed by Guy and the Un Ltd crew, and looks to see what they have.))

%% It looks like all they have are these Broken Arsed ones... Will they do?%%


http://www.cafepress.com/brokenarsed.67206199

[saucycobblers]

((JBB is enjoying the warmth of YOUNG JACK's front pocket, nestling in his welcoming PANTS and feeling like he's back where he belongs)).

%% Whut?? Yeah, they're just the thing! Err... could ya spare me a loan bud, I'm so broke I'm nearly in the poorhouse! Ain't even got enough fer this postcard! And... um... *blushes*... could ya write it fer me too? %%

[Daniel]

YOUNG JACK:

%% Sure!... Well, provided that the sales clerk here ain't possessed by sumthin' ... unnatural.%%

((Jack walks up to the sales clerk with the postcard in hand and seeing no slashes through the SALES CLERK's name, relaxes visibly.))

**Whew, I thought you was one of those snatched people... I mean... Well you coulda been. I'll jest take these, then.**

((Jack lays down a few bills at the stand and quickly walks out, shaking his head at the offer of change. He takes JBB back to his trailer where he's got a pen handy.))

[alec716]

YOUNG JACK:

((Jack surreptitiously follows Ennis to Alma's trailer, hiding in the shadows. He is astonished to see a much younger looking Ennis Heath slip in through her back door. ))

VICK:

&&  How'd he slip in her back door without me around to help?  Damn, she must be getting, um, practice...  &&

[Cher]

((Cassie walks in with her bum cheeks falling out the bottom of her hot pants and promptlyy falls over in her high wedges - she picks herself up off the floor hoping noone will notice But Terry Cloth notices - and sniggers - she nearly begins to cry))

(( This news reaches CHER in her guest room bed at NEVERLAND RANCH



and she races back to the set to give yet more of herself.  That's just how she is.  Recognizing that her bum cheeks and her bum cheeks alone are fit to hang out of clothes, and recalling the TIMMY debacle with a cold shiver, CHER recognizes her duty to uplift and accessorize the fashion-impaired.  ))

CHER:

Dear CASSIE, you sweet, well-intentioned but sorely misguided walking fashion felony, victim of your decade, come into my trailer and we'll find you something to wear.

(( About 15 minutes later, Lucise and Guy arrive at The Bavarian Inn .. where they are greeted at the door by the hostess Martha, a cute lady in a dirndl and apron ..

CHER:

And you, dirndl girl, come on, there's hope for you too!

And MR. MILLINER, peacock feathers are SO 1970s

...

can we go for a more modern feather look?



(( The trio, CHER and her pupils, heads off to CHER's Wardrobe Trailer Number 5.  CHER stops to call BAM onset security to remove the unsexy AUDIENCE MEMBER's hand from her semi-private area.  ))

[Daniel]

YOUNG JACK:

** Hey, I happen to like peacock feathers!! Does this mean ya don't want the hat?**

[Cher]

YOUNG JACK:

** Hey, I happen to like peacock feathers!! Does this mean ya don't want the hat?**

(( Learning for the first time that JACK wants to be uplifted and accessorized, CHER generously invites him to accompany herself, CASSIE, and the dirndl girl into her trailer.  ))

CHER:

Sure, cowboy... it's all yours!

(( CHER rustles through her Sacred Concert Tour Relics Wardrobe Trunk for other treasures for her new disciples.  ))

CHER: 

Here, JACK, want a cup a moisturizer, don't 'cha?  Piece a co  Peacock hat?

[Daniel]

YOUNG JACK:

**I can't take no moisturizer right now. But the hat's mighty hansome.**

((Jack tries on the hat and tries to look in one of Cher's mirrors. They all seem to be angled so only Cher is reflected in them.))

** You gotta mirror that works around here?**