Taking Chances, by E. L. Van Hine and L.H. Nicoll

[littleguitar]

I think I understand if he wants to give his death to Jack.  It's the only thing left that he CAN give him, whereas he can give Ellery everything else.

This is so so well said. 

[Lumière]

By the way I was really angry at Ennis the other day for saying infront of Ellery that " when I die, I want to be here with Jack"  I mean how insensitve.  Or am I becoming an Elleryaholic?

It is interesting too that when Ennis made that statement, he didn't even realise what he had said, when Ellery got upset, he didn't even clue in that that comment had a huge impact on Ellery at the very moment.  It does makes sense that he would want his ashes to end up on the mountain, he loves Jack, loves Brokeback, loves camping up there, he spent many moments of happiness up there with Jack .. but Ennis saying that to Ellery must've hurt him like a bitch. 
I know it'll never happen, but I know Ennis would more than freak out if Ellery ever said he'd like to be buried with Beag ..lol, even though we know that they didn't have close to what Jack and Ennis had. 

What matters now is that they talked it through, Ennis is dealing with missing Jack but understands how much Ellery means to him, Ellery is admitting his insecurities to himself and Ennis .. and they both know that they love each other deeply. 

[louisev]

That makes a lot of sense to me and I think this may be, in large part, why I had trouble with the Larmie Saga when I first started reading it. There were parts in the first book where even just a paragraph or a sentence would set me off sobbing and I wouldn't understand why other than that I felt it was all so damn unfair to Jack.

I've started rereading the whole saga over the past couple of days though and the first book isn't as difficult for me after having gotten through the rest. I realized last night that this was because when I began reading I was still knee deep in my own grief over Jack and hadn't realized how much I had been holding on to it and how much all that sobbing and anger I went through while reading the first book really helped me move past that grief. It was the last thing I ever expected from a fan fic but, now, looking back, it's probably also the best thing I've ever gotten out of one.

this is fascinating.  Because one of the things I have perhaps struggled TOO hard with is to try to understand why what I wrote triggers this process off.  Is it the detailed depiction of the past relationship with Jack?  Is it the fact that Ennis himself is struggling?  Or because he really does fall in love again?  I am wondering what it is that is so poignant for people that it triggers off the intense grief reaction... and you are the first one to have given me any insight at all into it, having first struggled through it and then gone on and come back to look at it afresh.  THANKS!

[MadLori]

This is so so well said.

I'ma professional.  don't try this at home.

heh heh

[louisev]

yes, I am typing. I can hear you all drumming your fingers.

I'm typing I'm typing!

[Lumière]

I added some of the latest pix posted here to the Gallery ..
That thread is getting heavy from all the pictures, I sometimes have problems posting to it from home.. 


For all newcomers, you can check out our Gallery here:
http://bettermost.net/forum/index.php?topic=3719.0

Enjoy!

[gn411]

"Ennis is going to live with Ellery and cry with him and be there with him through good things and bad things and they're going to have fights and make up and celebrate anniversaries and build their own home and family.

Ennis is giving his life to Ellery.  I think I understand if he wants to give his death to Jack.  It's the only thing left that he CAN give him, whereas he can give Ellery everything else."

Very profound Madlori!  Insight.  And to the authors credit, I read something and felt something.

[notBastet]

By the way I was really angry at Ennis the other day for saying infront of Ellery that " when I die, I want to be here with Jack"  I mean how insensitve.  Or am I becoming an Elleryaholic?

Hah hah!  I was angry, too!  But I forgave him pretty quick...

[louisev]

Update to "The Long Way Home"

http://louisev.livejournal.com/110976.html  "Chapter 31: Deathbed Secrets."

[louisev]

I thought a little while about what to say concerning Ennis's comment about wanting to be buried on Brokeback.  He was largely talking to Jack at that moment, and Ellery was aware of it.  But it struck Ellery very hard, and caused him to retreat.  It was only when Ellery backed away physically that Ennis became aware of his response.

However, to Ennis it is a perfectly natural desire, just as natural as the desire to make the memorial and then to add his name to it.  It isn't that he doesn't understand that this would bother Ellery... just that it is something Ennis must do regardless.