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Gay marriage handbook
delalluvia:
--- Quote from: Jeff Wrangler on November 10, 2008, 07:18:37 pm ---Of course, I hate to be the wet blanket here, but it seems to me their choice of what to wear unfortunately illustrates a stereotype about lesbians--one's in a suit, the other's in a gown. ("Which one's the 'man'/'husband'?" :( )
It was a sweet and funny article. I wonder whether the Norquists are any relation to Dubya's adviser Grover Norquist? ???
--- End quote ---
Not the only wet blanket. My thought exactly. Ellen DeGeneres did the same thing - I would have married Portia in that dress, she was so amazing looking - and Ellen wore a not flattering suit. Nothing screams MAN MAN MAN at a lesbian wedding than one of the spouses wearing a suit. :P
I very much enjoyed the article though, but the below quote tells me this couple still has some issues to iron out about commitment - the writer in serious denial she's planning a wedding and her fiance saying,
She appeared confused. “You want to wear a nightgown to our wedding?”
“It’s not a wedding!” I shrieked. “It’s a party about love!”
Jeff Wrangler:
--- Quote from: delalluvia on November 10, 2008, 08:02:08 pm ---Not the only wet blanket. My thought exactly. Ellen DeGeneres did the same thing - I would have married Portia in that dress, she was so amazing looking - and Ellen wore a not flattering suit. Nothing screams MAN MAN MAN at a lesbian wedding than one of the spouses wearing a suit. :P
--- End quote ---
Thanks, Del. If the same thought occurred to you, then it wasn't just me being sexist. ... ;D
Jeff Wrangler:
Tell you what, I just skimmed back over the article because something about it has been nagging at me for a day or two, since I read it. I just gave it a quick re-read, but, am I just missing it, or does the author spend so much time fussing over the damn dress that she never tells us whether or not they exchanged rings? ???
My friends who were married in Amsterdam (on a canal barge, under a bridge) in August exchanged rings.
In the picture of the author alone, it looks like she might be wearing a ring on the traditional wedding-ring finger.
Some time soon I want to share what I would like to do if I'm ever in a position to have a ceremony--which isn't likely.
Ellemeno:
Cute. My kind of writing.
Brown Eyes:
Well, about the suit / dress controversy and lesbian weddings... the only lesbian wedding I've ever been to was in MA (so it was legal!) and it was my best lesbian friend Amy marrying her girlfriend Stacy. And, Amy wore a white sundress and Stacy wore a light suit. It was an outdoor, fairly casual wedding in terms of style. There were 150 people there though... and the reception was enormous.
In their case, their choice of outfits definitely reflects and extremely deliberate aspect of their overall relationship which is butch-femme. Both Amy and Stacy are very frank and open about discussing this kind of dynamic within their relationship. And, it was in fact something Amy was actively looking for when she was still single, dating and looking for a partner.
This is something that Amy and I disagree on and we've had some sort of funny arguments about the "politics" of the butch-femme thing. She's a really strong feminist and understands all the implications of the butch-femme thing that could be considered problematic. But, still... outside of the academics of it... it's something that works for her and makes her feel happy and comfortable in her relationship. Again, it's not something that I would choose for myself... and certainly lots of lesbians reject the butch-femme thing. But, the reality is that there are some in lesbian culture who embrace it.
My friend Michael has long told me about one of the most beautiful weddings he claims to have attended... actually a commitment ceremony between two women. And, in that case the two women both wore long, black cocktail style gowns.
So, the interesting thing about lesbian and gay weddings is the amount of flexibility and creativity that seems really possible since conventions about this type of wedding certainly aren't set in stone yet... the traditions of gay weddings really still seem to be in the formulation phase culturally speaking.
The amount of individuality possible from ceremony to ceremony seems like a good thing to me.
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