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Gay marriage handbook
CellarDweller:
--- Quote from: Jeff Wrangler on November 12, 2008, 01:04:42 pm ---Some time soon I want to share what I would like to do if I'm ever in a position to have a ceremony--which isn't likely.
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Oh, I'd like to read that post.
I haven't given much thought to a ceremony, but I want one.
The only thing I have pick out is matching engagement rings, and wedding rings (not traditional).
serious crayons:
--- Quote from: atz75 on November 19, 2008, 03:23:44 pm ---This is something that Amy and I disagree on and we've had some sort of funny arguments about the "politics" of the butch-femme thing. She's a really strong feminist and understands all the implications of the butch-femme thing that could be considered problematic. But, still... outside of the academics of it... it's something that works for her and makes her feel happy and comfortable in her relationship. Again, it's not something that I would choose for myself... and certainly lots of lesbians reject the butch-femme thing. But, the reality is that there are some in lesbian culture who embrace it.
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Amanda, would you mind elaborating a bit on the butch-femme thing? I mean, my folks was Methodist. ;D I get the concept in a general way, but aside from pointing toward wedding apparel choices, how does it play out in daily life? What are the politics, and how is it potentially problematic for feminists?
--- Quote ---So, the interesting thing about lesbian and gay weddings is the amount of flexibility and creativity that seems really possible since conventions about this type of wedding certainly aren't set in stone yet... the traditions of gay weddings really still seem to be in the formulation phase culturally speaking.
The amount of individuality possible from ceremony to ceremony seems like a good thing to me.
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Hey, maybe instead of destroying the institution of marriage, gay marriage could open up the possibilities for more creative wedding celebrations for couples of all kinds! :D
--- Quote from: Scott on November 19, 2008, 03:29:58 pm ---When we planned our ceremony we wanted to avoid being imitative of straight weddings. It felt false to us.
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Me too, even though mine WAS a straight wedding. It was nontraditional in many ways, because the traditions felt kind of phony. For one thing, the ceremony was conducted by my former roommate, Tom, who had just been ordained a Unitarian minister. So that was really nice! We each only had one "of honor" person, and we let them wear their own clothes. I wore a cream-colored lace dress but not a "wedding dress," and on the way to the party afterward I slipped on a jean jacket.
And Mike's brother and a friend, both musicians, provided nice gentle guitar versions of songs we loved. So the pre-ceremony music was by the Replacements:
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9MZKbYjkK64&feature=related[/youtube]
and the actual wedding processional was by the Suburbs:
[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZbWMTOf31GQ[/youtube]
And the reception was so great I've had people tell me it was their most fun one ever, including their own!
Jeff Wrangler:
--- Quote from: atz75 on November 19, 2008, 03:23:44 pm ---The traditions of gay weddings really still seem to be in the formulation phase culturally speaking.
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I just hope that "we" don't end up adopting the tradition of "tossing the garter." ... ::)
;D
Penthesilea:
--- Quote from: serious crayons on November 10, 2008, 12:28:55 am ---By Ariel Levy
Published Apr 23, 2007[/b]
Red is a bad idea: too garish, too iconic—the whore instead of the virgin—and, as a saleswoman at Saks
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Whoa, whoa, whoa, Ariel. Hold your horses! ;)
I think red is not a bad idea at all. I wore a red dress for my wedding. And when I say red, I do mean red. Fire truck red.
--- Quote from: atz75 on November 19, 2008, 03:23:44 pm ---So, the interesting thing about lesbian and gay weddings is the amount of flexibility and creativity that seems really possible since conventions about this type of wedding certainly aren't set in stone yet... the traditions of gay weddings really still seem to be in the formulation phase culturally speaking.
The amount of individuality possible from ceremony to ceremony seems like a good thing to me.
--- End quote ---
Definitly agreed that individuality in wedding ceremonies of whatever kind is a good thing. My wedding was traditional only in those aspects we agreed with. But we simply left out much of the stuff people think they "have to" do.
Nothing is set in stone. And even if it were, I've always been stubborn enough to do what I want anyway. It was our big day, so nobody but us set the rules.
Which of course goes dirtectly with the topic of gay weddings. Gay or straight, nobody but the two who are marrying should set the rules IMO. No instruction manual handbook needed ;D.
CellarDweller:
--- Quote from: Jeff Wrangler on November 19, 2008, 04:26:04 pm ---I just hope that "we" don't end up adopting the tradition of "tossing the garter." ... ::)
--- End quote ---
That's the one part of weddings I hate!
They call all the single ladies, and then all the single men, and they make them slip this garter up the leg of the poor woman.
Half the time, the bride throws it to her single best friend, and then the groom has to throw it to her boyfriend, so they can be the "next ones married."
::)
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