Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Brokeback Mountain Open Forum
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David:
Andrew you are in good company here. Alot of us have been devastated by this film after seeing it. Many because we ultimately faced the fact that we were either Jack or Ennis.
I remember being in a funk for a good month or two after my many viewings. Even to the point of standing looking out my window and crying for no apparent reason.
Finding this site and talking to all these wonderful people has really helped me heal.
Watch for posts about BBM gatherings. Many of us get together for a meal or a pint to talk and laugh. This has been happening worldwide too.
So don't despare. For every Gay guy who rolls their eyes at the mention of BBM, there are many more of us fans out there!
David
jerico_red:
Hi,
I just found out about this forum from the imdb site where I started posting a few hours ago, but damn it if I can't get over the obsession by spreading myself over another board. If nobody mind's, I'd like to introduce myself by reposting my first post from there...
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I heard all the hype and buzz on this movie when it first came up... didn't watch it.
Came out on dvd... looked past it while browsing the dvd section.
Now out on cable, I felt brave enough to watch it... and have watched it every night for the past 5 nights.
It takes a great deal for a movie to make me feel something like this, but it's never been this powerful to me. I cried at every tender moment, every intense moment, and sat rapt in attention throughout every scene. And every night I say to myself "I'll watch up to this one scene and turn it off" but the closeng credits are rolling before I realize it.
But the real reason it's affected me this much is because I'm in a brokeback-type relationship and the situations in the movie seem to mirror a lot to my frame of mind of what's been happening.
I consider myself bisexual and he has always affirmed his heterosexuality. How we met was very "right place, right time" and throughout these four years, we've always managed to stay as best friends without cementing anything as to our relationship even though I've hinted along those lines. Basically what it boils down to is that I'm the Jack to his Ennis. I guess it's easier than it was in the movie as we both live in the same city, and we have mutual friends who don't suspect anything (in fact they keep saying another of our friends has a man-crush on my Ennis). We've gotten very physical with each other when tensions rose high (sent each other to the hospital where we had matching scars stitched up) and even a reunion moment after he returned from living in Texas for a couple months.
But does this work?
I say that I'm the Jack because I would like a life together. Not out in the open as a couple, but as roomies just passing time. We're both in our thirties and I feel time is running short. The fact that Jack dies at 39 really shook me up. He has said that he doesn't want that because of his girls (he has three daughters) and is reluctant to show any sign that he's not as manly as people see him. Always questioning things like Ennis asking if people know what the situation is just by looking at him. In the movie (haven't read the short story), I noticed that neither Jack nor Ennis ever said the word love to each other although it's apparent they feel that for each other. I've said it a couple times but never heard it in return. We've had straight relationships throughout but never seem to work. In my case, I don't want any other reltionship anymore besides the one that's right in front of me.
I just realized that I'd been typing a whole lot of blabbering... this after another viewing of BBM. But since I had no other outlet, I wanted to share with other fans of the movie who felt as deeply for it as I do.
Brown Eyes:
Welcome to BetterMost!
Want a cup of coffee don't you? A piece of cherry cake?
Thanks for sharing your story! Yup, BBM has impacted us all in amazing ways. You're certainly in good company around here in that regard. Have fun exploring our forums.
cheers
Amanda
:)
jerico_red:
Thanks Amanda,
Can't eat no cake just yet.
There's so much insight about the movie here that I feel like it'll be a late night for me. That's ok, I've been having trouble sleeping since I watched the movie the first time. Seems like my dreams are filled with sheep herders and rodeos
dot-matrix:
--- Quote from: jerico_red on December 02, 2006, 10:45:31 pm ---
There's so much insight about the movie here that I feel like it'll be a late night for me. That's ok, I've been having trouble sleeping since I watched the movie the first time. Seems like my dreams are filled with sheep herders and rodeos
--- End quote ---
Welcome Jerico! Your story is so poignant. Hope it all works out for you some how. I know what you mean about late nights. I myself have spent many a late night in these parts. So much insight, so much love and compassion on this board. As for dreams filled with sheep herders and rodeo's...Me too little darlin, me too :D See you around the forum!
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