Okay, I'm going to say to myself what most of the critics are wanting to say right now...
QUIT HOGGING THE PERFORMANCE THREAD.
To be honest, people. I am very sorry. I've created a monster that is trying to be heard, and I didn't realize how much he needed to be heard til a day or two ago.... Also with Dee having limited availabillity to post as Ennis, and other parts not yet being filled, a fella addicted to the Performance Thread can get downright bored. So that's my reason... Still not an excuse.
I have no life... It's kinda pathetic that I rush to get on my computer when I get home from work and click on the Home button every two minutes to see if anyone has posted anything on the PT. I think its one of the most interesting, creative, humorous, sorrowful, loving, exasperating, and deeply emotional thing I've ever participated in.... But when it becomes an addiction, maybe I need to back off some.
Celeste said something to me a long time ago... She said that I dream as Jack, and I really empathized with that statement. Over the process of the performance, I gradually found myself losing my own identity in Jack's. I was channeling Jack, but Jack was taking over. In part, Guy is a reaction to this loss of self, a reemergence of my own identity (at least in part), until he became rather emotionally complex and also obtained a life of his own that was not controlled as much by myself as I would have liked.
And then the thing with Chris stunned us all. In the midst of my despair, I continued to post as Guy, this beautifully emotionally complex (beautifully flawed as Milli says) person so that I could figure out and sort my own emotions. The performance of Guy became therapeutic for me in this sharp and painful moment, and I went with the flow... Regretfully, I allowed it to completely take over.
So I would like to apologize to you all here and to everyone who posts on the performance thread. It was very selfish of me to monopolize the thread in that way. I would also like to apologize to Milli for turning something which could have been very simple into something more complex than any of us need right now. That was also selfish of me, but not entirely my fault. Posting on this thread has brought a deep emotional creativity in me and it seems that any time I post anything I am using it with full attention. It doesn't make posting easier, but it does make it deeper.
I would like to thank everyone who has said a kind word here about any of my characters or performances. I will of course continue to be a part of the performance thread, but hopefully will find something more lively to engage myself in when I'm not here. Right now, I don't see many things that are more lively than the performance thread thanks to all you wonderful people. Television? Pfah! Boring! It's also great because its an inexpensive hobby; I do have others, but they are less inexpensive, and money is not something I have much of right now. It mostly goes to my debtors.
Cheers and Bravo to everyone here, performer and audience member alike. This thread has come to mean a great deal to me, and it's because of the people like you, who I have come to admire and love over such a short time. Right now, you are my truest friends, and understand me better than anyone else in the world. That's what I've always wanted to have in my friendships.