I just started reading this thread and found it very interesting. So many great thoughts.
Amanda – you are right …. You may be opening an ol’ can of worms with the whole OMT idea! YIKES! I’ll avoid that debate for the moment.
I have always felt a kinship to Jack. I understand him very well. No, I’m not gay … but I’m in a secret relationship and have been for 14 years. In my case, I am white, he is black. Although my family could care less, his family has major issues about the “evil ways of white women”. So I remain hidden. We only see each other a couple of times a year and it sucks. Forget about marriage …. it will never happen. As for “quitting” him? He’s in my blood. Although I have tried to be with other men, I can’t. This is how I see Jack and Ennis’ relationship. Jack has to live a double life …. his public-appropriate life and his hidden-authentic life. Jack hasn’t chosen this path. However, circumstances have forced him into this situation.
When Jack is with Ennis, he is his authentic self. He can be a whiner and a dreamer, etc. Ennis understands Jack in a way nobody else can and vice versa. What Jack does not share with Ennis is his indiscretions (until he is forced to). Jack fears rejection. His love for Ennis is the one constant in his life and he doesn’t want to lose it. Yet, Jack has physical needs that are not being met on a regular basis … so he explores (i.e. Mexico, Randall). It means little to him, but it helps fill a void.
Jack is more outwardly vulnerable than Ennis. Ennis simply bottles his feelings until they come exploding out. (It is no coincidence that there are fireworks going on in the background when he beats up the bikers). Every emotion that Jack experiences, we experience, too. We feel Jack’s joy for living, but we also feel his pain. We feel Jack’s love and tenderness for Ennis, but we also feel his frustration. Jack does, however, contain his emotions a lot more in his “public-appropriate” life. There’s nobody in his “public” world that he really cares that much about. So, IMO, Jack really doesn’t expend that much emotional energy publicly as he does privately (except, of course, when L.D. “stud duck” Newsom pushes him beyond the breaking point … then he explodes al la Ennis).
It is exhausting for Jack to live both of these lives. We can see the toll that it has taken on himself and on his relationship with Ennis. However, Jack still allows himself to be vulnerable with Ennis. Because Jack loves Ennis, it is worth him expending that emotional energy. When we see Jack’s home and we look around his bedroom, we have a glimpse at what Jack overcame to make room for his feelings. But still, the shirts are hidden to the “public”. Privately Jack longs for the love-of-his-life and knows that it will have to remain hidden. Therein lies the tragedy.