Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Brokeback Mountain Open Forum
6 months on.......Where are you now?
ednbarby:
Hear, hear, Scott. I think we should always be happy when anyone finds us attractive and says so (barring forcing themselves physically or psychically upon us, of course), whether they're a member of our same gender or not, straight, gay, animal, vegetable, whatever. Straight women certainly don't have a problem with other women saying things like "I think you're so pretty" or "I love your hair" or "You look great - have you been working out?" And for what it's worth, I've been to a few gay/lesbian bars with my boyfriend or husband and had another woman ask me to dance and have just said, "I'm sorry - I'm here with him" or some such thing, to which they've said, "Oh, no problem," or some such thing. I've never known or heard of a lesbian or gay man forcing themselves sexually on a straight woman or man - I honestly don't think it ever happens. And I think that if one is secure in his own sexuality, one need not feel threatened in any way by the fact that a gay man finds him attractive enough to ask him out. My husband's been asked out a few times on his flights by male flight attendants, and it isn't "a problem" for him. He's just flattered. That's as it should be.
horo35:
I think you people have misunderstood me on what the word "problem" is all about. If a gay man said a compliment towards me, fine. I would simply say I'm flattered but no thanks, I like women. Maybe before I would've said something negative towards him. But now I have a better respect and understanding. As a matter of fact I knew a gay man at work and he knew I was straight and he respected that. I thought he was a nice guy and we were good aquintances. But it's a problem if they make a sexual advance towards me....and yes it does happen to people. A friend of mine knew of a couple who lived next door to him for some time. Him and the husband got along well. My friend is straight and he of course figured that the husband was also straight. Then one night they were drinking and this guy tried to make out with my buddy. That was very shocking and insulting to him. In no way has my friend ever hinted that he was gay, bi or whatever to bring this on. There was a trust bulit up and that was betrayed by this guy. And now as a result of that they don't talk to each other. If that happened to me...that would be a problem met with a "negative" action!
iluvchocolate:
I agree ednbarby, I don't think that a gay man can change him slef and marry a straight woman. I knew this one couple the guy changed his life around married a straight woman. one day the woman confided in me that her husband didn't like sex with her. that they came to a "once a month agreement" He changed his life for god he said that god didn't care for him being gay so thats why he married a striaght woman. Thats just a quick run down of the story... if interested Ill tell more later... I have to get to school now.
Katie77:
I must admit when I read the post from Horo with the line.....
--- Quote from: horo35 on September 01, 2006, 01:34:47 am --- I dont mind gay people telling me about their ways/lifestyle (for example through movies) but if they want to share it with me then thats a problem.
--- End quote ---
.......it bothered me too.....From my experiences and knowledge of many men and a few women who are gay, there doesnt seem to be a "problem" with them trying to seduce straight guys and gals....Of course, there are probably some occassions when it has happened, but I dont think it is a big problem.......I think it was just a bad choice of word by Horo and others like me, zeroed in on it....
Lets not forget the rest of Horo's post,
--- Quote from: horo35 on September 01, 2006, 01:34:47 am ---
And of course I too have an understanding of gay people. Perhaps the movie has helped...Im not sure. In a way I hope it has helped because I certainly looked at gay people in a neagtive way before I saw BBM. Nowadays I dont mind what they do...if they want to get married, fine let them...if they want to love each other...let them. I dont mind gay people telling me about their ways/lifestyle (for example through movies) but if they want to share it with me then thats a problem.
--- End quote ---
Statements like this from a straight guy, are few and far between....we know that there arent too many straight guys on this board, so when one can stand up and be counted as being able to feel the way he does about the movie, join in with the board members, where the majority are gay men and women, or straight women.....then we should embrace him and show him how great it is that he can stand up and and proclaim his understanding of a lifestyle that he is not a part of....Good on ya, Horo, if more straight men were like you, this world would be a lot nicer place.
So please dont zero in on one little word that Horo has written, its things like that, that make you lose credibility with the straight community that is trying to understand you...I know you are so sick of critisism, and because of that it has made most of you very defensive, and quick to set the record straight.... but just be careful that you dont take every observation as critisism, because, like the statement Horo made, it was just his personal observation.......It is blokes like Horo, that will stand side by side with you to make this world a better and more accepting community.
Front-Ranger:
On to another thought...I've been thinking about the line, "What do your grandchildren think about the picture of two men kissing?" First of all, they aren't kissing in the picture. Their heads are close together and they are lying down together but you can't tell that in the picture. And, what's the big deal about two men kissing anyway? This is commonplace in Europe. Better than pictures of two men beating each other up or killing each other, which you can see 24/7 on any channel of TV.
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