BetterMost Community Blogs > Skipping Stones Across the Pond of Life
Phil Skips Stones Across the Pond of Life
Phillip Dampier:
It has been quite awhile since I have updated this, so I figured now would be a good time.
For the past eight years or so, I have been able to identify a pattern of recurring summer depression/anxiety/energy drain that is exactly opposite what most people seem to experience. Spring is a season of excitement as the days grow longer and you can be outside and get comfortable. Fall is always my most contemplative season. The days grow shorter, but it's a "safe" time too. Winter is dark around here, and it can carry some annoyances when the weather is bad, but I manage through it okay. But summer for whatever reason brings this big energy drain and things that wouldn't bug me so much at other times bug me now. The best times are the weekends with the long days which let you drive around and see the countryside. But I just don't seem to accomplish as much as I should, and am easily distracted by television or other things.
So after Memorial Day, the whole summer thing hit me again. It came on quite quickly and it has been very irritating this year so far. Family health matters have made a big contribution to the concern, but I definitely notice things stress me more this time of year over others. The energy drop is the worst thing of all. Just tired a lot.
This year, the suspicion is that there is a physiological explanation for this. That would be nice if everything could be identified and resolved in some way, because it definitely cuts into my ability to get things done. Hypoglycemia may be part of this, but I am suspicious about why this is a factor for me in the summer and not as much other times of the year.
The thing I fear a lot is losing the energy and drive the movie gave me back in January when I saw it for the first time. It's been six months now and I need a recharge of that emotional push the movie gave to me. The thing I am most glad about is that there is a great team of moderators and users who are keeping things going while I work on re-energizing. I am very glad this isn't all on my shoulders, but is a group effort that would not succeed without the number of caring folks who help keep the forums going, and of course all of our great users who come and visit and make time in their day for BetterMost and the vision I tried to create here.
I take solace in that every day!
YaadPyar:
Lots of healing good wishes heading your way, friend.
vkm91941:
Lots of prayers and positive good wishes for you Phillip. Know that I care and I'm holding you in my heart as well :-* You done something so wonderful by creating this lovely and loving place for us, we could never do any less for you.
Andrew:
Phillip, I have to second what the old hands here have said. I am so grateful to you for all the work you've done to make this place and make it a welcoming, useful and fun place for so many people. It's so easy to take it for granted, then I read all you were going through when you were setting it up and get really in awe of your combination of energy, technical knowledge, political passion and human warmth.
I hope somebody, maybe a creative doctor or maybe you doing your own research, can find out what the summer blahs are about. Chances are it's a couple unrelated things mixed into an unhealthy brew. Those unholy alliances are always so hard to fight, you concentrate on fighting one of the bad partners and the other gets behind you unawares. So often one is physical and one is mental. I would definitely try to find out if others with hypoglycemia ever experience this.
I know I hate the heat and the humidity this time of year and have the AC grinding almost all the time. If that means I get less exercise than I need, of course that makes it worse. The Northeast usually goes from too cold to too hot without anything between (I'm living in Boston). A lot of times I don't get out on weekends till the early evening when it moderates. At least in my neighborhood there are pretty places to walk, from the Emerald Necklace (a string of parks and ponds running through Boston) to Arnold Arboretum and the beautifully landscaped nineteenth-century Forest Hills Cemetery. I did that last night, walked around an hour, said good night to the birds as they did their last things between the grass and trees and felt a lot better for it.
GLBT contra dancing is another local resource I just started using, just down the street at the UU church. I 'cant' dance' but I'm learning and so is everybody else. It's fun to try to move through all the brain-challenging patterns and in the end you have taken everybody's hand and spun everybody in the room around a few times. And looked in their eyes, which keeps you from getting dizzy during the swings!
There are definitely times of the week where a sadness is more likely to come over me, and I know it's from past associations. Sunday nights when the fun was coming to an end and I had to do the homework I had put off, while my mother was also getting depressed because she had to get planning her week's kindergarten activities. These things can stay with you long after you stop having homework. You have probably already dug around in your past to know what came into or went out of your summers when you were growing up. My experience is that it's working crawling around in the muck just a bit just in case you have the Eureka experience and find that one bad summer event from way back that you had repressed. Or maybe, it was the structure and stimulation of the school year you always missed, since I have the feeling you really enjoyed and excelled in some of your classes.
Anyway - hope you're getting the better of it this year. My warmest wishes and thanks!
Andrew
Shakesthecoffecan:
I experence something similar when summer comes, I am just overwelmed with things happening. I get to the point I don't want to do anything but hide from the world.
Perhaps part of it is the business of the season, molecules vibrating at a higher frequence due to heat, all that. Good luck to you finding answers and thank you for your hard work with bettermost, it is a major part of my day.
Navigation
[0] Message Index
[#] Next page
[*] Previous page
Go to full version