BetterMost Community Blogs > I Miss You On Weekends
I miss you on weekends
RebelWithASmile:
better have nothing than sadness.
'sadness' makes me feel like a victim.
happy Friday the 13th, last Friday the 13th was the worst day of my life, and i had cried in my sleep.
i've never heard Strange fruit, but i'm downloading it now ;)
Me and Bill got into a fight. He was undermining my feelings, but i was drinking.....i left a voice mail on his phone that wasn't supposed to get to him (i was going to erase it, and record another one instead) but i accidentally closed my phone. It made him feel like shit, he said, he just wanted to shoot himself, i guess. Finally he knows how i feel everytime i talk to him.
But i didn't mean to hurt him. The whole next day i waited for him to call. Life was hectic that day (yesterday). Everyone was fighting and in a bad mood. I hate my family.
well, when Bill did call me (at 9:30 at night!) he was depressed/pissed off. He told me about the voice mail, and i apologized (as he wasn't supposed to get that one.) Then he said 'that's all i wanted.'
that kinda made me angry. He wasn't apologizing for hurting MY FEELINGS!! And he said he didn't know he did, but when i was on the phone to him the day before (when he upset me) i told him about it, and he even said something that showed that he knew, but didn't care. I don't think he does, to be honest, he just won't admit it. That really pissed me off. What about my feelings? He can't handle ANYTHING.
but then, he's more concerned with our mutual friend Keli, because he told her that i was mad at her....than with me and my feelings. He said he always hurts my feelings, so basically, he was blaming it on me. I told him that i needed to hang up before i said something i'd regret....and trust me, i could of said a lot.
Shakesthecoffecan:
I can relate to your name change, and I see it as a positive step.
You and Bill and Kelli are all taking steps to learn how to communicate as adults, and it is a process full of trial and error, and some lessons are hard ones. For me it was the ones that come with alcohol consumption. I have left thoses messages too, worse that that.
One day at a time friend, one breath at a time.
ifyoucantfixit:
A least you are thinking in terms of what you should do. Many people more especially teens, don't even make concious decisions..They just react.
Some times in a positive way, and some times in a negative one. So keep thinking before you say something you will regret. Keep thinking before you do something you will regret as well. That is a life lesson you have already learned at your age. Thats very positive indeed. janice
RebelWithASmile:
thanks
just got into a fight with my mom. She called Bill's mom and her girl friend "dyke bitches."
i got mad, because that's a homophobic, and rude statement. Why would you say something homophobic in front of a homosexual? She knows i'm gay. But she just kept on raising her voice. I wanted to jump out of the car when we were at the traffic light. I was pretty calm to her until we got home, than i just got nasty. I don't regret it either.
Bill jokingly called me a *****forgive my language*************
cocksucker today on myspace. We often will jokingly call each other 'bitches' when we're play-fighting. But he's called me things like a cocksucker, and a fudge-packer, and i HATE IT. It really hurts my feelings, and they come out of nowhere. Why would he call me those things, when he knows it would piss me off, and make me feel like crap? When he called me a fudge-packer, i told him that that wasn't nice, and he apologized. But than he calls me a cocksucker......i'm over it, but that stung. And i told him to learn from his mistakes for once.
and he said he would.
but then yesterday he promised he would call today, but he hasn't and probably won't, because he's at Allen's (a friend).
it's pointless
injest:
Bill is being passive aggressive with you....for reasons of his own. But you don't need people in your life that use you to make them feel better....that is not your job.
{{Phoenix}}
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