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On Caregiving
serious crayons:
--- Quote from: Front-Ranger on January 14, 2019, 06:08:34 pm ---I started looking at what's been written on this subject and found that there are two articles that have appeared in multiple publications and I didn't find much else beyond that.
--- End quote ---
How are you looking them up? I just now typed "caregiving" into Google and got 115 million results. Many are websites about caregiving rather than articles published in major publications and some may be about paid caregivers but still, there's plenty of info on family caregivers. At least of the kind I've looked for when writing about it; far more than I had time to look at.
I googled my own byline with "caregiving" and got three stories -- one about the financial aspects, one about caregiving in general (with sidebars about specific families) and one about more men becoming caregivers. A colleague at the paper has also written a bunch of good stories because she did a year-long fellowship on the topic, which I'd be happy to PM you links to. There are also whole books, including one published by AARP that we got free copies of at one of the fellowships I attended. If you're interested, I could send you my copy if I didn't get rid of it in my downsizing frenzy.
But maybe you're looking for something more specific?
I haven't read the piece you linked yet, but I've heard that Rob Lowe is a good writer.
Front-Ranger:
I filtered it more than just caregiving. I think I typed in "moving in with aging parent". But most of the results had to do with moving your aging parent into your home. The concern I have is that, sure, you can install grab bars, but what about the parent needing to grab onto you, both literally and figuratively? Maybe some people can easily adjust but I suspect that for most of us, it's a shock to go from an autonomous person able to "freely move about the cabin" to the claustrophobic feeling that if you step away from your parent for even just a minute they will totally collapse. I don't see this adequately covered.
serious crayons:
--- Quote from: Front-Ranger on January 15, 2019, 11:20:46 am ---I filtered it more than just caregiving. I think I typed in "moving in with aging parent". But most of the results had to do with moving your aging parent into your home. The concern I have is that, sure, you can install grab bars, but what about the parent needing to grab onto you, both literally and figuratively? Maybe some people can easily adjust but I suspect that for most of us, it's a shock to go from an autonomous person able to "freely move about the cabin" to the claustrophobic feeling that if you step away from your parent for even just a minute they will totally collapse. I don't see this adequately covered.
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Hmm. Well, I can see why you'd want to focus on something directly relevant to your situation, but filtering it that way not only cuts down on the results, it may cut out results you'd actually like to see that weren't worded quite that way. What if an article called it "living with elderly mother"?
Anyway, as someone who googles things for research all the livelong day, I would suggest starting slightly more broadly, like maybe caregiving and parent. That way, you eliminate people caring for children, spouses, more distant relatives, etc. If those aren't specific enough, maybe try adding "home." What I have found in researching caregiving online is that the official sources tend to paint a slightly rosier picture than reality. I was poking around AARP one day, which has all kinds of, if not outright cheerful at least straightforward and practical info on caregiving. Then I opened a message board and was shocked by all the intense messages from regular people who were exhausted, sad, angry, frustrated, exasperated, etc. People in some cases who sounded almost suicidal. Or maybe matri/patricidal.
Front-Ranger:
Thanks for the searching tips. I was basically looking for articles having to do with the non-economic aspects of caregiving, which I feel are underemphasized.
It seems like you and I read the same AARP article, maybe! I strongly remember something about 3 years ago about caregiving, which painted a misguidedly rosy picture of it! And the comments were a backlash trying to give a more balanced view, but swung the pendulum a little farther to the negative side. I'm interested in presenting a more balanced viewpoint and telling women (since it's mostly women who are facing this) that it's all right if you don't give up your whole life for your aging parent.
An example from today about how people get sucked in. I took R. for his first treatment for prostate cancer. The trip to the treatment center went smoothly and the wait was not intolerable. We were only at the doctor's office for about 2 hours, and I had reading material and a salad to eat that I'd made myself. I was heartened to see R. emerge from the procedure walking normally, all dressed, and not visibly in pain. (Of course, the valium and oxycodone he had received helped this.) We left and were headed to his home but R. announced that he was hungry. . . about 12 times he announced this. I said, "Okay, we can stop somewhere for food." He then proceeded to tell me to turn left here and turn right there and we made our way in a circuitous fashion down neighborhood streets. "This route is more fun!" he said, but I didn't agree, gnashing my teeth.
We stopped at a Whole Foods and he began to shop and stopped to tell several of the staff what he had just gone through. Another hour went by before we exited the store. I found my old resentments at my mother's slowness returning! I was practically fuming, but I tried to hide it. It was about 4:30 pm when we got back to his house and rush hour was in full force. R. kept talking nonstop, apologizing every once in a while by saying "I'm on drugs" but I finally just cut him off and said, "I've got to go."
brianr:
This might interest you. In our local newspaper today
https://www.odt.co.nz/news/dunedin/health/life-alone-‘pretty-tough’
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