On Caregiving

[CellarDweller]

[Front-Ranger]

Thanks a whole heck of a lot, friend!!

These "granny pods" are being advertised as an alternative/solution to nursing homes. There's only one problem. No nurse! These are small homes that you build in your back yard and you install your elderly mother there. But people don't think about the fact that you then need to interact with your elderly relative several times a day, which mostly means dealing with crises and cleaning up after them as you would a baby.

[brianr]

We were extremely lucky although it was a financial drain on me for a few years. My sister lives in a unit block (I think you call them a condominium- apartments but privately owned). She and her husband own a 3 bedder but we were able to buy a 1 bedder on the same level for my mother at the end of 1999. Mum lived there until 2006 gradually becoming more dependent on my sister. An intercom meant she only had to press the button and my sister would run down the corridor (usually about 2am) to take her to the bathroom. We had one of those toilet seats ( I guess my sister still has it) I have the special seat for sitting in the shower and use it as a bathroom seat. By the end, my sister could not really leave the building so I went 2 or 3 days per week and sat with Mum. I was only working part-time by then. It was a 2 hour train ride each way or about an hour and a half by car which I usually only did on Sunday. We had a lady stay 4 hours one afternoon per week but Mum was not so comfortable with that as having one of us.
Mum never complained about anything and would have gone into a nursing home. Her name came up several times but my sister stuck it out and she died in her bed with home nursing sisters present. We think she chose that time as being less bother for us. In the last week I stayed, sleeping on the lounge knowing the end was near. I had to give her 4 hourly injections with morphine. Mum was one month short of 97.
The only real downside was my sister has severe arthritis and crooked fingers. She could not have the necessary operation because she would have been unable to bath and generally assist Mum. She had one operation 6 weeks ago and her finger had a pin until last week and she still has a hand splint. But at 81 years old herself now, it will never be as good as if she had had the operations 10 years ago.

[Jeff Wrangler]

These "granny pods" are being advertised as an alternative/solution to nursing homes. There's only one problem. No nurse! These are small homes that you build in your back yard and you install your elderly mother there. But people don't think about the fact that you then need to interact with your elderly relative several times a day, which mostly means dealing with crises and cleaning up after them as you would a baby.

Yes, exactly. Why I wish I knew how to convince my dad to sell the house and move to a retirement community. So if he ever again wakes up in the middle of the night having trouble breathing because of his congestive heart failure, there will be a nurse on duty he can call, instead of having to call 911 himself and then wait for the paramedics by himself.

[serious crayons]

These "granny pods" are being advertised as an alternative/solution to nursing homes. There's only one problem. No nurse! These are small homes that you build in your back yard and you install your elderly mother there. But people don't think about the fact that you then need to interact with your elderly relative several times a day, which mostly means dealing with crises and cleaning up after them as you would a baby.

I think people who have those are generally people who want to interact with their elderly relative. And some have small children, so they get a built-in babysitter.

But yeah, if your elderly relative is in need of nursing car or help with ordinary daily activities, assisted living is probably the better choice.




 

[Front-Ranger]

When my bro was here a week or so ago, he went to a medical supply place and bought an elevated toilet seat like the first example that friend Chuck so helpfully posted. But the maintenance man refused to install it because he said it was "unsafe". When I took it back, the sales lady rolled her eyes but allowed me to exchange it for one that looks like the second model. That one will probably also be unacceptable to the maintenance guy, but he's not running the show. Well, maybe he is, but I will duke it out with him if I have to!!

[CellarDweller]

I hope it gets installed soon, so your mom can be comfortable.

[Front-Ranger]

The new and improved "throne" seems to be acceptable, although Mom would prefer to have a fluffy plush seat lined in lavender maribou.  Seriously, folks, you have to keep a sense of humor about these things. And then there's me, used to having my toilet be a pile of hay in Nepal. Could there ever be such a mismatched mother and daughter?

So I'm a little down in the dumps today. Elderly people often have infections and communicative diseases. Even more so, young people. Very young people. When I went over to babysit my grandsons and 6-month-old granddaughter today, I just had a feeling that she was harboring a cold. Though charming as usual, she was a bit fussy, and I had to use a half of a large box of tissues to keep her nose clear. Just an hour after the babysitting, I could feel myself coming down with a cold. I was wracked with shivers, burdened down with exhaustion and very thirsty. I had to take a 2-hour nap before beginning my work. It meant I didn't end my work day until after 9 pm but that's okay, since I often worked that late when in the corporate world.

Yesterday I had different health problems. Heart palpitations, coughing and general exhaustion. I consulted my doctor this morning and found out to my surprise that it's nothing serious. I've never had those symptoms before and it scared me. The whole episode left me vulnerable and wide open to the attack of cold symptoms. I hope it's better from here on, but they're predicting a blizzard tomorrow and I'm supposed to take Mom to a dental cleaning appointment.

[CellarDweller]

Ugh.......hope you all are feeling better soon.

[serious crayons]

The new and improved "throne" seems to be acceptable, although Mom would prefer to have a fluffy plush seat lined in lavender maribou.  Seriously, folks, you have to keep a sense of humor about these things. And then there's me, used to having my toilet be a pile of hay in Nepal. Could there ever be such a mismatched mother and daughter?

Well, to be fair, you're also mismatched by 20+ years and some health problems. But your mom doesn't sound like she was necessarily the pile-of-hay type even in her younger years (me neither, to be honest).

So I'm a little down in the dumps today. Elderly people often have infections and communicative diseases. Even more so, young people. Very young people. When I went over to babysit my grandsons and 6-month-old granddaughter today, I just had a feeling that she was harboring a cold. Though charming as usual, she was a bit fussy, and I had to use a half of a large box of tissues to keep her nose clear. Just an hour after the babysitting, I could feel myself coming down with a cold. I was wracked with shivers, burdened down with exhaustion and very thirsty. I had to take a 2-hour nap before beginning my work. It meant I didn't end my work day until after 9 pm but that's okay, since I often worked that late when in the corporate world.

Yesterday I had different health problems. Heart palpitations, coughing and general exhaustion. I consulted my doctor this morning and found out to my surprise that it's nothing serious. I've never had those symptoms before and it scared me. The whole episode left me vulnerable and wide open to the attack of cold symptoms. I hope it's better from here on, but they're predicting a blizzard tomorrow and I'm supposed to take Mom to a dental cleaning appointment.

Feel better soon! I hate all those aches and pains that seem to pile up with aging. I've got something wrong with my left leg and my right wrist and my left hip and ... yuck. Plus, we too are predicted to get a snowstorm.

Oh well, hopefully by the weekend both us and the weather will be better!