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Strange Connections

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delalluvia:
That's a hoot!  :D

Daniel:
Well, I've returned, and you think that my holiday would be a happy experience. It was for the most part. I received the new McKennitt CD (as I hoped), and was able to give some beautiful gifts, beautifully wrapped, to my closest friends and relatives. I always secretly smile to myself when they unfold the wrapping paper on the edges instead of ripping through it. There is no greater tribute to the selection of giftwrap.

I found myself thinking, on many occasions, of how my life has been transformed by Brokeback Mountain, and by knowing and engaging with all of you here. I know that I have said in many places that the film elicits a variety of emotional and physical and philosophical pinings within the self, and these are explored more fully in my upcoming book Dreamfilm: Brokeback Mountain Explored, as well as attempting to identify what about the film has led so many of us to connect with it, including its recurring themes and the manner in which they were journeyed in the film. There are two themes that I did not explore because they were far too complex to look at in one short text, and it is these themes which my life is resonating with, with temporary and momentary instances of reflection on the other great truths that Brokeback Mountain reveals to us. These themes are spiritual redemption and communion.

I will not go into detail about what those exactly are, because I only am barely starting to understand them from an experiential basis. I spent days reading The Dark Night of the Soul and am now convinced more than ever that the second book of that text is speaking directly of the few moments of darkness that we perceive in the film on the Mountain. It is a difficult experience to define other than to say that this awareness enlivens my entire being, from the expansive opening of the heart to the expansion of the mind in tingling epiphany (felt shift, self-transcendence, breakthrough, peak moment)

Lynne:
Happy New Year, Daniel!  Glad you're back!

I wanted to let you know that I went ahead and posted questions 6 - 10 at http://community.livejournal.com/latterdaysfans/ ... Milli & I seem to be the only two responding.  We'd love it if you'd come over and give us your insight into 1-5 when you have some time!

-Lynne

Daniel:
Thank you Lynne, and a Happy New Year to you as well.  I have taken the time to post some responses to my own questions, although you and Milli have done a great job already.

Lately, I thought I would take some time to clean my room, and ran across some things I wrote almost a decade ago. The papers are yellowing with age, rumpled by the weight of dust, but the text on them is still legible, and still resonates with my most inner presence.


Love Life. Live Love.

Love Life:

1. Accept change.
2. Be still and know the truth.
3. Learn to forgive yourself and your circumstances.
4. If at first you don't succeed...
5. Be who you really are, even if it means sacrificing a false aspect of your public life.
6. Look for beauty in all things.
7. Be grateful for that which you have received.
8. Look forward to each new day as a bundle of opportunities.
9. Be artistic or creative in at least one way.
10. Use the five senses creatively, inspiringly, but responsibly.

Live Love.

1. Recognize others.
2. Realize that everyone has a story.
3. You must love yourself before you can love others.
4. Understand your emotions before you voice them.
5. Be honest, but gentle.
6. Respect one another's privacy.
7. Learn to forgive others and their circumstances.
8. Everyone and everything has a purpose for being here.
9. Be grateful to the camel.
10. Recognize beauty in the plain. See the divine in the ordinary. Contemplate the supernatural in the natural.

Daniel:
Well yesterday was my BBMiversary. It has been one year since I first saw the film, 6 months of floating in a cloud of pain directly afterwards, followed by 2 months of invigorating self-searching for the spiritual wisdom inherent in the film and in that pain. The last few months have seen me trying to find some way to implement that spiritual wisdom in my life.

For the first time in my life, I have pined for a particular person for over a year, and I do not find it in the one bit healthy at all. I have mostly conquered it, as I have discussed in other threads, but from time to time that torturous emotion rises again and I (as always) push it down. Push it down, resist, survive. Push it down, resist, survive. A monotony of life choices but little can be done for it.

Yes there are days when I sign onto this board and the new messages folder is filled with additions to the Jake Jake Jake thread, or as is the most recent, the Jake hosts SNL or Jake in Drag threads. As much as my fingers itch to twitch the arrow over those words and dare to press down with the simplest of muscle movements, I have managed to resist. I am resisting! I am surviving! I think that if I keep this up for a bit longer, I will be completely recovered, as the pangs of unquenchable desire are fewer in number and farther in between.

"Gyllenhaalic" is all too real a term, and I feel as though I am battling against this "ism" as much as an alcoholic would battle against his alcoholism, or any other addict against the things that he would sacrifice life and limb to acquire. Push it down. Resist. Survive.

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