Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Brokeback Mountain Open Forum
Our Boys Crying..
Anya_Angie:
I am agreeing with some things already said regarding our boys, that they have these feelings, but don't show them. They repress them. In Ennis' case, despite the fact that he cried more than Jack in the film, I still think he has more repressed feelings than Jack. Though I can't really say why I feel this way...
The men I know best in my life are my stepdad and my father. My stepfather and father are as different as can be. My father is quiet, reserved, compleely unemotional. The only time I ever saw him cry was at his mother's funeral in 2001. And even then, it wasn't that tears were flowing; as far as I could tell they were still in his eyes. He was stiff and frozen.
My stepdad has never cried that I know of. When he's upset, he launches straight into anger. He's never violent, thank God, or I'd be terrified to be in the same room with him. But he shouts and swears. Sometimes I think he must be very repressed regarding his feelings in general because he will get upset over the STUPIDEST things! Like, for example, if he can't find some bananas or lunchmeat that was simply misplaced. When my mother points them out to him, he flips because he's been proven wrong. That's something that irks me altogether about him. Niether of us like to be proven wrong. When I know I am right, when disagreeing with him, we get into a shouting match that never ends! Thank God I have my own house now where I can go to get away from him, even if it is just next door. That's still a lot better than locking myself in my room for fear he would burst in.
I have an older brother, but he is very much like my father in that he doesn't really show his feelings either.
This might sound silly, but the only time I ever saw a man cry in "real life" would be at Skate Canada in 2005, when Johnny Weir sprained his ankle in the middle of his program, yet continued to skate. After he finished, he went to receive his marks and cried, but he did not show his face; he had his head down. You could hear him sobbing, that of course was from the physical pain, also perhaps the possibility that he might have to be out of competition for a while which might have jeopardized the Olympics...
But I digress. Anyway, that's really the only time I saw a man really "cry" in a real life circumstance.
Marge_Innavera:
--- Quote from: JCinNYC2006 on June 08, 2006, 06:38:53 pm ---I envy women the ability to be more expressive with their emotions. I know the idea is that gay men are often more in touch with their feelings, but I don't always find that to be so. In fact I think we have sort of developed a different way of defending against them (cynical or bitchy humor, etc.)
--- End quote ---
My late Religious Science teacher/minister in Atlanta (he was gay, BTW) used to say that women are encouraged by society to express emotions "to a fault", with only one exception: anger. And that, conversely, men are encouraged to repress emotions to a fault, with that same exact exception. IMO one of his better insights, definitely.
serious crayons:
--- Quote from: Marge_Innavera on August 13, 2006, 10:10:12 am ---My late Religious Science teacher/minister in Atlanta (he was gay, BTW) used to say that women are encouraged by society to express emotions "to a fault", with only one exception: anger. And that, conversely, men are encouraged to repress emotions to a fault, with that same exact exception. IMO one of his better insights, definitely.
--- End quote ---
Wow, that is an excellent observation. I bet I will remember that, and he wasn't even my teacher!
silkncense:
--- Quote ---Jack shed tears alone after the divorce scene, seen by no one, except Ang Lee's camera lens. It resonated with me simply because that's the way I release pain. Privately. (I can't tell you how many times I have shed tears over this movie, but if I were watching it with someone else, I'd bottle that up).
--- End quote ---
That is SO me (generally) although sometimes a few silent tears rolled down my cheeks. And not just the film - none of my friends see me cry - breakups, divorce -
--- Quote ---women are encouraged by society to express emotions "to a fault", with only one exception: anger. And that, conversely, men are encouraged to repress emotions to a fault, with that same exact exception.
--- End quote ---
I think I may be a man.
Momof2:
I am an extremely emotional person. Growing up, I never saw men cry. The ony time I saw it was during something tragic, i.e. death. I had never seen my husband cry before our daughter was born. Very stoic. Would not let those emotions out. The minute she came out he was balling like a baby. Did not care who saw it. My heart melted. The next time I saw him cry was when our son was born. Same thing. As soon as he was out, balling like a baby and proud of it. He got sick when our son was 7 months old. Now he is alot more emotional than he has ever been. I think when you go through something like that you appreciate things more.
I am trying to teach my son that it is ok to cry and to show your emotions. My husband supports this though at first I thought he would not. He says he wants him to have a better life and to let the people he loves know it. It is hard when society tells him and all other males that this is not acceptable. My daughter, the drama queen, has no problems showing her emotions, good or bad. My son is very preceptive of others feelings. So tender. Of course I am sure this will end in a few years when he is shamed into not showing emotions. So sad. I will not give up.
I guess that is why when you see a man cry is has such an impact because it is not something alot of us see. When Ennis cries at the divorce and then Jack cries leaving after the divorce scene it kills me. So powerful.
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