Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Brokeback Mountain Open Forum

Our Boys Crying..

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serious crayons:
Funny, I was just thinking about this issue earlier, before I came across this thread. And I did a tally.

Jack cries once:
-- after the post-divorce scene.

Ennis actually cries SIX times:
-- in the alley
-- at his divorce
-- in the final lake scene
-- in the phone booth
-- in Jack's childhood room
-- in the "I swear" scene

Other thoughts:

I don't associate crying with weakness. If anything, in moderation it seems like a strength. That said, I am always really touched by guys with tough exteriors crying. I'm not sure why it gets to me so much. I suppose because I like to know that tough guys can be vulnerable and sensitive, too.

I don't like it when anyone (man or woman) cries all the time, or in a manipulative way, or in a self-pitying way. But I wouldn't apply those descriptions to any of the crying in this movie.

I think Ennis cries more than Jack because he is more vulnerable and a sadder person in general. In the alley scene, I think he is more devastated by the parting than Jack -- perhaps because he thinks he just said goodbye forever to the love of his life, whereas Jack is more optimistic, either about seeing Ennis again or finding someone else. In general, Jack is more cheerful and able to shrug things off more easily. Also, three of the times Ennis cries occur after Jack's death, so of course he has more opportunity.

jpwagoneer1964:
If you look I believe Jack also cries after he is knocked down by Ennises punch. He is close when "tell you what....truth is.....sometimes I miss you much I can hardly stand it". And their final scene when he goes to Ennis "let me be...

JCinNYC2006:
Kea, I like your questions.  I hate crying, I have the usual male perspective of feeling like it makes me look weak.  It's more like what the crying is expressing that is difficult for me.  So when the movie came out, I kinda knew it would be carthartic in that it would allow me to cry for a bit.  And even then, it was only afterwards at my friend's apartment and a glass of wine that I let myself bawl.  He was kind of taken aback by it.

I envy women the ability to be more expressive with their emotions.  I know the idea is that gay men are often more in touch with their feelings, but I don't always find that to be so.  In fact I think we have sort of developed a different way of defending against them (cynical or bitchy humor, etc.)  Not always of course, but in my closest relationships I don't often experience my gay male friends crying, whereas a lot of my female friends cry much more easily.

Juan

David:
I agree with Juan.   I find it difficult to cry in front of people.    But if I'm alone watching a movie....look out!   I'm as weepy as a schoolgirl.


Oh, and Yes!    When Jack took that punch from Ennis, you can hear him Gasp almost in tears.   VERY REALISTIC!    Trust me, I recall getting hit like that in grade school, and Jacks reaction was "Spot-on" acurate.

opinionista:

--- Quote from: JCinNYC2006 on June 08, 2006, 06:38:53 pm ---Kea, I like your questions.  I hate crying, I have the usual male perspective of feeling like it makes me look weak.  It's more like what the crying is expressing that is difficult for me.  So when the movie came out, I kinda knew it would be carthartic in that it would allow me to cry for a bit.  And even then, it was only afterwards at my friend's apartment and a glass of wine that I let myself bawl.  He was kind of taken aback by it.

I envy women the ability to be more expressive with their emotions.  I know the idea is that gay men are often more in touch with their feelings, but I don't always find that to be so. 
Juan

--- End quote ---

The idea that gay men are often more in touch with their feelings is wrong. In my opinion crying or expressing feelings has nothing to do with your sexual orientation. It actually has to do with the way you're raised and the culture you belong to. My brother has a lot of emotional problems because of his inability to express his feelings. My father, and every men in my family, thought him that crying is for sissies or for girls, and he believed it. And now my brother is spending good money on psychologists to deal with the consequences of having repressed his feelings during his entire life.

Jack and Ennis were raised to be men, machos, cowboys, so it is not surprising that they find it hard to express their feelings. And that is precisely what makes them more sensitive, in my opinion. I think men, in general, (gay or straight) don't cry as easily as women do, but its harder for them to deal with any emotional situation than its for women.

I think Ennis cries more easily than Jack does because he doesn't speak about his feelings at all. He keeps them all to himself, unaware that feelings always find their way out. That's the reason for his violent outbursts and why he cries more than Jack does in the movie. Jack talks more, so he has less necessity to cry than Ennis does.

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