Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Brokeback Mountain Open Forum
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juneaux:
Thanks for sharing the article. I liked it. Part of me has given up of figuring out why "Brokeback got me" and has just accepted that it has.
By the way, just name the time and the place and I'll be there to hold hands with you and the world.
Thanks,
J.
Lynne:
I am so glad this forum is here - I am deeply grateful for its existence, for knowing that I am not alone in this place I find myself. I've been getting my 'brokeback fix' by perusing the imdb message board, but this feels like a much more loving safe place in general to be.
In the way of introduction, I am a 37-year old single (divorced) female from Tennessee. I lived in the Boston area for 8 years. I work in the software industry. I try to care for my mother who is in very poor health. I have seen the movie 12 times. My goal is 17 before the DVD release.
I am having similar experiences as I've read others describe. The best way I know how to articulate it is that I feel like my heart was shattered then reformed and BBM has seeped into the cracks, filling them. This movie just works for me on so many levels. Any friends I've lassoed into seeing this film either 'like it' or 'love it', but they don't get the devastation, the obsession that I am feeling. Sometimes, when I look in the rear-view mirror, I see Ennis left behind in the road. When I leave my cubicle to go down the hall to a meeting, I notice that my stride is similar to Jack and Ennis walking to the bar in step the day they meet. Ad infinitum. I even see my father in Ennis (divorced parent loving his daughter in the 70's, trying to relate to her, but not quite getting there). You should have seen the look on Dad's face when I told him this :-)
At any rate, I want to be leading my authentic life, that life I envisioned when I was an optimistic 19 year old. To that end, I made a list of the ways who I am now differs from who I want/wanted to be and I want to consciously work on fixing it.
I am looking forward to meeting everyone here as we go on this journey together.
-Lynne
BBMGrandma:
Dear J....you're very welcome and we've been holding your hand from the moment you arrived here. If part of you has accepted the BBM upheaval....what has the OTHER part of you done?
And if we can ALL someday take a sojourn to our 'mountain' I'll be the first to mumble at ya...."Brokeback got us good...huh?"
Nancy
--- Quote from: juneaux on March 02, 2006, 12:15:45 am ---part of me has given up of figuring out why "Brokeback got me" and has just accepted that it has.
By the way, just name the time and the place and I'll be there to hold hands with you and the world.
Thanks,
J.
--- End quote ---
juneaux:
That is why I'm on this site. Trying to DO something positive because the how BBM made me feel. Like Lynne I believe that this is a safe place to explore these things.
I guess the "other" part of me is still hoping that what in my subconscious became inexplicably attached to this movie will reveal itself so that I understand my bond to BBM. Obsession is not something that is normal for my personality. I had found myself challenging the opinions of those who merely liked the movie. Usually I'm a "everyone is entitled to their own opinion/ every opinion is valid" type of person. This was NOT the case in Dec/ Jan. (After my first viewing it made my heart ache just to think about the film and was personally offended when others though it was over-hyped.) Luckily, I'm out of that stage. Now I wonder if I've replace my obsession with the film with the reason(s) as to why it "got me".
J.
BBMGrandma:
--- Quote from: juneaux on March 06, 2006, 01:21:04 am --- Now I wonder if I've replace my obsession with the film with the reason(s) as to why it "got me".
J.
--- End quote ---
Dear J...
Perhaps you have...and I kind of think that's the next step in this puzzle. Did you read Philip's 'Fives stages of Grief and Acceptanice'? It's somewhere on this forum. I wish I could figure out how to put it in here...but I'm not sure how to do that yet. It's a great 'read' and it sure helped me to undesrtand what I was going through....and made me feel SOO good that I wasn't alone in these feelings.
A FEW times I've actually gotten angry with people who criticized Brokeback. Now I've learned to ease up....and just 'let em be' It's easier on ME that way...!!! AFter all...I'm sure I wouldn't be able to change their minds...anyway.
Nancy
pssssst...Philip...could you direct J....to the "Five stages....."?
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