Kerry's Komedy Klub

[Katie77]

The Irish Millionaire.

Mick, from Dublin ,appeared on 'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire' and towards the end of the program had already won 500,000 pounds.

"You've done very well so far," said Chris Tarrant, the show's presenter, "but for a million pounds you've only got one life-line left – phone a friend.
Everything is riding on this question.....will you go for it?"

"Sure," said Mick. "I'll have a go!"
 
"Okay", says Tarrant, "Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest?
 
a) Sparrow?



 b) Thrush,?



 c) Magpie?



 d) Cuckoo?"

 

"I haven't got a clue." says Mick, ''So I'll use me last lifeline and phone me friend Paddy, back home in Dublin."
 



Mick called up his mate, and told him the circumstances and repeated the question to him.
 


"Fookin hell, Mick!" cried Paddy. "Dat's simple......It's a cuckoo."
 

"Are you sure?"

"I'm fookin sure."

Mick hung up the phone and told Chris, "I'll go wit Cuckoo as my answer."

"Is that your final answer?" asked Chris.

"Dat it is, Sir."

There was a long - long pause, and then the presenter screamed, "Cuckoo is the corrrrect answer!   Mick, you've won 1 million pounds!"

The next night, Mick invited Paddy to their local pub to buy him a drink.

"Tell me, Paddy......, How in Heaven's name did you know it was da Cuckoo that doesn't build its own nest?"


Paddy shouted ........."Because he lives in a Fookin clock!"

[Katie77]

A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith about enlarging her tits. 

Dr Smith advised her 'Every day after your shower, rub your chest and
say,

'Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies!'
 
She did this faithfully for several months!   
To her utter amazement she grew terrific D-cup boobs!
One morning she was running late, got on the bus, and in a panic
realized she had forgotten her morning ritual.   
Frightened she might lose her lovely boobs if she didn't recite the
little rhyme, she stood right there in the middle aisle of the bus,
closed her eyes and said, 'Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger
boobies.' 
 
A  guy sitting nearby looked at her and asked  'Oh! Are you a patient of
Dr. Smith's?'




Yes I am.. How did you know?'
 
He winked and whispered, ' Hickory dickory dock...'
 

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

 

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

Anyone remember The Golden Girls?  I loved that show! A friend emailed this link to me earlier today and it brought back so many memories about that time in my life. It made me laugh too.  

[youtube=425,350]http://www.youtube. com/watch? v=VqAJIvbnkZg[/youtube]

[Kerry]

[Kerry]

[Kerry]