Kerry's Komedy Klub

[dot-matrix]

On a recent transpacific flight, a plane passes through a severe storm.
The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning.

One woman in particular loses it. Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane.
"I'm too young to die," she wails.

Then she yells, "Well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes alive to be memorable!
Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?"

For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril.
They all stared, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.

Then an Aussie bloke stands up in the rear of the plane.
He's gorgeous: tall, well built, sun-bleached blond hair, blue eyes.

He starts to walk Slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt, ............one button at a time.

No one moves.

Everyone is transfixed.

He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest.

She gasps......

He whispers.....

Here ya go luv - iron this and then get me a beer...."

[Kerry]

Here ya go luv - iron this and then get me a beer...."

                  

Ah, Aussie men, can't live with 'em, can't live with 'em!!! 

(We still love 'em, though!  )

                    

[Kerry]

[Dagi]

I just found this in a blog:

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.


As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing down the aisle and told us ‘Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he’ll be landing the big scary plane shortly, so lovely people, if you could just put your trays up, that would be super.’

On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed an extremely well-dressed and exotic young woman hadn’t moved a muscle. ‘Perhaps you didn’t hear me over those big brute engines but I asked you to raise your trazy-poo, so the main man can pitty-pat us on the ground.’

She calmly turned her head and said, ‘In my country, I am called a Princess and I take orders from no one.’ To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, ‘Well, sweet-cheeks, in my country I’m called a Queen, so I outrank you. Tray up, Betch.’

[dot-matrix]

I just found this in a blog:

My flight was being served by an obviously gay flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone in a good mood as he served us food and drinks.........et al

Good One Dagi! 

[dot-matrix]

[dot-matrix]

The American Government funded a study to see why
 the head of a man's Penis was larger than the shaft.
 After 1 year and $180,000, they concluded that the
 reason that the head was larger than the shaft was to
 give the man more pleasure during sex.
 
After the US published the study, the French decided
 to do their own study. After $250,000 and 3 years of
 research, they concluded that the reason the head
 was larger than the shaft was to give the woman
 more pleasure during sex.
 
Australians, unsatisfied with these findings,
 conducted their own study. After 2 weeks and a cost
 of around $75.46 and 2 slabs of beer, they concluded
 that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and
 hitting himself in the forehead.




(Aussie slang - A slab is a carton of 24)

[Kerry]

The American Government funded a study to see why
 the head of a man's Penis was larger than the shaft.
 After 1 year and $180,000, they concluded that the
 reason that the head was larger than the shaft was to
 give the man more pleasure during sex.
 
After the US published the study, the French decided
 to do their own study. After $250,000 and 3 years of
 research, they concluded that the reason the head
 was larger than the shaft was to give the woman
 more pleasure during sex.
 
Australians, unsatisfied with these findings,
 conducted their own study. After 2 weeks and a cost
 of around $75.46 and 2 slabs of beer, they concluded
 that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and
 hitting himself in the forehead.




(Aussie slang - A slab is a carton of 24)

                

[Kerry]

[Dagi]

 
Australians, unsatisfied with these findings,
 conducted their own study. After 2 weeks and a cost
 of around $75.46 and 2 slabs of beer, they concluded
 that it was to keep a man's hand from flying off and
 hitting himself in the forehead.




(Aussie slang - A slab is a carton of 24)