Kerry's Komedy Klub

[pettifogger]

A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy sees an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, "Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole." The grandfather replies, "I'll bet you five dollars you can't. It's too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole." The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays the worm until it is straight and stiff as a board. The boy then proceeds to put the worm back into the hole. The grandfather hands the little boy five dollars, grabs the hair spray and runs into the house. Thirty minutes later the grandfather comes back out and hands the boy another five dollars. The little boy says, "Grandpa, you already gave me five dollars." The grandfather replies, "I know. That's from your Grandma."

[Katie77]

 

 


You are driving in a car at a constant speed.  On your left side is a 'drop off', (The ground is 18-20 inches below the level you are traveling on), and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you.  In front of you is a galloping horse, which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it.  Behind you is a galloping zebra.  Both the horse and zebra are also traveling at the same speed as you.  What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

 



* Get your drunk-ass off the merry-go-round. *

[David In Indy]

 


You are driving in a car at a constant speed.  On your left side is a 'drop off', (The ground is 18-20 inches below the level you are traveling on), and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you.  In front of you is a galloping horse, which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it.  Behind you is a galloping zebra.  Both the horse and zebra are also traveling at the same speed as you.  What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

 



* Get your drunk-ass off the merry-go-round. *

That was a good one!

How you doing Sue? It's really good to see you here! 

[Sharon]

Susie---I may be wrong--as I often am , but I think it's a take-off of the saying/warning, "Never drive faster than your angel can fly." But on this one---both are flying. Hmmm? Maybe?

Yes, you are right Shasta!

The original quote is actually quite universal I'm told since a lovely English lady I know is the first one to ever send it to me:

"Never drive faster than your Guardian Angel can fly"

In the case of this photo I think Sharon changed it a bit to fit the photograph.  The planes have discharged counter-measures, these are rockets designed to fool heat seeking missiles and protect the aircraft from being shot down.  In this case the second plane has flown through the smoke left by the counter-measures fired by the first plane and the turbulence has created a "wings" effect in the smoke then the second plane fired it's counter measures hence the bright sparkly bits.

The photo is dramatic and breathtaking and the quote very apropos I think.  Hope that helps   

Thats perfect Dottie! Exactly what I mean! I have modified the quote to fit the picture!
Thanks for your exlanations!

That's a spooky pic, Sharon! 

Great photography! 

Well Kerry, thats exactly what I`ve thought as I saw it!

[Sharon]

. . . . . . Look down, not scroll down, ya dork!       
 

   

Oh I´m a dork!

[underdown]

Well, I scrolled down, not being self conscious and all 

**********************************************

Friend of mine is almost perfect.
In his words ...

'I don't drink, gamble, smoke, swear, chase wild women nor steal cars'.

'In fact, I'm perfect'. 


Well ..... OK, I do have one vice.

            I tell terrible lies. 

[Kerry]

[underdown]

Hmmmmmmm 

 

[underdown]

Thanks Kerry 

Hey, Phillip gave me some instruction on loading pics and vids.

BUT HE DIDN'T TELL ME HOW TO CROP TO 65 X 65 THROUGH THE MIDDLE !  

(It was just that the shirt wasn't tucked in). ....  (honest !) 

[underdown]

Pets we love !