Kerry's Komedy Klub

[Kerry]

[Katie77]

Q: How many women with MENOPAUSE does it take to change a light bulb?   

 
Woman's Answer: One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY?  Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the # &%! * light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!!  AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!!  BECAUSE NO ONE EVER PICKS UP OR CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!!  IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL !! 
I'm sorry. What was the question?
 
 
___________________________________________________________

[Dagi]

 

[Kerry]

Q: How many women with MENOPAUSE does it take to change a light bulb?   

 
Woman's Answer: One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY?  Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don't even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!! They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn't be able to find the # &%! * light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS! But if they did, by some miracle of God, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!!  AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!!  BECAUSE NO ONE EVER PICKS UP OR CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!!  IT'S A WONDER WE HAVEN'T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE! AND DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL !! 
I'm sorry. What was the question?
 
 
___________________________________________________________

Hmmm, I once knew a bloke like that!     

[Kerry]

Children’s Science Exam

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
 
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.

Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized?
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain, the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.

Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarian Section."
A: The Caesarian Section is a district in Rome.

Q: What does the word "benign" mean?
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.

[underdown]

Hmmm, I once knew a bloke like that!     

Do you mean .....

A: A bloke with menopause?
B: A bloke who had to change the bulbs?
C: A bloke who left the chair in the middle of the room and the bulb packet on the floor?

 

Rob

[Kerry]

Do you mean .....

A: A bloke with menopause?
B: A bloke who had to change the bulbs?
C: A bloke who left the chair in the middle of the room and the bulb packet on the floor?

 

Rob

Yes!!! 

[underdown]

Hey .... that 'You are here' mice in the dark tunnel cartoon reminds me very much of this office.

May I copy it to the staff notice board?

Rob    

[underdown]

Yes!!! 

WOW !!


(was it YOU ?)

[Kerry]

Hey .... that 'You are here' mice in the dark tunnel cartoon reminds me very much of this office.

May I copy it to the staff notice board?

Rob    

Go for it, Rob! Everything here is in the public domain for us all to enjoy and share!