Kerry's Komedy Klub

[Kerry]

[Katie77]

BEST LAWYER JOKE OF THE MONTH...

Two lawyers had been stranded on a desert island for several months.The only thing on the island was a tall coconut tree that provided them their only food. Each day one of the lawyers would climb to the top to see if he could spot a rescue boat coming.

One day the lawyer yelled down from the tree, 'WOW, I just can't believe my eyes. There is a woman out there floating in our direction.'

The lawyer on the ground was most skeptical and said, 'You're hallucinating; you've finally lost your mind.'   
But within a few minutes, up to the beach floated a stunning red head, face up, totally naked, unconscious, without even so much as a ring or earrings on her person.

The two lawyers went down to the water, dragged her up on the beach and discovered, yes, she was alive, warm and breathing.

One said to the other, 'You know, we've been on this God forsaken island for months now without a woman. It's been such a long, long time.....So ...  do you think we should  well ...  you know ...  screw her?'

'Out of WHAT?!?' asked the other.
 
 

[Katie77]

The Amazing Frank Feldman

       A man walks into the street and manages to get
 a taxi just going by.
 "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."

       Passenger: "Who?"
       Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. He's a guy who did
 everything right all the time.
       Like my coming along when you needed a cab,
 things happened like that to Frank Feldman every
 single time."

       Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over
 everybody."

      Cabbie: "Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific
 athlete.
       He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis.
       He could golf with the pros.
       He sang like an opera baritone and danced like
 a Broadway star and you should have heard him play
 the piano. He was an amazing guy."

       Passenger: "Sounds like he was something
 really special

       Cabbie: "There's more... He had a memory like
 a computer.
       Could remember everybody's birthday.
       He knew all about wine, which foods to order
 and which fork to eat them with.
       He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a
 fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank
 Feldman, he could do everything right."

       Passenger. "Wow, some guy then."

      Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go
 in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I
 always seem to get stuck in them.
       But Frank, he never made a mistake and he
 really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel
 good.
       He would never answer her back even if she was
 in the wrong; and his clothing was always
 immaculate, shoes highly polished too - he was
       the perfect man! He never made a mistake. No
 one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman."

       Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you
 meet him?"

       Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank. I
 just married his f**king widow."

[Kerry]

[TXdoug]

BRAVO !!! Kerry

I always look forward to a new cartoon from you 

Thank you, Kerry in OZ 

[Kerry]

BRAVO !!! Kerry

I always look forward to a new cartoon from you 

Thank you, Kerry in OZ 

Hi Doug!   

[TXdoug]

Ice Cream  Picture.... DELICIOUS          
      

[TXdoug]

Howdy, Kerry

[underdown]

A guy was having trouble with his computer, and finally decided to call the manufacturer's help desk.
The technician listened carefully, then started to rattle off instructions in computer jargon, which went right over the guy's head.
'Excuse me' he interrupted. 'But could you explain all that as though you were talking to a four year-old ?'
'Oh, sure', replied the technician. 'Son, could you please put your mommy on the phone ?'

[underdown]

A mechanic, an auto electrician and a Microsoft software engineer were driving through the desert when the car broke down.
The mechanic said, 'It's probably the fuel injection. I'll just pop the hood and take a look at it.'
The auto electrician said, 'No, I think it's a loose ground wire. I'll get out and fix it.'
The Microsoft engineer buts in, 'No no. If we just close up all the windows, get out, wait a few minutes, get back in and then reopen the windows, everything will work fine.'