Brokeback Mountain: Our Community's Common Bond > Brokeback Mountain Fan Fiction & Poetry
Camden Yards by debutante9 (Kumari)
mvansand76:
--- Quote ---I hope that's the way it goes. I'd like to see Bobby go along with them - I think he is in desperate need of some sincere attention from his dad. I think he's craving it, as a matter of fact. It would bother me if Jack, in a fit of lust, makes some excuse so that he and Ennis can go alone. But, I totally suck at predictions. I didn't see this chapter coming at all - I thought we were going to go through a lot more hemming and hawing on Ennis's part (and who knows, that might kick in later? :-\)
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Oh I don't think Jack will go alone with Ennis, I bet they will take him with them, but maybe at this fishing trip Bobby will find out about them, or at least get a hint? And don't forget the away game and the house Jack is building! Weren't they like teenagers waiting for their parents to go out? LOL!
You know, that's what I love about this fic! I love that, at least up to this point, there is no angst about what is going on between them, they are exploring, finding things out, testing the water, trying to find out what the other likes, how deep their attraction is, ways to make each other crazy. Ennis is angsty about a three-way betrayal, he is betraying Alma with Jack and has betrayed Alma with Abbey, but he has also betrayed Jack with Abbey, even though he now obviously has no interest whatsoever of going back to her. Which betrayal does he feel most guilty about?
--- Quote ---Yeah, Jack's a talker, that's for sure. But Ennis does manage to get his point across. ;) I could listen to CY Jack talk all day. One of my favorite AU/AU Jacks. Cracks me up how he's always calling Ennis while he's in the middle of a conversation with someone else, or yelling at a driver on the road. :laugh:
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I know! I love the banter, he is so friggin' adorable and it's so great to read how they go from talking like they have always done to practically devouring each other and back to the talking and then on to the floor of the basement! Hahaha!
--- Quote ---Bobby cracks me up! But.... I'm wondering why Alma and Ennis waited so long to get married. It's not unusual for a woman to get pregnant and then the couple gets married. But why did they wait until after Junior was born to get married? I'm wondering if there is a story there. Remember that chapter when Ennis is buying Alma some pajamas for her birthday? A line stuck in my head. After he buys them, he tells Jack that he usually ends up with the first thing he sees. I'm not saying he doesn't love Alma, but was she the "first thing he saw"?
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Interesting!!! Yes, you may be right and I do think Ennis works that way, mmmm.... I think he never really thought it through maybe and that he thought that this was the right thing to do, just like canon Ennis.
--- Quote ---Yes, and this is the most intriguing aspect of this fic. The long-time friendship, the dynamics between the families, and this inevitable betrayal. You could tell that Junior likes the fact that Jack has 50 nicknames for her - he's made her feel special.
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Yes, and also, Jack has all those beer nicknames for Alma! I loved that they spoke about that while eating chili (Beans!!! Hahaha and Homer Simpson!!!)...
--- Quote ---Yeah, and then he added "..and what if that’s the truth?” And we know that it is the truth.
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Exactly, I think we will find out more about it, more than just the scene with the lap dancing stripper in chapter 3.
--- Quote ---Not to mention the discussion about Jack's parents and upbringing vs. Ennis's parents and upbringing. Interesting stuff. And, omg, when Jack started talking about Slater. Not only hilarious - but so many layers in that conversation!
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Yeah, I am not sure about this, does this have to do with the fact that Jack is so much better off than Ennis (oh I now remember that Ennis's kiss was like a gilded ballroom, I just loooooove that Jack is so obsessed with Ennis's kisses, I can so understand that!)? I bet this will become very important. Can't see how yet, though....
:-* Mel
mariez:
I'm baaaack. Damn, if only I didn't have to work for a living! LOL!
Good point about Bobby getting a hint. He is one smart cookie, and if he is alone with those two I can't see how he wouldn't pick up their vibes. I can feel them from here! And, yeah, I keep forgetting about that away game. And when will that house come back into play?
Ennis's multi-betrayal - I'm sure we haven't seen the last of the repercussions from this! I'm not sure I would call Ennis's tryst with Abbey a betrayal of Jack - but you're absolutely right that Ennis thinks of it that way. Otherwise, he would have told Jack about it - and he can't. But it's always what people don't say that come back to bite them the hardest. At this very moment, Ennis isn't thinking about guilt - but he will be. I think that's inevitable too.
--- Quote from: Snavel del Snuit on August 09, 2007, 03:55:08 pm --- .. . and it's so great to read how they go from talking like they have always done to practically devouring each other and back to the talking and then on to the floor of the basement! Hahaha!
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I'm glad you brought this up - it's one off the first things that hit me. Now, ordinarily the transition from awkward sex to normal guy talk and back to awkward sex (and a few awkward attempts at sweet talk) might seem weird or contrived. But it doesn't - it feels very natural. It must be because of the ironclad bond they've developed over the years. These guys aren't just best friends - they are everything to each other. And nothing trumps that - they can't stop being "best friends" and talking like they always have. it's ingrained in them.
I'm not sure how their economic differences are going to enter into this, but we're starting to hear more about Jack's parents, and even though Jack doesn't seem to think much of them, they're obviously still around and I'm wondering if we'll meet them....
You're right - Jack does seem to be fixated on Ennis's kisses! And Ennis seems to be fixated on Jack's hair. LOL! Which shows us that there is romance here - not just sex.
Later! :-*
mvansand76:
--- Quote ---I'm baaaack. Damn, if only I didn't have to work for a living! LOL!
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LOL, I know, you really were in the wrong time zone when this chapter was posted, weren't you? It was 9 o clock for me at night, so I was lucky!
--- Quote ---Good point about Bobby getting a hint. He is one smart cookie, and if he is alone with those two I can't see how he wouldn't pick up their vibes. I can feel them from here! And, yeah, I keep forgetting about that away game. And when will that house come back into play?
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Yeah I really like Bobby, I think he will play a major part in Jack and Ennis being found out. I mean, he is used to them acting in a certain way around each other and I bet that he will pick up on the huge change between them, because it is huge and Bobby is a sensitive kid, he will def. notice something is off and he might catch them arguing or something or even in more than a friendly hug. I don't know, don't want to speculate TOO much, hahaha!
--- Quote ---Ennis's multi-betrayal - I'm sure we haven't seen the last of the repercussions from this! I'm not sure I would call Ennis's tryst with Abbey a betrayal of Jack - but you're absolutely right that Ennis thinks of it that way. Otherwise, he would have told Jack about it - and he can't. But it's always what people don't say that come back to bite them the hardest. At this very moment, Ennis isn't thinking about guilt - but he will be. I think that's inevitable too.
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I bet it will hurt Jack more if he finds out about this from somebody else. At least, if Ennis had told him, he could have explained to him that he was confused and that it meant nothing, but this is gonna tear Jack apart, and he might do something foolish, like tell Alma. Again, just speculating... LOL!
--- Quote ---I'm glad you brought this up - it's one off the first things that hit me. Now, ordinarily the transition from awkward sex to normal guy talk and back to awkward sex (and a few awkward attempts at sweet talk) might seem weird or contrived. But it doesn't - it feels very natural. It must be because of the ironclad bond they've developed over the years. These guys aren't just best friends - they are everything to each other. And nothing trumps that - they can't stop being "best friends" and talking like they always have. it's ingrained in them.
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Yeah, it's def. ingrained in them, and that's what makes their bond so special. I am dying to read about all the other hints that they were interested in each other as more than just friends. We had the hint with the stripper and Ennis loving Jack's hair, there must be more!
--- Quote ---I'm not sure how their economic differences are going to enter into this, but we're starting to hear more about Jack's parents, and even though Jack doesn't seem to think much of them, they're obviously still around and I'm wondering if we'll meet them....
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Good point, I bet we will meet them, and I bet they will be very different from canon Jack's parents.
--- Quote ---You're right - Jack does seem to be fixated on Ennis's kisses! And Ennis seems to be fixated on Jack's hair. LOL! Which shows us that there is romance here - not just sex.
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And I love how Ennis said "I didn't even do that this time", not "we didn't even do that this time"! :laugh:
:-* Mel
mariez:
--- Quote from: Snavel del Snuit on August 10, 2007, 06:12:32 am ---I bet it will hurt Jack more if he finds out about this from somebody else. ....
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Yep, and my money is on Abbey's brother, Jude, to spill the beans... >:( Because, as you've pointed out, this chapter was relatively angst-free (except for when Alma was massaging Ennis who was feeling "guilty as shit"), I'm afraid the next one may be angst-heavy. Not having any idea how many chapters there are going to be, it's hard to judge the pacing of events - but I think that adds to the intrigue of this story.
--- Quote from: Snavel del Snuit on August 10, 2007, 06:12:32 am ---Good point, I bet we will meet them, and I bet they will be very different from canon Jack's parents.
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Don't know about his dad, but his mom already sounds very different from OS Mrs. Twist. You can tell that he flat out doesn't like his dad and he seemed scornful of "Brenda Twist" and her pretensions.
Do you have any thoughts on where the next chapter might start? I don't think it will be a direct continuation from this one, but other than that I don't have a clue. :-\
:-*
Marie
mvansand76:
--- Quote ---Yep, and my money is on Abbey's brother, Jude, to spill the beans... >:( Because, as you've pointed out, this chapter was relatively angst-free (except for when Alma was massaging Ennis who was feeling "guilty as shit"), I'm afraid the next one may be angst-heavy. Not having any idea how many chapters there are going to be, it's hard to judge the pacing of events - but I think that adds to the intrigue of this story.
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Oh God, Marie, I cannot bear the thought of Jack being hurt like this. I would not be able to write such a scene, I would try to protect Jack from everything and the whole story would get screwed, hahahaha! I feel very protective over Jack. This Jack is so deeply in love, and it's gonna hurt like hell when he finds out.
--- Quote ---Do you have any thoughts on where the next chapter might start? I don't think it will be a direct continuation from this one, but other than that I don't have a clue. :-\
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You never know with Kumari! :laugh: I sure wish she would tell us in detail what happened in that room. Hahaha! I think there will be a scene where they are together with both their families. Then there might be the fishing trip. I sure hope that the revelation isn't anywhere in sight and there might not even be a revelation, Jack might never find out about Abbey... you never know...
What do you think?
:-*
Mel
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