Another Viewing... Starting to Zone Out & Reminded Of Other Things In My Past

[Phillip Dampier]

I managed to catch BBM again on HBO the other night.  A year or so after seeing it for the first time, viewing it again at this point, after so many past viewings, has started to affect me differently.  I wonder if others are experiencing these kinds of things:

The movie viewing at this point makes me actually think back to the first time I saw it in the theatre - that experience has actually become a past part of my life that is recalled when something reminds me of the film (or I see it).  It's odd because the emotional impact of the film at this point is, of course, far less for me than it was back then, but my emotions now seem to be relating to everything that has happened to me from the first viewing of the film forward over the past year, and how much has changed in my life.

This was my actual first viewing of the film on our new plasma television, which is of course far larger (and honestly I have spent very little time watching television on it since we've gotten it as I'm in front of the computer more often).  Immediately, my thoughts started wandering away from the dialogue and the plot which I am so familiar with.  Now I am focused far more on the scenery and the things happening in the background.  I am wishing I could feel the wind on my face, be able to smell what they smell, wondering what the temperature was, and just wanting to be outside away from the suburban din around me right now.

Scenes bizarrely trigger memories in my own past life which have no relation to the movie at all.  Seeing Junior riding with Ennis in the truck across Riverton reminds me of my dad driving me in his pickup when I was younger.  When I see the scary 70s and early 80s country outfits and music, I am reminded of the guy who cut my hair part-time from his home when I was growing up - he was a friend of my dad and his wife was an avid country & western music fan, right down to some of the Lureen hairstyles, and having to endure Hee Haw when going over there. 

Then there is a return of the wish for something more... more detail of the story and the chronicle of their past.  I wondered about what their respective lives in-between visits must have been like.  I think part of this renewed interest may be a part of "the process" I hadn't really considered when I wrote my stages post a year ago.  Once one gets comfortable with the direction their life changes are taking them, it seems okay to go back to the story and consider it all once again, and wanting to recapture some of that energy and drive the film forced upon me.

I have also been noticing the almost-all-Jake-weekend on the premium channels over the weekend, as they ran Donnie Darko, BBM, and Jarhead at the same time on different channels.  I was intrigued by Donnie Darko the first time I saw it (and didn't need to see it again), but honestly abandoned Jarhead and I'm not entirely sure why.  It just didn't seem like I wanted to see Jake in a role other than Jack Twist, at least not right now.

I feel myself being pulled out west and it's almost like I feel trapped here and I seem to be resenting it more and more.

I've not had a chance to try and pull all of these various thoughts into some deeper meaning, but thought I would throw them out.

[Scott6373]

I can't write as much as you did, because for me, the opposite has happened.  I find myself, when thinking about BBM, seeing it in a simpler light.  A less layered, and more fundamental way.

I don't watch the film anymore, and at this moment, have no desire to see it.  I don;t know if this means that I was open enough to the lessons it NEEDED to teach me and that I NEEDED to learn, that it has now become "an old shoe" part of my life: as familiar as the shape of my face, or the color of my hair.

[Front-Ranger]

I had the wonderful opportunity, thanks to Bay City John, to see the movie on the large screen again! It was just as impactful if not more so than when I saw it the first time. Lately, when I find myself wanting the scenes to be longer, for there to be more, I start watching the movie deeper, looking at all the things in the frame and deeper into the background. For instance, I was struck by how often Jack appeared with a bucket near him. Also, I watched the two horses in the background and how they mirrored the positions of Jack and Ennis.

It's more relaxed watching the movie these days. In the happy tussle scene, my eyes are always drawn to the margins where you can see the dark outline of the binoculars. It's so wonderful to be able to watch the boys' action and not have to look at that premonitionary border! Also, it's great to see Ennis's bathing scene without having to try to take in both boys at once!

[David]

I haven't watched it since it came out on DVD.       I think of BBM in the same way I think of the movie Titanic.    I enjoy them both, especially the characters, the scenery and sets, but you just know there isn't going to be a happy ending.   

PS:   Phillip.  I remember having to watch HEE HAW as a child too.   LOL.

[Phillip Dampier]

Aigh... I cannot get away from this movie.  I was eating lunch with the TV on and there was John Twist a/k/a Peter McRobbie sitting with his judge robes on in another case for Law & Order on TNT.  This is getting weird.   

[Scott6373]

Aigh... I cannot get away from this movie.  I was eating lunch with the TV on and there was John Twist a/k/a Peter McRobbie sitting with his judge robes on in another case for Law & Order on TNT.  This is getting weird.   

Go find John...make some new memories today...

[Daniel]

Phillip, Having seen the film 24 times in a theater, I can safely say that I know exactly where you are coming from. I too experienced this verge of meaning and my mind and heart ached to be thrust into it, though for some reason I did not.  It was not until recently that I felt the click and linked with the chain of greater meaning that seemed to be the underflow of the film, and of life, and of everything.

Now that I have felt that connection, I am experiencing life a little differently..... a great deal differently, I should say. I cannot even say what it is.... but those around me tell me that my stance has shifted, my expressions are different from what they once were, and that I bear a certainty of the self. When I have tried to explain what has happened to me to others, words fail me.... though it is strange that my poetry seems to bear that awareness more capably than any exposition I've been able to deliver.  More and more, I find myself drawn to poetry and lyrics, for to me, they capture the essence of this new presence and can describe much where mere words and sentences fail to do so.

[opinionista]

Aigh... I cannot get away from this movie.  I was eating lunch with the TV on and there was John Twist a/k/a Peter McRobbie sitting with his judge robes on in another case for Law & Order on TNT.  This is getting weird.   

I saw that too! when I was home back in December. I was like, what is Jack's dad doing there? LOL

[Jeff Wrangler]

A less layered, and more fundamental way.

Interesting way to put it. I could say the same. But what I mean is that I'm somehow seeing it more as the "illustrated" version of Annie Proulx's story than I did in the past.

[Brown Eyes]

Now I am focused far more on the scenery and the things happening in the background. 

I think that the things going on in the background and the amazing little details of scenery, etc. are a major key to the movie.  All those details make the movie sort of function like poetry to me.




For me one of the most interesting things about the whole BBM phenomenon in my own life is how it's become part of my daily life.  There's hardly a day when I'm not online here, so of course on some level I'm thinking about BBM for a good amount of time everyday.  It really has become just a normal part of the fabric of my day... or a major reference point for tons of stuff in my daily life.  I liked what Scott said about it becoming bizarrely familiar.

as familiar as the shape of my face, or the color of my hair.

This seems very true for me.  But it doesn't make the movie any less intriguing to me.

One other interesting aspect of the "BBM phenomenon" for me, is that I'm still stuck in this (now very long) phase where I don't have much desire at all to watch other movies.  I haven't been in a movie theatre for months and I don't have much interest in my DVDs, even of movies that I really love.  I'm not interested in Jake or Heath's other movies really either... because for me it's not really about them.  It feels really wierd to see Jake promoting another movie now.  Mostly because that really does make BBM feel like a part of the past.  This no-interest in movies (other than BBM) is very, very odd for me and I thought it would have passed by now.