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I Love Funny Country Songs!!
loneleeb3:
This one is really funny but has explicit lyrics!
So if your easily offended dont read any further.............
A Letter to my Penis
Rodney Carrington
Dear Penis,
I don't think I like you anymore,
You used to watch me shave,
Now all u do is stare at the floor.
Oh dear Penis,
I don't like you anymore.
It used to be you and me,
A paper towel, and a dirty magazine,
That's all we needed to get by.
Now it seems things have changed,
I think that you're the one to blame.
Dear Penis,
I don't like you anymore.
Now he sings,
Dear Rodney,
I don't think I like you anymore,
'Cause when u get to drinkin'
You put me places I've never been before.
Dear Rodney,
I dont like you anymore.
Why can't we just get a grip,
On our man to hand relationship.
Come to terms with truly how we feel.
If we put our heads together,
We'd just stay home forever.
Dear Penis,
I think I like you after all.
Oh and Rodney,
While yer shavin',
Shave my balls.
ifyoucantfixit:
Well I love her
But I love to fish
I spend all day out on this lake
And hell is all I catch
Today she met me at the door
Said I would have to choose
If I hit that fishin' hole today
She'd be packin' all her things
And she'd be gone by noon
Well I'm gonna miss her
When I get home
But right now I'm on this lakeshore
And I'm sittin' in the sun
I'm sure it'll hit me
When I walk through that door tonight
That I'm gonna miss her
Oh, lookie there, I've got a bite
Now there's a chance that if I hurry
I could beg her to stay
But that water's right
And the weather's perfect
No tellin' what I might catch today
Well I'm gonna miss her
When I get home
But right now I'm on this lakeshore
And I'm sittin' in the sun
I'm sure it'll hit me
When I walk through that door tonight
That I'm gonna miss her
Oh, lookie there, I've got a bite
Yeah, I'm gonna miss her
Oh, lookie there, I've got a bite
this is a pretty new one by Brad Paisley...
delalluvia:
"I got me a woman,
she's a pretty good woman at that.
We live with a monkey and a Chinese acrobat.
She calls me 'Tex' and makes me wear a cowboy hat.
But I don't care 'cause she's a pretty good woman at that.
Nuthin' gonna make me treat my woman mean.
She trims my beard, she keeps my tractor clean.
She cooks my food and serves me turnip greens.
Yeah, I know that she's the best little woman I seen.
Refrain
Some folks go to heaven, some folks stay in Tennesse.
I don't care where I"m headed, just as long as that
woman stays with me.
I like nuthin' better than to spend my nights at home.
And listen to my baby, play her slide trombone.
She talks in tongues, and boy that turns me on.
I know she's the best little woman aroun'.
Refrain
Some folks go to heaven, , some folks stay in Tennesse.
I don't care where I"m headed, lawd, just as long as that
woman stays with me."
John Anderson, I got me a woman
ffrn:
SINCE CHERYL WENT FERAL
Jim Haynes
Watching 60 minutes one night
As soon as it was over we got into a fight
Because Cheryl said alternative was the way to go
And the very next day she bought a sarong
A sheepskin jacket and a brand new bong
And before I knew it we hit the road
Since Cheryl went feral
Everything's weird
And all our friends have disappeared
She shaved her head and I've grown a beard
Since Cheryl went feral
It took us ages to hitch our way
From Pennant Hills up to Byron Bay
If we left those kids at home we'd have been alright
Well living off the land is all very well
But the mungbean diet was giving me hell
And I had to put that wigwam up each night
Since Cheryl went feral
Everything's crook
And all our food is now uncooked
I'd kill for a burger or a piece of chook
Since Cheryl went feral
Our little girl was called Narelle
And we had a little boy named Bruce as well
But now she's Crystal Flower and he's Leaf
But Leaf's pretty happy since we left home
Because he hasn't seen a bath or a shower or a comb
And it's been three months since he brushed his teeth
Since Cheryl went feral
Everything's changed
And I'm quite sure I've become deranged
And I can't remember anyone's name
Since Cheryl went feral
Cheryl took a vow of celibacy
She said she needed no input from me
She got her navel pierced and stared at it all day long
So I read the tarot with Leaf and Flower
And dreamed about a nice cold shower
While I waited for my turn on the bong
Since Cheryl went feral
Everything's pierced
Rings through me nose and rings through me ears
I haven't been this pierced for years
Since Cheryl went feral
I began to change me tune
As soon as we joined that big commune
And everyone took their clothes off straight away
Their cosmic philosophy appealed to me
It's multiple serial polygamy
And I think the feral lifestyle's here to stay
Since Cheryl went feral
There's a real traffic jam
Of naked women in our wigwam
And I'm pretty happy right where I am
Since Cheryl went feral
For those non-Aussies reading this, chook = chicken, crook = ill, substandard or not right, Pennant Hills is a very respectable suburb of Sydney and Byron Bay is a major town in the hippie heartland on the far north coast of NSW.
About 10 years ago, the leader of one of our minor political parties was named Cheryl. Much to everyone's amazement, she suddenly defected to join one of the two major political parties. The radio stations took great delight in referring to the defection as Cheryl going feral and this song was played regularly.
jstephens9:
The words to the song are humourous in themselves. However, the real funny part, is that when I worked in a record store religious people would come in asking for that religious song "Heavens Just A Sin Away" and they were being serious.
Heavens Just A Sin Away
Heaven's just a sin away oh oh just a sin away
I can't wait another day I think I'm giving in
How I long to hold you tight oh oh be with you tonight
That still don't make it right cause I belong to him
Oh way down deep inside I know that it's all wrong
Your eyes keep tempting but I never was that strong
Devil's got me now oh oh gone and got me now
I can't find him anyhow I'm think he's gonna win
Heaven's just a sin away oh oh just a sin away
Heaven help me when I say I think I'm giving in
Oh way down deep inside...
Think I'm giving in think I'm giving in
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